Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft Asks Fed For Bailout
snydeq writes "Microsoft requested on Tuesday some $20 billion in bailout funds from the federal government, claiming that as the company controls an overwhelming share of the OS market, it is too big to fail. Low adoption rates for Vista, the ensuing ad campaign trying to convince people that they really do like Vista, and the increased need for development resources to rush Windows 7 to market to make people forget about Vista have necessitated the bailout, the company said. 'We want to make it absolutely clear that this is not a crisis of mismanagement,' said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer in a prepared statement. 'This is simply a crisis of dollars — a crisis of not having enough dollars coming our way.'"
just look at the link! http://www.infoworld.com/article/09/04/01/13NF-microsoft-April-Fools_1.html
Thanks to the bailout, 2009 is clearly the year of Windows on the desktop.
-1 British
This is by far the best april fools story posted today. I almost fell for it!
Today it's just useless.
Today?
In a press release on Wednesday, Mr. Taco, the head of the online news site Slashdot, announced that the website had run out of stories.
In a twitter based inquiry to take place tomorrow. congressmen are expected to ask Mr. Taco if he drove his own Internets to Washington DC.
An anonymous source within the White House quoted President Obama as saying that "Things are tough. They may have to make do with LOLcats for a while."
...think how much they have had to spend on chairs over the years.
You appear to be assuming that people click the links...
Face with an ever increasing mountain of debt, the US Government today has asked Microsoft for a bailout. Under the terms of the bailout, Microsoft Windows licenses will be exchanged with holders of Treasury Bonds to help the USA reduce its debt.
The Chinese Government expressed great interest in the deal. "We were thinking about using Linux, but knowing that we now have the rights to sell 5 billion copies of Microsoft products allows us to settle the debt the Americans have with us, and helps us become a software super power." Under the terms of the new arrangement, every house in China will receive their choice of Visual Studio Team System, Windows Server, or a lot of games.
This is my sig.
US Representatives today roundly criticized Microsoft for paying a $20 million bonus to Jerry Seinfeld for his work on the Vista ad campaign. "He doesn't even deserve Microsoft's money," one Congressman reportedly said, "let alone the taxpayer's."
Funny, that. Just yesterday you were claiming it's April 1st when it was really March 31st. Stop living in the future, man!
Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
Nobody is going to get all excited and upset about this bailout. All you need to know is that it's Microsoft's idea, and suddenly you're unable to care.
Perhaps you have a city ordinance which specifies such a thing. I live in Backwoods, Nowhere, and such ordinances don't apply here. I may seek my amusement whenever and wherever I wish. Hell, I can wait til next week to do my own April joke, and not worry about some silly rule about silly conduct.
"Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it." - Charlie Br
Did you catch it?
moran
is that an irish moron?
Today it's just useless.
You must be new here.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Well, continuing with my auto analogy, if Microsoft is the GM of the operating systems, that makes FOSS the VW microbus.
but I thought FOSS was sort of like M1 tanks, made of space-age materials, and packed full of sophisticated technology, modified to never break down.
are you mixing up your analogies?
-I only code in BASIC.-
Wouldn't that be (UTC) +1 British?
512 MB RAM, 20 GB disk, 200 GB transfer, five datacenters. $19.95/month.
Noon?
Even I think that's a bit harsh. Many days, I'm still sleeping at such an early hour.
It's always April 1st in the United States.
What?
You left out blow and hookers...
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
You forgot blackjack. Actually, forget blackjack.
Yeah, I know it's right in front of me, but how am I supposed to know what 13NF stands for?
Fnord.
True, but the blow would only be in the MVP rail car and the hookers would stop to ask you if you want to pay extra to upgrade your experience, and when you're done she would ask you to fill out a survey about your experience.
You can't legislate goodness. Let each to his own destiny, by will of his freely made choices.
April 1st last much longer than that in Redmond.
echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
Dear sir: the round hard thing with bark on it is a stick. You would feel better if you pulled it out of your ass. If you did this, you might lighten up a little and improve your chances of getting laid at some point. APRIL FOOLS!!! You are never going to get laid!!! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Just callin' it like I see it.
And in the USA we have Obama's teleprompter and Joe Biden. Cheers!
So, that's why people keep coming to Canada!
testing out my trending skills
Linux = M1, Hurd = Microbus. HTH, HAND. P.S. The original microbus is a fucking paragon of engineering, and anyone who says different doesn't understand time cube.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
You must be new here. (That's three AF comments I've found so far which are best-answered with this old saw. This is the first one by someone with a UID < half mine, though.)
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"