Spammers Say the Darndest Things

The Narrative Fallacy writes "Bill Sweetman has a tongue-in-cheek post about how a few years ago he started collecting some of the more outlandish and amusing email subject lines from the many thousands of spam emails he received promoting various 'solutions' related to his private parts. Sweetman, a Canadian internet marketeer now working for Tucows gets a guilty pleasure from the copywriting 'skills' of the spammers. 'Sometimes the writing is clever. Sometimes it is accidentally funny. And sometimes it's just plain bizarre.' Sweetman writes that it takes a certain twisted creative genius to make your spam message stand out from the rest. and gives us ten of his favorite spam subject lines as well as his would-be replies to the messages. Favorites spam subject lines include 'Small friend is for hiding, big friend is for showing off' and Sweetman's reply: 'Even if the product they are pitching works as promised, I still don't think I would be walking around the neighborhood showing off the results.'"

Comments

Obligatory webcomic link

[Wilson_6500]

http://www.spamusement.com/

Not really a webcomic, not really updated any longer, and I'm unsure if it's completely safe for work.

My collection

[Hew]

Like the author of the article, I too have been collecting the most poetic entries:

• Every woman that sleeps with you will wake up with the smile on her face.
• A big member rules - she is satisfied, you are proud.
• You can fulfill her request and become extremely blessed.
• Having an awesome friend in your pants is all you need in this life.
• A big instrument is a mortgage to success.
• When your tool is big, the rest of the world seems so little for you.
• Catch rapturous girls' looks on your zipper protuberance.
• The best and easiest way to improve your lovemaking is the improvement of your love instrument.
• Filll your bed partner's brain with the excitement and satisfaction.

You can hope in one hand...

[damn_registrars]

... And shit in the other, and see which fills up first. He closes by saying

I hope the days of the spammer are numbered. Until then, at least we have can enjoy a good laugh at their expense.

But yet almost nothing is being done to actually stop people from sending spam. You can filter and whitelist/blacklist all you want, but that won't stop spammers from spamming. At no point does a spammer likely ever consider whether or not their spam will reach your box; it is a trivial cost for them.

Spammers will continue spamming as long as they can make money doing it. And a spammer poetry contest is equally as useless for impeding that as filters.