Slashdot Mirror
Spammers Say the Darndest Things
The Narrative Fallacy writes "Bill Sweetman has a tongue-in-cheek post about how a few years ago he started collecting some of the more outlandish and amusing email subject lines from the many thousands of spam emails he received promoting various 'solutions' related to his private parts. Sweetman, a Canadian internet marketeer now working for Tucows gets a guilty pleasure from the copywriting 'skills' of the spammers. 'Sometimes the writing is clever. Sometimes it is accidentally funny. And sometimes it's just plain bizarre.' Sweetman writes that it takes a certain twisted creative genius to make your spam message stand out from the rest. and gives us ten of his favorite spam subject lines as well as his would-be replies to the messages. Favorites spam subject lines include 'Small friend is for hiding, big friend is for showing off' and Sweetman's reply: 'Even if the product they are pitching works as promised, I still don't think I would be walking around the neighborhood showing off the results.'"
Thats to funny...
The rapture will come on a Sunday.
Psst ... hate to be the one to tell you, but it already happened. You got left behind.
Me, I didn't want to go in the first place, so no downside for me ...
http://www.spamusement.com/
Not really a webcomic, not really updated any longer, and I'm unsure if it's completely safe for work.
Like the author of the article, I too have been collecting the most poetic entries:
/cj
is what we've been calling it for some months now, here's a couple of recent favourites:
Reconstruct your male friend and you will love the changes.
You won't find even the traces of your small miserable and retarded friend in pants.
More strength, length, and pleasure with less efforts...
He temperate? of But. And fix be identical.
Which in 'we'll glints God. At injury TWISTED, pausing.
insecurity asks the wrong question irritation gives the wrong answer
...but I do NOT want to grow man-boobs!
[and my wife is already properly-shaped]
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
Throw it to her from the other room.
Here's some from my spam box...
It's better to be hung than to work with your tongue.
Women don't like it tender they need a major member.
The dimensions of your tool will grow to a duel.
The funniest spam message I ever saw had the subject header "Pound her 'til she finishes". I thought that was so funny I went and bought some Viagra from them.
Summation 2
simply because I received an email with the subject "McCain wants to invade your vagina".
Thats to funny...
... as you are to people with low SAT Verbal scores?
That one showed up in my in box once, advertising something that was claimed to increase the volume of one's ejaculation. The mental imagery is unmatched by any other spam I've received before or since.
I got a spam with a pretty poetic title yesterday: "The magic melody for your flute". I read it to my wife but she said she prefers the trombone... 8-|
Non-Linux Penguins ?
This iss your penis: 8--o
This iss your penis on drugs: 8=====O
The second one's still well under an inch on my monitor. That's nothing to shout about :-O
"Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
not news for nerds, nor is it stuff that matters.
Good people go to bed earlier.
There was a stretch where I was getting some spams whose subject lines were obviously being constructed: each consisted of a short phrase followed by a single unrelated (and clearly randomly selecte) word. One of them came out "Girl giving head crash". Ever since, I've had an image of a comely female sucking on a disc drive :-)
Your god may be dead, but mine aren't!
That page also contains references such as the complete listing of subject lines from spammers caught in our blacklists over a few years' time.
Seeing all those subject lines on the same page, I'm reminded of what an AOL logon experience is like.
Just got one today titled "Extreme Cat Rape".
I guess that's where you go when normal cat rape just doesn't do it for you anymore.
OMGPONIES!!
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines