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Cotton Swabs are the Prime Suspect In 8-Year Phantom Chase

matt4077 writes "For eight years, several hundred police officers across multiple European countries have been chasing a phantom woman whose DNA had been found in almost 20 crimes (including two murders) across central Europe. It now turns out that contaminated cotton swabs might be responsible for this highly unusual investigation. After being puzzled by the apparent randomness of the crimes, investigators noticed that all cotton swabs had been sourced from the same company. They also noted that the DNA was never found in crimes in Bavaria, a German state located at the center of the crimes' locations. It turns out that Bavaria buys its swabs from a different supplier."

93 of 344 comments (clear)

  1. Ewwwwwww... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    So they shredded a woman for swabs? I thought we were only good for barbecue, masks, book covers, lampshades and creepy garments.

    1. Re:Ewwwwwww... by c0p0n · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh my, are you like, a woman?

      Oh my oh my oh my oh my

      --

      Your head a splode
    2. Re:Ewwwwwww... by vegiVamp · · Score: 2, Funny

      Neh, you're pretty good for doing the dishes, too.

      --
      What a depressingly stupid machine.
    3. Re:Ewwwwwww... by Zero__Kelvin · · Score: 4, Funny

      "I thought we were only good for barbecue, masks, book covers, lampshades and creepy garments."

      "Neh, you're pretty good for doing the dishes, too."

      The thing women can be useful for that you notice is not on the list is really the dishes ? Wow. This really is Slashdot!

      --
      Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
    4. Re:Ewwwwwww... by Poltras · · Score: 5, Funny

      Oh man you totally talked to her.

    5. Re:Ewwwwwww... by T.E.D. · · Score: 2, Funny

      So they shredded a woman for swabs? I thought we were only good for barbecue, masks, book covers, lampshades and creepy garments.

      I'm pretty sure you missed one...

  2. Great way to hide by Onyma · · Score: 5, Funny

    Bet you'll find her at the end of the packing line completely unaware she's a highly adept and wanted criminal. Or what a brilliant cover if she was guilty ;)

    --
    Play me online? Well you know that I'll beat you. If I ever meet you I'll "/sbin/shutdown -h now" you. -Weird Al, kinda.
    1. Re:Great way to hide by vidnet · · Score: 5, Funny

      There are some jobs where you really shouldn't express dissatisfaction by spitting in the products.

    2. Re:Great way to hide by PMuse · · Score: 2, Interesting

      If the contamination screwed up the law enforcement customers' tests, I wonder what other customers' tests it screwed up. Does the vendor sell these swabs to hospitals, for example?

      --
      "We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
    3. Re:Great way to hide by TempeTerra · · Score: 2, Funny

      Please sit down, I have some difficult news for you. The test results have come back and it seems the man you knew as your father was not your biological father. DNA testing shows that your true father was a middle aged german woman, possibly with a congenital heart condition. I know this must come as a shock to you.

      --
      .evom ton seod gis eht
  3. It's clear what this means by PapayaSF · · Score: 2, Funny

    Obviously there's a woman on the cotton swab assembly line who leads a secret life of crime!

    --
    Q: What does the "B." in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for? A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot
    1. Re:It's clear what this means by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      OJ didn't do it!

    2. Re:It's clear what this means by BrokenHalo · · Score: 2, Informative

      OJ didn't do it!

      For the benefit of the idiot who moderated the parent post offtopic: OJ got off primarily because forensic evidence was grossly mishandled, leading to its inadmissibility in court. (IANAL, but I am qualified in forensics.) The comment might be boring or unfunny, but not wholly offtopic.

  4. Sherlock Holmes by Toe,+The · · Score: 2, Insightful

    "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth."

    1. Re:Sherlock Holmes by Rayban · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Aliens did it?

      --
      æeee!
    2. Re:Sherlock Holmes by MrNaz · · Score: 4, Funny

      I suspect a highly secretive and powerful organization known only as the GNAA.

      Yours truly,
      Slashdot Troll.

      --
      I hate printers.
    3. Re:Sherlock Holmes by NewbieProgrammerMan · · Score: 2, Funny

      Inconceivable!

      --
      [b.belong('us') for b in bases if b.owner() == 'you']
    4. Re:Sherlock Holmes by assert(0) · · Score: 2, Insightful

      "once you eliminate the fictional, whatever remains, no matter how mundane, must be actual"

      --
      (founded 95,000,000 yrs ago, very space opera)
    5. Re:Sherlock Holmes by arth1 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Sherlock Holmes is fictional.

      No shit, Sherlock!

      Holmes being fictional doesn't imply that the principles found in Conan Doyle's books aren't valid.

      Whether a real person said something or a real person wrote that a fictional person said something doesn't change the wisdom of what was said, does it?

      There are plenty of "laws" that I find useful that stem from fiction, including TANSTAAFL, Hanlon's Razor and even one or two grains of wisdom from that old fictional anthology about the Palestinian guy.

    6. Re:Sherlock Holmes by arth1 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      You're the one who defers to authority if you think that what an author says is less valid than what someone in authority says.
      Me, I prefer to judge what was said and not who said it.

  5. Re:CSI to the rescue by MichaelSmith · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mega criminal mind

    The handler of swabs really is a serial killer.

  6. Re:CSI to the rescue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's a new spin off!

    CSI: You're Doing It Wrong

  7. Re:CSI to the rescue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I'm glad that they didn't find the woman who's DNA it is. After all, she would have been severely punished for something that she had absolutely no idea about.

    I'm amazed that there was the presence of mind to check the suppliers!

    Although, this would be a great "thin-blue-line" skit.

  8. This is actually pretty scary by saiha · · Score: 4, Insightful

    But ... but ... CSI, computers and experts are always right! You mean they actually have to do investigations instead of blind trust?

    I wonder how much hard evidence they discarded because they "knew" it was this same woman?

    1. Re:This is actually pretty scary by sumdumass · · Score: 5, Insightful

      That's a good question. Cops aren't really all that bright, they are methodical and when applied properly, it gets the job done but they aren't exactly the smartest group of people. It's entirely possible that a lot of evidence and/or leads have been discarded or neglected because of this.

      Before anyone flames me for stating that cops aren't the brightest of the bunch, when doing science it's often the case where a sample of something is tested before it it treated with the substance being tested. These provide baselines for comparative results and it isn't uncommon for them to be randomly done throughout the course of the experiments because you need a control. Now, if they were the slightest bit intelligent in the subject, they would test raw material periodically to ensure it wasn't contaminated in the same ways they shoot and clean their own guns periodically to ensure they are ready for use. This entire mysterious woman contamination could have been caught before it ever effected one crime scene if something was periodically done to validate the test equipment they are using. Instead, they treat it with less suspicion then a flashlight and just assume that it works as advertised instead of "checking the batteries" every once in a while. Doesn't seem to bright to me.

    2. Re:This is actually pretty scary by EdIII · · Score: 5, Insightful

      How about how scary it would have been for the woman? Just imagine if the government got a hold of her DNA in a few years as part of some new Not-Really-Totalitarian-Fascist-Plot-We-Are-Really-Your-Friend program to grab DNA data for massive profiles of their citizens? She gets handed her ID card back and then picked up by the police a few hours later as the databases are furiously matching old crimes to new citizen data. She has no idea what is going on, just that they state they have DNA evidence of her involved in crimes all over the EU.

      Considering how much the police and the courts blindly trust all the data coming from forensic laboratories, she would be well and truly fucked.

    3. Re:This is actually pretty scary by grim-one · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Do you really think the same people are doing the detective work (collecting swabs) as are doing the DNA testing (working in the lab)? It's the scientists in the back rooms getting lazy. The good thing about police departments is once they find an issue, they take steps to avoid it in future.

    4. Re:This is actually pretty scary by Animaether · · Score: 4, Insightful

      she would be well and truly fucked because apparently all cops are stupid idiots who just go "the computer says it was you, so we're not even going to bother asking you that question you seen on TV - you know, the one going 'where were you on the night of', or even gather evidence for a solid care or present that evidence to a judge - we're just going to lock you up, for life, right away".

      oh wait. that's not how that stuff happens in any reasonable nation.

      In fact.. -because- that's NOT how that stuff happens is that they realized there's gotta be something going on with the swabs themselves.. as opposed to, say, the DNA lab handling them. Or that the same woman really -was- involved in the actual crimes themselves.

      I know it's popular to say that DNA evidence is being used to lock people up left and right, but very few cases -hinge- on that DNA evidence (some exceptions are e.g. rape cases where DNA from a sperm sample collected is pretty strong evidence that moves the question of "did the woman even have sex with that man?" to "was the sex that she had with that man a case of sexual violation?")

      That's not to say that I'm in favor of a building a DNA database with everybody's samples in them - but to make it seem like it will auto-jail people is naive in all but the strangest nations where you probably wouldn't get much of a due process regardless of DNA tests being involved or not.

    5. Re:This is actually pretty scary by AJWM · · Score: 4, Insightful

      oh wait. that's not how that stuff happens in any reasonable nation. [emphasis added]

      Yes, well, that's the catch. Are there any? Remember, they're all run by politicians.

      --
      -- Alastair
    6. Re:This is actually pretty scary by PitaBred · · Score: 4, Interesting

      The police actively don't hire people that are too smart. Which scares the shit out of me.

    7. Re:This is actually pretty scary by Firehed · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Well, I'd like to think that the defense (had it gotten to that stage) would have made the connection that the woman being charged for two dozen random and unconnected crimes works in a Q-tip factory and that maybe, just maybe, she coughed on a box along the way.

      --
      How are sites slashdotted when nobody reads TFAs?
    8. Re:This is actually pretty scary by artor3 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Imagine an even worse scenario... the Totally-Not-Fascist DNA database already exists and has her DNA in it at the time this first started. Disproving 20 crimes would probably be easy for her, as a solid alibi to one would call into question the rest. But if it were a single crime, there's no way she'd get out of it unless she were lucky enough to have an alibi on that one specific day.

      But hey, no worries, the innocent have nothing to hide!

    9. Re:This is actually pretty scary by EdIII · · Score: 5, Insightful

      she would be well and truly fucked because apparently all cops are stupid idiots

      I never said or implied that. "Blind trust" was the word I used which indicates negligence, and not stupidity.

      "the computer says it was you, so we're not even going to bother asking you that question you seen on TV - you know, the one going 'where were you on the night of', or even gather evidence for a solid care or present that evidence to a judge - we're just going to lock you up, for life, right away".

      Unfortunately, that does happen quite often. There are plenty of men that have been released from prison after 10-20 years for precisely just that.

      oh wait. that's not how that stuff happens in any reasonable nation.

      That's meaningless. I find it hard to categorize any of the actions of the U.S, Canada, U.K, France, Australia, etc. as reasonable. Most people don't, or have you not read most of the posts on Slashdot? In an unreasonable nation they would not need a computer in the first place. Your guilty only because it serves the purpose of somebody that wants you out of the way for whatever reason.

      In fact.. -because- that's NOT how that stuff happens is that they realized there's gotta be something going on with the swabs themselves.. as opposed to, say, the DNA lab handling them. Or that the same woman really -was- involved in the actual crimes themselves.

      Gotta? Really? As in, for sure? Fo Shizzle?

      The investigating officers don't "gotta" do anything. The only choice they have is to 100% rely on the veracity of the findings by their forensic technicians. Anything less puts the whole system in doubt which greatly hampers any investigations by the officers.

      When faced with forensic evidence across many crime scenes I don't find it reasonable that the vast majority of investigating officers will be second guessing the findings to figure out how they may be wrong. More likely, they will try to construct a "reality" that fits the findings. That is the danger.

      Once it leaves the investigating officers hands, it reaches the courts. The prosecutors don't give two shits about the defendant, the victims, or the truth. They only care about ONE THING, AND ONE THING ONLY. That is, "Can I get a conviction?". I highly doubt any prosecutor has ever thought long and hard about the veracity of any of the evidence in front of them that they are using. As far as the other side, "discredit, discredit, discredit".

      Prosecutors and Politicians have one thing in common. They are both whores. In fact, good prosecutors turn into Politicians, and the vast majority of Politicians started as lawyers anyways. Their jobs are not to find the truth, but to bend the truth to whatever agenda they are trying to accomplish. Cynical, I know....

      The problem here is the forensic technicians. Every single one of them needs to be fired. Not only could this woman have been at risk, but possibly many others as they clearly did not take the time to do proper science in any, way, shape or form. A lot of victims probably lost out as well since if they could not be competent in the bare fundamentals, what leads us to believe they did not miss huge amounts of evidence?

      ALL of the evidence this lab produced is suspect going back at least as far as the first sample was taken in this case. That opens the flood gates for lawyers to get convictions turned over based on this negligence alone. Certainly new trials where the laws allow it.

      I realize you are coming to the defense of the authorities here, but this is indefensible. Investigating officers and the courts cannot afford to ever second guess the technicians, so when something like this happens it is perfectly reasonable for people like me to suspect that innocent people have been made victims.

      Keep in mind, this was across many laboratories

    10. Re:This is actually pretty scary by tftp · · Score: 4, Insightful

      How is her DNA getting on these cotton swabs, anyway?

      Earlier someone suggested sneezing/coughing, covering her mouth with a gloved hand, and then using the same gloved hand to pack swabs. Hard to avoid this unless she works in an enclosed suit (which is unlikely.)

      they might need to be hygienic in other applications

      Or not - I use them to clear soldered contacts, for example - couldn't care less about traces of some organic, they'd be all history after I dip the swab into some of our solvents (alcohols and acetone, for example.) Medical people simply sterilize everything before they use it on a patient. So this is an interesting case where highly sensitive biological test is performed without checking that the material is clean and without cleaning it. This may have something to do with the fact that the users here are not highly trained doctors and scientists (who are personally responsible for quality of results) but mere technicians who do the steps by the book but don't quite understand how the whole thing works, and maybe sometimes even don't care to know.

    11. Re:This is actually pretty scary by ushering05401 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      The police actively don't hire people that are too smart. Which scares the shit out of me.

      Intellectual outliers destabilize control structures.

      Being predictable to your teammates/backup under all circumstances is an essential part of performing a life and death job - whether performing undersea construction or policing the 'projects.'

      Having a tendency to come up with bright ideas under pressure is simply a liability in the world of street level law enforcement.

    12. Re:This is actually pretty scary by Ihlosi · · Score: 2, Insightful

      The police actively don't hire people that are too smart. Which scares the shit out of me.

      You're talking about US police. The requirements for aspiring police officers in Germany are significantly higher.

    13. Re:This is actually pretty scary by eltaco · · Score: 2, Insightful

      it's a good thing that a fuck-up like this happened on such a high profile international scale then. This has reminded everyone how unreliable DNA testing can be.
      this incident has raised major awareness.

      --
      It's not about fate, it's about character.
      there be no shelter here, the frontline is everywhere!
    14. Re:This is actually pretty scary by I+cant+believe+its+n · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Having a tendency to come up with bright ideas under pressure is simply a liability in the world of street level law enforcement.

      Hmm... I call bullshit, but I do this with a nice little story to soften the blow.

      When I was in the army (which used to be mandatory in my country), our units where made up of people from all walks of life. We had the rich and the poor, the bright and the slightly dim, in all four combinations.

      Whenever something dangerous happened, it allways involved someone less intelligent. Please note that I don't define "less intelligent" based on the actual incidents, but on obeservations made when living toghether as two companies for almost a year.

      These people forgot to unload their weapons, fired from behind the line during moving live fire training, repeatedly managed to throw grenades which had not been properly handled so they did not explode and had to be detonated by others. Several of them managed to leave behind their own AK5 with a full magazine of live amunition inserted for the public to find.

      I saw no potentially deadly situations caused by people with high IQ. The smart people on occation whined about illogical orders, but they always understood when not to "fuck around", i.e. during live fire.

      High IQ is only a problem when it is missing. A lack of impulse control and short attention span is a problem.

      --
      She made the willows dance
    15. Re:This is actually pretty scary by Ihlosi · · Score: 2, Informative
      Part of the training would be to tell them: If you cough or sneeze, and touch your mouth with your gloved hand, you then leave the production line immediately, taking any materials with you that could have been contaminated, destroy them, desinfect your hands, and put on fresh gloves.

      If you have a process to keep things sterile, then you would not just have everyone handling the things wear gloves, but also surgical masks. It doesn't make much sense to have one without the other.

    16. Re:This is actually pretty scary by meerling · · Score: 2, Insightful

      maybe for the cops survival, but what about ours?

    17. Re:This is actually pretty scary by Ihlosi · · Score: 4, Insightful
      A lack of impulse control and short attention span is a problem.

      Simply put: ADHD and assault rifles don't mix.

    18. Re:This is actually pretty scary by BobReturns · · Score: 3, Interesting
      The worst part of that article is this statement:

      Judge Dorsey ruled that Mr. Jordan was not denied equal protection because the city of New London applied the same standard to everyone: anyone who scored too high was rejected.

      Because this statement makes just as much sense:

      Judge Dorsey ruled that Mr. Jordan was not denied equal protection because the city of New London applied the same standard to everyone: anyone who was foreign was rejected.

      That judge needs a new job fast.

    19. Re:This is actually pretty scary by sumdumass · · Score: 2, Insightful

      It could be entirely possible that the same police doing the collecting is also doing the testing. Perhaps not on the samples they collected themselves but testing other people's samples. Many of the lab technicians are or could be field certified and full blow cops to boot.

      The problem that links this to the cops is that they create the procedures for collecting the evidence. If they aren't periodically sending blank samples in, then things like this happen. DNA, like Blood type evidence was originally supposed to be exculpatory evidence. It was supposed to say, the DNS of the semen doesn't match the suspect so it wasn't him. This was the same as the suspect is O negative and the blood at the crime scene was A positive so it wasn't him. When they changed from an "it couldn't be this guy" to an "it has to be this guy", the necessity for testing the control became real but no was smart enough to realize that and do it.

      So yea, I still blame the cops and blame it on their barely average intelligence.

    20. Re:This is actually pretty scary by jabithew · · Score: 4, Funny

      It took a lot of conversation to reach this insight.

      --
      All intents and purposes. Not intensive purposes.
    21. Re:This is actually pretty scary by jimthehorsegod · · Score: 2, Informative

      Erm. I'm going to take a shot at this. The word you were looking for was affected, not effected. As indeed the linked definition should have made clear you. I can't be bothered to post links to the definitions of those words, but you know where to look..

    22. Re:This is actually pretty scary by Culture20 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Nothing less than bunny-suits. Sloughed skin cells have DNA too.

    23. Re:This is actually pretty scary by Dun+Malg · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Having a tendency to come up with bright ideas under pressure is simply a liability in the world of street level law enforcement.

      Bullshit. I'd love to hear you explain how this might possibly be the case. Give my a plausible hypothetical situation.

      In reality, people capable of sophisticated intelligent thought can't stand driving around in a car mostly doing nothing for 8 hours a day. They're trying to hire people that are less likely to quit.

      --
      If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
    24. Re:This is actually pretty scary by Hurricane78 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Being predictable to your teammates/backup under all circumstances is an essential part of performing a life and death job - whether performing undersea construction or policing the 'projects.'

      Which, in reality, never works, because then they are too stupid to predict their teammates anyway. :P

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
    25. Re:This is actually pretty scary by msouth · · Score: 2, Funny

      Maybe the judge was just unable to get past this question:

      "If you're so smart, Mr. Jordan, why weren't you smart enough to intentionally score low enough to get the job?"

      --
      Liberty uber alles.
    26. Re:This is actually pretty scary by ultranova · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Obviously he didn't manage the boredom of his current job, since he was looking for a new one.

      --

      Forget magic. Any technology distinguishable from divine power is insufficiently advanced.

    27. Re:This is actually pretty scary by Scrameustache · · Score: 2, Interesting

      The police actively don't hire people that are too smart. Which scares the shit out of me.

      You're talking about US police. The requirements for aspiring police officers in Germany are significantly higher.

      They only let in ubermensch?

      --

      You can't take the sky from me...

  9. Sigh by The+MAZZTer · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Is it really too much to ask for a SERVER at the other end of that hyperlink?

    nyud.net doesn't seem to have it cached, neither does Google. And MirrorDot is no help at all:

    Presently sustaining 0 parallel Slashdottings. Far out!

    Are there any newer slashdot caching tools I don't know about? Specifically one that has this article?

    1. Re:Sigh by tick-tock-atona · · Score: 5, Informative

      http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7341360.stm Until that server comes back up, here is an article from a year ago about the case. Makes for hilarious reading now!

    2. Re:Sigh by complete+loony · · Score: 4, Informative

      Here's the wikipedia page about the case. I think the original source of the news is in German though.

      --
      09F91102 no, 455FE104 nope, F190A1E8 uh-uh, 7A5F8A09 that's not it, C87294CE no. Ah! 452F6E403CDF10714E41DFAA257D313F.
  10. Always state your assumptions by alextheseal · · Score: 5, Funny

    First thing I was taught in my high school class on problem solving. Always state your assumptions, right underneath stating your explicit goal. We were also taught that if you start running into dead ends, circle back to your assumptions and review them critically to see that they are 1) all inclusive, and 2) actually true. Oh, and never use contaminated cotton swabs. I think that was day two.

    1. Re:Always state your assumptions by smaddox · · Score: 4, Interesting

      It reminds me of early MOSFET technology. No one could get MOSFET's to work on the same level of BJT's because there was horrible leakage in the gate. After several years it became apparent that the gate oxide was contaminated by sodium ions that carried current through the gate.

      (Disclamer: This story was relayed to me by one of my professors. I'm not sure how accurate it is.)

    2. Re:Always state your assumptions by legirons · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Oh, and never use contaminated cotton swabs. I think that was day two.

      Tell that to the Manchester police, who used swabs that had been stored in alcohol to test alcohol-levels in drivers...

    3. Re:Always state your assumptions by MattskEE · · Score: 2, Informative

      That's quite possible, contamination of the gate oxide with various ions is a big issue with MOSFETs. Sodium ions in particular tend to be rather common in the air, so they caused a lot of problems. If it's particularly contaminated then you can't make enhancement-mode ("normally-off") devices, because the charges stored in the oxide lowers the threshold voltage below 0V. So to turn it off, you need a negative voltage, which is much less convenient than just having ground and a positive voltage.

      In a small cleanroom at my university, just a simple one for the device processing classes, the lab manager said that in the past some students had opened a window because it was very hot in the room with the oxidation and doping ovens. Now it just so happens that the Pacific Ocean is about 200 yards from this window, so we have *lots* of sodium in the air. It allegedly took months before the sodium fully dissipated, so the mosfets that students made were poor-quality until the sodium levels dropped.

  11. What?? by EdIII · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wait... Are you bitching that you can't read the article? As in, you wanted to read the article before making a post?

    I feel... like I've seen a unicorn or something...

    1. Re:What?? by dunkelfalke · · Score: 2, Funny

      virgin, virgin :-b

      --
      "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever" -- David St. Hubbins, Spinal Tap
  12. Bad Slice by Frosty+Piss · · Score: 2, Funny

    This guy is using Slicehost for his blog or whatever. Apparently, he didn't pay for a big enough slice.

    --
    If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
  13. Prawo Jazdy by lobiusmoop · · Score: 5, Funny

    This sounds similar to the case of Ireland's most reckless driver.

    --
    "I bless every day that I continue to live, for every day is pure profit."
    1. Re:Prawo Jazdy by SEE · · Score: 2, Funny

      Well, that's only to be expected. The British never partitioned Poland.

  14. Real life is slow... by incognito84 · · Score: 3, Funny

    It took them eight years to find out what CSI could have found out in one episode! Reality is so unrealistic.

  15. Prawo Jazdy by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    This reminds me of the "Prawo Jazdy" story. The Irish police were looking for this dude "Prawo Jazdy" who accumulated a very large number of speeding tickets. He kept committing infractions all across Ireland but always got away whenever he was stopped by giving a different address each time. They thought they had a supercriminal fugitive speeder on their hands until someone noticed that his name was Polish for "driver's license".

  16. I knew biotech would lead to this! by seebs · · Score: 5, Funny

    We should NEVER have developed human-cotton hybrids.

    --
    My blog: http://www.seebs.net/log/ --- My iPhone/iPad app: http://www.seebs.net/seebsfrac/
  17. Re:CSI to the rescue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm pretty sure that there'd be about 96 billion ways to disprove each individual charge.

  18. negative controls?? by fatray · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Police labs are incredibly sloppy. You have to either have negative controls or some sort of validation or acceptance testing on your chemicals and supplies. They have all of these chain-of-custody rituals, but then they use supplies from Wal-Mart.

    1. Re:negative controls?? by MichaelSmith · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Police labs are incredibly sloppy. You have to either have negative controls or some sort of validation or acceptance testing on your chemicals and supplies. They have all of these chain-of-custody rituals, but then they use supplies from Wal-Mart.

      In the Jayden Leskie case the lab which searched for DNA on the victims body detected the DNA of an unrelated rape victim. Samples from the owner of the DNA had been processed by the same lab earlier in the same day.

    2. Re:negative controls?? by networkzombie · · Score: 2, Informative

      I work with a lot of labs and the errors are always caused by the lab technician. Controls and variances are standard procedure to identify Wal-Mart grade results. From my experience, the less you pay a lab tech, the more mistakes they make, but there are exceptions, like trying to find an honest cop. I'm sure there's one or two, maybe.

  19. Could happen to anyone... by paulkingnz · · Score: 3, Insightful

    If you worked in a clothing store and folded all the clothing and then later a murder victims clothing had your DNA on it then you're done aren't you! Circumstantial evidence is a bad thing.

    1. Re:Could happen to anyone... by AK+Marc · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Circumstantial evidence is a bad thing.

      Almost all evidence is circumstantial. Nearly all trials contain *only* circumstantial evidence. Oh, and witnesses are generally less reliable than circumstantial evidence...

  20. APB by bobbuck · · Score: 5, Funny

    All points bulletin: be on the lookout for woman with extremely clean ears!

  21. Question by Av8rjoker · · Score: 2, Interesting

    How the hell did this woman's DNA get on ALL of these cotton swabs?

  22. Paging George Kaplan by agrippa_cash · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I'd hate to be that woman. In fiction it's Hitchcock but in real life it would be Kafka (unless she is guilty AND works in a cotton swab factory).

  23. Re:thats an interesting defence by Mr.+Slippery · · Score: 3, Interesting

    So how do you explain your dna at the crime site?

    I don't have to explain my DNA being at the crime scene, I have to explain DNA that matched mine being at the lab.

    You took a sample of my DNA. You took it to the lab. Please prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you didn't screw up and contaminate a sample somewhere with my DNA.

    Furthermore, spurious DNA matches are not as improbable as cops and prosecutors like to suggest.

    DNA is lousy forensic evidence, and should be used only for exoneration.

    And the scary thing is that other forensic "science" is even worse.

    --
    Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | my blog
    You cannot wash away blood with blood
  24. control experiments by speedtux · · Score: 2, Interesting

    That's why scientists use double blind experiments and control experiments. So, with every cotton swab taken from a crime scene, forensic labs should get one or more "blank" ones to test, without knowing which is which.

  25. Re:CSI to the rescue by dontmakemethink · · Score: 2, Funny

    The Coen brothers are set to do a CSI spin-off, Crime Scene Incompetence, sort of like Fargo meets Scary Movie.

    I wish I wasn't kidding, that would be a riot!

    "Officer Grissom, are you concerned about the security of... your shit?"

    --

    War as we knew it was obsolete
    Nothing could beat complete denial
    - Emily Haines
  26. Q & A..... by IHC+Navistar · · Score: 2, Interesting

    One of the few instances where an answer is found out BEFORE the question is asked.....

    Answer: "It now turns out that contaminated cotton swabs might be responsible for this highly unusual investigation." .....And now the question:

    How, exactly, did the DNA get *onto* the swab in the first place?

    --
    Knowing Google's lust for data collection, the Soviet Union is still alive and well inside the psyche of Sergey Brin....
  27. What about her accomplice? by RDW · · Score: 5, Funny

    In other news, Irish police, working on the theory that such a well-travelled criminal may have been been provided with transport by an accomplice, have apparently identified her driver:

    http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/frontpage/2009/0219/1224241418104.html

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7899171.stm

  28. Police evidence handling by dugeen · · Score: 2, Insightful

    This issue shows up the dangers of allowing the police to control the whole DNA evidence process - gathering and analysis. It needs to be transferred to an impartial third party pronto.

  29. Re:CSI to the rescue by mrboyd · · Score: 5, Funny

    The truth is she's a very smart serial killer who managed to get herself hired at the coton swab factory with the sole intention of contaminating them with her DNA so that if caught she could use it to get any trial against her dismissed... brilliant!

  30. the answer is..... by viralMeme · · Score: 2, Insightful

    "How, exactly, did the DNA get *onto* the swab in the first place?"

    How about looking in the factory where they made the contaminated cotton swabs. And presumably the PCR method is so sensitive that it picks up the merest trace element.

  31. I always thought... by kcdoodle · · Score: 4, Funny

    Doesn't cotton have DNA?

    I always think that when they take a swab on CSI.

    CSI_Stokes - "Sir, I am afraid to tell you this, but, ... YOU are a COTTON plant."

    --

    - I live the greatest adventure anyone could possibly desire. - Tosk the Hunted
  32. Re:CSI to the rescue by aliquis · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yeah, that's why I leave my semen in every room I every visit, and on every person I meet.

  33. Re:CSI to the rescue by MoralHazard · · Score: 5, Insightful

    You're probably right, but I think the OP's point stands, nonetheless. A non-citizen, possibly lacking the right language skills, and maybe not the most sophisticated person in the world, might get railroaded. In the US, at least, juries tend to give overwhelming weight to scientific or expert testimony of any kind, regardless of how certain or flawed the science is. Even if not, that woman's life would still go to hell the minute the cops found her.

    Police and the scientific method are like politicians and economic theory: They talk about the principles, they often appear to use and apply the academic insights, but they tend to throw anything out that doesn't match their pre-existing bias, without a second thought.

    I'm not saying that all cops just think "The cuffs are on her: Therefore, she must be guilty." But police work tends to reward and glamorize a dogged pursuit of a conclusion based on a hunch. If a scientific researcher:

        * becomes emotionally involved in the outcome of his or her work, developing a substantial personal need to see it succeed, AND
        * eschews open, independent peer review and only seeks collaborative opinions from people likely to sympathize with the researcher, generally,

    it's a recipe for disaster--cold-fusion, antigravity, perpetual motion machines, etc. Academia has a LOT of braking mechanisms to prevent bad science from getting to the publishing stage, and more mechanisms designed to suppress whatever happens to slip through. Police departments have far fewer checks.

    Historically, bad police work hasn't carried much of a risk to the cops who did it--you could railroad a poor, ignorant, minority defendant on a sensational charge without much worry that he would somehow exonerate himself, later. That's starting to change (Project Innocence being the big example), but old attitudes and methods are deeply ingrained in police culture, and won't change quickly.

    Anyway, the point is, that these cops devoted hundreds of police and several years of investigations to this case--millions of dollars in costs. But since police labs don't try to have independent outsiders replicate and repeat their experiments, nobody caught this before it turned into a circus.

  34. Article in Speigel by Jumperalex · · Score: 2, Informative
    --
    If you can't be good, be good at it!
  35. Re:CSI to the rescue by aix+tom · · Score: 4, Informative

    Oh, it can still be perfectly sterile.

    Sterilizing something, that is killing off everything on and in it that lives, is pretty easy.

    But completely removing DNA and other particles isn't. There could still be DNA particles from the person who picked the cotton in the cotton swabs.

    When you have a little cell in the swab, there is no easy way to figure out if that is a human cell or a cotton cell, and remove all human cells.

    And there *definitely* still is cotton DNA in the cotton swab.

  36. Re:CSI to the rescue by Poltras · · Score: 3, Funny

    CSI rule #3: do some pretty VB interface to reverse lookup the IP address 273.54.163.341

  37. Re:CSI to the rescue by KenRH · · Score: 2, Informative

    Actualy there is a process when making the sex-cells that mix the genes from the two chromosomes in the chromosome pair. So none of the chromosones in the semen is actually a direct copy of the ones in the rest of your body.

  38. Re:CSI to the rescue by JCSoRocks · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Officer Grissom, are you concerned about the security of... your shit?"

    Oh, you're talking about Crime Scene Incontinence?

    --
    You are using English. Please learn the difference between loose and lose; they're, there, and their; your and you're.
  39. Re:CSI to the rescue by JCSoRocks · · Score: 2, Funny

    There's a song about you and what you did to some poor captain's wife - http://www.paulandstorm.com/lyrics/the-captains-wifes-lament/

    --
    You are using English. Please learn the difference between loose and lose; they're, there, and their; your and you're.
  40. Re:CSI to the rescue by BarefootClown · · Score: 2, Insightful

    It's a new spin off!

    CSI: You're Doing It Wrong

    Isn't that all of them?

    --

    "Make it ten--I am only a poor corrupt official."
    --Captain Louis Renault (Claude Rains), Casablanca