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Ubuntu 9.04 Released
Mohamed Zaian writes "Canonical, the commercial sponsor of Ubuntu, announced today that Ubuntu 9.04 Desktop Edition is free to download from Thursday 23 April. Also announced were the simultaneous releases of Ubuntu 9.04 Server Edition and Ubuntu 9.04 Netbook Remix (UNR). Ubuntu 9.04 Desktop Edition delivers a range of feature enhancements to improve the user experience. Shorter boot speeds, some as short as 25 seconds, ensure faster access to a full computing environment on most desktop, laptop and netbook models. Enhanced suspend-and-resume features also give users more time between charges along with immediate access after hibernation. Intelligent switching between Wi-Fi and 3G environments has been broadened to support more wireless devices and 3G cards, resulting in a smoother experience for most users."
Does it preload the "Gnome" menu yet, or do you still get that annoying pause when you first click on it?
Does the lovely dark Dusk theme work with Gnome 2.26?
Will it kill off hardware VIA graphics (HP 2133 netbook) like the last kernel upgrade, or does it now handle these properly as a third party binary blob?
Will it give me free beer and hookers?
Intratube Police: A .torrent? Why, this must be a pirated version of "ooh-bun-too", whatever that is. You, sir or madam, are a CRIMINAL and will be put in jail with RAPISTS and BABY KILLERS!
I'm not cool enough to have a
Yeah no one cares.
Which will undoubtedly be named Masturbating Monkey.
So the stability of a release is proportional to the campness of the name? Excellent, so the plan is...
1. Create a distro called Fluffy Fairy
2. ???
3. Profit!
There should be a way to tag individual posts as NSFW, not because of unsuitable content, but more because I look like a moron when I burst out laughing at comments like these in the middle of the office.
The software is still shitty, so its almost like it's still brown.
You mean the charges didn't stick?
The courts are rigged!
"Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
newer GCC?
Nope, they just added -O3 to the compile options :)
Summation 2
In a stunning public relations coup, Microsoft Corporation (NASDAQ: MNPLY) has successfully overshadowed today's release of Ubuntu Linux 9.04 "Jaunty Jubblies" by announcing its failed financials for a fourth quarter in a row and laying even more people off.
Microsoft announced new and expanded roles for remaining key executives as another several lesser, losing quitters deserted upper management. "It shows the fantastic opportunity available to everyone at Microsoft to climb seven or eight reporting levels up the org chart," said marketing marketer Steve Ballmer to pitchfork-wielding Wall Street analysts today. "If we haven't laid them off for making too much money or not kissing enough ass."
The Yahoo! deal is expected to go ahead. "We figure they'll go broke before we do. Probably." Mr Ballmer also plans to run the Yahoo! servers on Windows NT rather than FreeBSD after a similar change worked so well at Hotmail. "Some say synergy's another word for two plus two equals one, but you just have to make the value of one work for you."
Windows 7 betas have been greeted with remarkable positive press. "Of course, the betas preview the 'champagne and hookers' edition, which would be way too much for netbooks and explode users' brains. Imagine thinking those little things are computers! So we're releasing what we call Windows 7 Dumbass Edition. It lets you log in and look at the shiny. Even Spider Solitaire has the ribbon toolbar! And you can buy an upgrade to the version that runs programs! It lets you do that!" Dumbass Edition comes with pre-installed viruses to make the computer part of the Storm, Conficker and FBI botnets. "If you can't beat ’em, join ’em."
However, Microsoft has indicated to its press corps, Microsoft Completely Enderlependent Analysts, to ixnay on the evensay and highlight the job openings for work on Windows 8, firmly penciled in for a 2012 release. Windows 8 will be optimised for low-end 32-core systems with a mere 16 gigabytes of memory — 28 cores for the interface, 3 cores for the DRM and one core for everything else. "Seven is just so this year. I hear they'll get $DATABASE_FILESYSTEM done next release for sure!" said ZDNet marketing marketer Mary-Jo Enderle. "It'll be awesome!"
"I'm sure it'll be fine, fine," said Bill Gates, upping his hours at his charitable foundation and scheduling the sale of several more packages of Microsoft stock.
Larry Ellison of Oracle, who recently purchased Sun Microsystems, merely snickered, muttered "Java. OpenOffice." and let out a long and resounding laugh.
Mark Shuttleworth of Canonical, speaking from his castle on a crag high on a mountaintop in west London, was sanguine at Ubuntu's news being overshadowed. "I lost ten million dollars on Ubuntu last year. I'm losing ten million dollars on Ubuntu this year. I expect to lose ten million dollars on Ubuntu next year. At this rate, I'll be broke in ... sixty years."
http://rocknerd.co.uk
Torrents is illegal [sic]! Didn't the [MP|RI]AA teach you anything?
I am seeding at the moment, time to see what unlimited broadband really means.
Don't make your problems my problems!
I heard the name 'Bloated Behemoth' on some sitcom the other day, such an awesome name for the next release.
"If you like it better than Windows I'll eat my own ass."
I like it better than Windows. Do you need a napkin?
The Swedes have a lot of extra bandwidth now that they aren't pirating all day long.
Gentoobuntu?
Anybody want a peanut?
What about Misspelled Milipede instead?
Yeah, too bad they don't include any other themes, or any way to change it. Someone should look into that.
Hey, I finally got my first freak! Took you long enough!
No one Kares.
Thees ees Nelson Mandela, and I pronounce Ubuntu, "ooboontoo."