Slashdot Mirror
How To Have an Online Social Life When You're Dead
A wave of new companies are springing up to offer such things as virtual cemeteries, alerts to remind loved ones about the anniversary of your death, and even email services that send an alert to your sinful relatives in danger of being left behind when the Rapture carries you away. "People have a desire to perpetuate not only for themselves, but for their loved ones, the story of their lives, and technology has all these new great ways of doing that," said John McQueen, owner of the Anderson McQueen funeral home.
Just a simple flash game where a yeti can send my head flying with a spiked mace will suffice.
My work here is dung.
Maybe the U.S. Constitution can have a social life now.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. - Einstein
you could really creep out your enemys after you're gone, but you wouldn't be able to enjoy it.
still just knowing ahead of time. :-D
Based on this and the latest poll, I feel I should send my heartfelt sympathy to the recently bereaved.
is bad enough you have to filter through friend requests in facebook, now you have filter through dead people wanting to be your friend too?? wtf is wrong with that?
How do you kill that which has no life?
This site, mentioned in the article, is particularly hilarious. I like how the way they know the rapture has happened is based on if enough devout christians they've hired to login everyday don't. It'd be cute if those people just lost internet access and everything were sent out early... or would that cause the RAPTURE? ;)
For every problem, there is at least one solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
How dare you imply that the undead do not have a social life!!! Vampires are suave and sophisticated, indeed much more so than normally-lived people. They have a "von" in their name. They're educated. And they plan for the long term. To assert anything else is simply speciesist propoganda!
Bruce Perens.
The relevant question is: will these post-mortem emails have an unsubscribe link?
'Yearly reminder; Stingrays, NOT harmless.'
I'm feeling better..... really
No your not, your dead.
"TV, a medium as it is neither rare nor well done." Ernie Kovacs
I don't need all that, I'll just come back and haunt everyone.
To: My Stupid-ass Kin
From: Your Vengeful Relative
Subject: BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Dear Weaselly Bastards,
If you're reading this, I'm dead. Since I'm sure you're all feeling really bad about treating me so rotten (especially you, Uncle Phil, for not lending me 5 grand for that Camaro), but I'd like to take this opportunity to rub it all in by hiring this company to Internet stalk you forever. Every birthday, holiday and anniversary of my untimely demise, this company will send you insulting messages reminding you of how great I was, and how deficient you all were (excluding Cousin Sally, who always put out for me, oops, that was our little secret).
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
This is pretty old stuff. Just before I died I configured a server to send out updates of my status and opinions to various online sites like Fark and Slashdot. It even alters the content based on the site. For Fark, it takes into account my general state of decay and runs the algorythm to come up with just the right level of troll and anti-social behavior.
For Slashdot, it takes the measurements from my corpse and runs it through a similar algorithm that pulls in the date, the most recently updated wikipedia entry, and combines the information from "Define:" google searches and returns the result.
So far the results have been promising. My Fark Algorythm has succeeded in broadcasting just the right amount of vile comments to hook a few responders and my Slashdot Algorithm has reposted just the right amount of plagiarized wikipedia entries to earn me enough "Insightful/Informative" comments to earn me enough karma for a comforable after-net-life.
Don't think I've forgotten about power. I requested that I be burried next to Edward R. Murrow and that a few loops be placed around his grave. With a simple RSS feed to our current 'news' sites like Fox, CNN, etc. I think this server is set to run into the next millenium.
Out of modpoints but really liked a post? 1BDkF6TtmmeZ3yqXbz9yhdYVqRYnwFoXDj
What's wrong with a little daily reminder?
"To my darling wife... You haven't thought about me today at all, have you? Already hard at work on you next husband, I see? It's ok, you'll be joining me here soon enough, you heartless bitch"!
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
I'd say signing me up for a dating service posthumuously would be pointless, except that it might actually garner a lot of interest from goth girls and Twilight fans...
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
I fully intend to write some bots before I croak, just so I can creep people out -- get it to send txt msgs, tweets, facebook status updates -- the lot. Maybe even sperad rumours that my demise was greatly exaggerated...
In my experience, they last ten minutes. Less than that if you do your corpse run.
Your son is dead.
(Click here to stop receiving these notifications)
The revolution will not be televised... but it will have a page on Wikipedia
Unless a bad system admin loses your body and forgot to make backups.
I can see it now, "Mrs. Smith, I'm sorry to have to tell you that your beloved John has been formatted and then written over. Along with our heart felt condolences, please accept this virtual urn containing the error codes we encountered while trying to retrieve him..."
You have the right to remain sentient. If you give up the right to remain sentient, you will be elected to public office
Hello,
My name is Maybelle Mongumbo. I am a dead Nigerian widow with access to millions of dollars worth of bearer bonds and gold coins. I have spoken to god personally, and he assured me you were the person to help me transfer this money to the afterlife. First, I need you to send me you SS number, full name, birthdate, PIN, bank account information, and your mother's maiden name.
God bless you.
Life needs more saving throws.