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Where's Your Coding Happy Place?
jammag writes "Cranking out code — your very best code — requires being in the optimal environment, muses developer Eric Spiegel. He explores the pitfalls and joys of the usual locales, cubicle, home, the beach. He claims he's done his best coding on an airplane. In the end, though, he suggests that the best environment is a matter of the environment inside yourself, your internal mood — and to hell with the cubicle or wherever. You have to be focused on quality, regardless of the idiot clients. It's all inside your mind. Where's your coding happy place?"
WRONG.
Black-as-hell coffee, bright moonlit night outside, but I'm stuffed in a windowless basement with no ventilation, using Emacs.
On Windows.
ME.
Yes, that's how far I'll go to counter one of you VI-loving lunatics.
Last post!
I'm at my most productive at 2am the night before the project is scheduled to go live.
I'm at my second most productive at 9am the following day while I'm patching the running code on the live system to fix what I didn't have time to test the night before.
Dang, dad, I am 35. Can't you write your COBOL some other way?
Best productivity is in India. Not sure if it's the food or what... but I am 4x as productive as in the US.
i love coding with my boss in my shoulder pseudo-auditing my code and constantly reminding me the project schedule...
WRONG.
Getting a blowjob with a gun to my head.
"I don't have to think. I only have to do it. The results are always perfect, but that's old news." - Meat Puppets
Lightly sweetened breakfast tea, rainy weather outside, window cracked with a brisk morning breeze...
...John Travolta singing to me, wearing nothing but a thong and a bottle of baby oil...
What? Oh, sorry, I got lost in your poetry and thought we were describing a romantic evening in San Francisco.
Perl. That's enough lines per day to rewrite every application in existence. Unfortunately, being perl none of them can be debugged, so he has to redo it again the next day.
I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
I'd Love to serve on a jury. However, I'm afraid I don't qualify to sit on a jury. You see, I'm a A-Hole with a brain.
So I get the summons, and show up ...
Judge: "Does anyone here know any of the parties involved in this matter?"
Me: "Why does it matter?"
Judge: "Dismissed"
Me: "I didn't say one way or the other"
Judge: "I said dismissed"
Me: "Yes, I heard, I'm just wondering why"
Judge: "I don't have to tell you"
Me: "No, but I'm sure all these people here want to know, especially now that I'm bringing their attention to it"
Judge: "Another word from you and I'll hold you in contempt"
Me: "How does being on FOX NEWS sound to you?"
Judge: "Bailiff, remove him please"
Me: "Don't Taze me bro"
Bailiff: .... ZAP
Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
*Giving* a blowjob with a gun to my head.
Sounds like my last blind date
WRONG
*Giving* a blowjob with a gun to my head.
RemoWilliams84, meet zarthrag. zarthrag, RemoWilliams84.
I'll expect the new kernel by Friday.