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Chimpanzees Exchange Meat For Sex

the_therapist writes "A team from the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Germany, studied chimps in the Tai Forest reserve in Ivory Coast and discovered that chimpanzees enter into 'deals' whereby they exchange meat for sex. Among the findings are that 'male chimps that are willing to share the proceeds of their hunting expeditions mate twice as often as their more selfish counterparts.' They also found this to be 'a long-term exchange, so males continue to share their catch with females when they are not fertile, copulating with them when they are.'"

38 of 313 comments (clear)

  1. Wow by mc1138 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I need to head to the closest butchers shop!

    1. Re:Wow by schon · · Score: 3, Funny

      I need to head to the closest butchers shop!

      First, you might want to make sure that zoophilia isn't illegal in your state. :)

    2. Re:Wow by Chris+Burke · · Score: 4, Funny

      I need to head to the closest butchers shop!

      Before you drop too much on premium cuts, remember the article said the ones who gave meat gifts had twice as much sex. You might want to think about how much you have now and do the math before deciding if that's worth it. ;)

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    3. Re:Wow by Plutonite · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hello! Are you a mean person? You must be the mean person everybody's mother told them about when they were little. I'm going to scribble down in my slashdot diary, that slashdot devs have provided me with, that you are a mean person; so that I don't forget.

  2. Hmm by EkriirkE · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'd rather use MY meat for sex.

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    to 45 2F 6E 40 3C DF 10 71 4E 41 DF AA 25 7D 31 3F
    1. Re:Hmm by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      That's cool, but don't you want a partner?

  3. Obligatory by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  4. I wonder how well this would work.... by Daemonax · · Score: 3, Funny

    There is a vegetarian girl that I'm interested in. I wonder if I'd get sex in exchange for an offering of meat?

  5. Stuff rock stars by Centurix · · Score: 2, Funny

    Butchers get all the chicks.

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    Task Mangler
  6. Re:Same behavior in humans too by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Except the chimps don't seem to exhibit the signs of buyer's remorse.

  7. I thought sex WAS the exchange of meat... by GodfatherofSoul · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...at a high rate of give and take.

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    I swear to God...I swear to God! That is NOT how you treat your human!
  8. And by shellster_dude · · Score: 3, Funny

    All the hottest chimps get fat. Seems like a bad system to me.

  9. Re:Same behavior in humans too by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wrong.

    Marriage is so that human females can continue to be fed while no longer having to put out.

  10. Re:Bonobos by suricatta · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you ever find such a human society, can you let us know? Thanks.

  11. Re:Bonobos by Chris+Burke · · Score: 2, Funny

    If you ever find such a human society, can you let us know? Thanks.

    If websites that require a credit card don't count, then I'm still looking my friend. Still looking.

    --

    The enemies of Democracy are
  12. Monkey Business by Rollgunner · · Score: 2, Funny

    I always wondered where that phrase came from...

  13. They just have to very careful by memorycardfull · · Score: 4, Funny

    about exactly how they word their craigslist ad when they do it.

  14. Re:Damn by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Not living in their mom's basement.

  15. It's hard out here for a Chimp! by Essef · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... with apologies to Hustle and Flow.

  16. Let me guess... by hyades1 · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...Vegans exchange cucumbers and cheese tacos.

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    I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
  17. For human males, the key is to avoid Marriage trap by echtertyp · · Score: 3, Funny
    The BBC article is mostly interesting for how closely chimp behavior is to human behavior--who knew chimps were so much like us, socially?

    For us humans, the key thing (at least for males) is to avoid the marriage trap. Outside of marriage, the resources-for-nookie exchange holds true at market rates. Imbalances are corrected by the laws of microeconomics.

    But once locked in a marriage contract, a human male MUST provide resources under penalty of law, while the female is not obligated to do...anything. The predictable result is the epidemic of sexless marriages in the U.S. and other developed countries.

    So, just beware the marriage trap. It's like signing an oil futures contract where you're required to deliver oil at $12 a barrel, indefinitely. You'd be a fool to sign either a $12/bbl oil contract, or a marriage contract.

  18. Re:Damn by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Meat, not money. Meat.

  19. Re:Damn by fractoid · · Score: 2, Funny

    For the last time, kid, that was a charity worker not a hooker in a nurse outfit!

    --
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  20. Re:Same behavior in humans too by martinX · · Score: 3, Funny

    My theory was that marriage was invented by mobs of ugly men. Or maybe by alpha males that were just plain shagged out and wanted a reason to cut down on the number of wives.

    Either way, it works for me!

    --
    When they came for the communists, I said "He's next door. Take him away. Goddam commies."
  21. Re:NOT News . . . seen Bonobos by martinX · · Score: 3, Funny

    I thought being high up in the chess club was a worthy display of prowess. Seems it wasn't. Who knew?

    --
    When they came for the communists, I said "He's next door. Take him away. Goddam commies."
  22. Re:Same behavior in humans too by troll8901 · · Score: 5, Funny

    and there is really only one reason to take a girl out on a date....

    To bribe them to set you up with another girl?

  23. Re:Same behavior in humans too by julesh · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... I never did the club hunting thing ...

    You mean like this, right?

  24. Re:Same behavior in humans too by Plutonite · · Score: 2, Funny

    Last line was ugly. I meant to say:

    Congratulations! You are a gentleman. Join our exclusive club! We party on Saturdays, and only get intimate with people we really like!

  25. Re:Same behavior in humans too by F34nor · · Score: 3, Funny

    A slut sleeps with everyone, a bitch sleeps with everyone but you.

  26. Re:Same behavior in humans too by EmotionToilet · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hehehehe...I guess there are many more women lurking around slashdot than we originally thought.

    You mean there are two!?!?

  27. Touch my monkey! by StreetChip · · Score: 2, Funny

    Would you like to touch my monkey? Touch him! Touch my monkey!

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    LeoPolus Web Design: http://www.leopolus.com
  28. Re:Same behavior in humans too by sgt+scrub · · Score: 2, Funny

    Someone on /. claiming to have had sex with a female without providing meat? Sounds like there are some serious philosophical questions to be avoided in this thread.

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    Having to work for a living is the root of all evil.
  29. Re:Same behavior in humans too by SupremoMan · · Score: 2, Funny

    So prostitution IS the oldest profession on earth.

    Hardly, if there was meat involved then it would have to be hunter or fisherman.

  30. Re:Same behavior in humans too by sharp-bang · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's comments like this that lend a strong argument as to why the stereotype of geeks missing the punchline exists.

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    #!
  31. Re:Same behavior in humans too by commodore64_love · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's because they keep their women silent.

    Or maybe it's because female chimps are satisfied with what they have, instead of constantly demanding more and more like little bitchy princesses! (sigh). No I'm not bitter. I just have this gnawing pain in my gut until I can feel the bile rising-up into my mouth. Or maybe it's just indigestion. Anyone have a tic-tac?

    --
    "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - historian Evelyn Beatrice Hall
  32. Re:Same behavior in humans too by ErkDemon · · Score: 4, Funny

    And in breaking news, researchers have discovered that rich guys who regularly walk into bars and buy everyone drinks tend to make more friends, be surrounded by more friendly women, and consequently seem to get laid more often than those lone researchers who sit all alone in the darkest, emptiest corner of the bar all night clutching a single drink and taking research notes for their anthropology thesis without actually ever talking to anybody or even making eye contact - Dammit.

  33. Re:I always laugh.... by pnutjam · · Score: 2, Funny

    wrinkly...?

  34. Re:Same behavior in humans too by IndustrialComplex · · Score: 2, Funny

    Anyone have a tic-tac?

    That depends.

    How much sex will it buy me?

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