Slashdot Mirror
Better Living Through Nukes?
perkonis writes "So, you've got 23,000 nukes laying about and no one to use them on. What to do with them? Well, you blow up stuff for fun and profit. Some of the ideas range from good on paper (such as mining oil shale) to just downright bad (such as making a new Panama Canal). Making a big ditch by blowing up nukes — what could possibly go wrong?"
I always wanted to get back at John for that prank!
What about creating mutants?
"Radioactive waste is dangerous and toxic so we need a safe way of disposing of it without the possibility of it leaking into the ground. I propose pumping it into the ground."
Sell them to Iran, North Korea or whoever wants some and use the cash obtained to finance various economic stimulation packages. Then as soon as the money, gold, diamonds or whatever is in the bank have them self destruct via some CIA,NSA bit of trickery. Seen it in a James Bond film so it must be possible.
I don't get what the big deal is. How can they lead to healthy living? They don't exactly have a lot of nutritional value---just a smidgeon of vitamin C. Don't get me wrong; they are yummy and all---especially the hot house variety, with fewer seeds and the flavor...oh, the flavor is wonderful.
Wha? Oh. *N*ukes.
Sorry.
Life is short; think quickly.
Mutant bass? With lasers?
I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
Several years ago, the Brits published a study that even a small scale nuclear exchange would kick up enough crap in the atmosphere that it would cool the planet. Here's a way to get rid of a few nukes and stop global warming at the same time! Hey! You could call this... are you ready... Glow-ball cooling! Whaaaaat? You want me set to the damn things off with a match?
You must be new here. Stick around; I'm sure something dumber, more henious or dangerous will be posted soon - probably by a reader!
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to cook and dye some Easter eggs so I can leave them out for hours in the warn weather for kids to find tomorrow...
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
4th of July EVER!!!
You puncture a big hole in the earth's crust, and let the ocean flow in. You use the electrical output from the turbines to re-smelt the turbines (because they get coated with salt), and you use the steam as fresh water.
The good and new comes from no quarter where it is looked for, and is always something different from what is expected.
you have to implement all these schemes from orbit
its the only way to be sure
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
What if these results in some sort of mutant PETA/Greenpeace/Harbor monster?! It might protest us to death!
Can we do that to California?
If a wide enough opening is made in the mountains between California and other desert states would it bring good climate change? If Arizona, Nevada, etc could be made lush I'd nuke 'em.
I'd go on a Vegan diet but the delivery time from Vega is too long. --brownkitty
With all the hub-bub about "man made global warming" why not counter it with man made nuclear winter.
You mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Wouldn't that necessitate abandoning the so-called monogamous form of sexual relationship?
"I assumed blithely that there were no elves out there in the darkness"
To a geologist, this makes you sound about as stupid as the people who believe that California is going to fall off into the ocean the next time we have a large earthquake.
Hey. We can hope, can't we?
I hear that Somalia could use a few....errrrr...adjustments.
Friends don't let friends line-dance.
and I don't trust your people more than the russian people.
The Hungarian army couldn't take over Heathrow Airport, so that's understandable.
Oh, you thought I was American?
IANYourL. This post is my rambling, not legal advice. Do not rely on this post for any reason.
And here I was, about to use your profound insight to make life changing decisions. Pompous ass.
Lex? Is that you?
I suggest blowing all the ice in Antarctica to put more water into oceans to dissolve all that dangerous CO2 to keep it away from the atmosphere to stop the global warming and finally to avoid the melting of Antarctica.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. - Yogi Berra
Yes I can!
I think you found the one joke they forgot to include in Fallout 3.
So we get to naturally select out people who don't listen to warnings. Sounds like a good trait to be rid of.
Flamebait? Nope. I'm pro-global-warming, wanna know why? The world that the Dinosaurs knew was destroyed by global cooling. The carbon locked away by millions of years of fossil formation left the Earth vulnerable to the 'white earth' scenario, a fate which we very narrowly escaped a few times. Now we have the technology to liberate all that carbon and return the world to its pre-Cambrian state as a warm, lush paradise. Sure, a few coastal cities may need relocating but necessity is the mother of invention and hardship fosters ingenuity and all that.
Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
The Hungarian army couldn't take over Heathrow Airport, so that's understandable.
A lesser known fact is that they tried a few years ago, but are still waiting for their bags to arrive...
"Little does he know, but there is no 'I' in 'Idiot'!"
you fucking Hippie, get with the program.
1) USA = the über, super most awesome, can't do anything wrong, best fucking country in the world ... no USA === World
2) Any country outside of USA borders is full of animals living in straw huts
3) Russia is a special case, they somehow turned a straw hut into a beeping gizmo and send it to God so it could circle around the USA AKA World so we hate them the most.
4) Mhhh, I think I could get rid of 2) and 3) and just have 4 say, everybody outside of the USA is a TERRORIST. That explains the moderation above.
Clear now? I sure fucking hope so!