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How To Have an Online Social Life When You're Dead

A wave of new companies are springing up to offer such things as virtual cemeteries, alerts to remind loved ones about the anniversary of your death, and even email services that send an alert to your sinful relatives in danger of being left behind when the Rapture carries you away. "People have a desire to perpetuate not only for themselves, but for their loved ones, the story of their lives, and technology has all these new great ways of doing that," said John McQueen, owner of the Anderson McQueen funeral home.

19 of 187 comments (clear)

  1. Well I Don't Want Anything WEIRD by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just a simple flash game where a yeti can send my head flying with a spiked mace will suffice.

    --
    My work here is dung.
  2. creep out your enemys by phrostie · · Score: 5, Funny

    you could really creep out your enemys after you're gone, but you wouldn't be able to enjoy it.

    still just knowing ahead of time. :-D

  3. bad enough by castironpigeon · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Bad enough we have all those dead bodies cluttering up meatspace. Now they'll be cluttering up cyberspace too!

    --
    mmmm...forbidden donut
    1. Re:bad enough by Red+Flayer · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Yeah, but in meatspace we can rely on decomposition, cannibalism, or fire to take care of the body clutter.

      Bits don't decompose, you can't eat them, and they don't burn. In cyberspace, bodies last forever.

      FOREVER

      --
      "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
    2. Re:bad enough by FatdogHaiku · · Score: 5, Funny

      Unless a bad system admin loses your body and forgot to make backups.

      I can see it now, "Mrs. Smith, I'm sorry to have to tell you that your beloved John has been formatted and then written over. Along with our heart felt condolences, please accept this virtual urn containing the error codes we encountered while trying to retrieve him..."

      --
      You have the right to remain sentient. If you give up the right to remain sentient, you will be elected to public office
  4. Re:Maybe by causality · · Score: 5, Insightful
    I apologize for the bad form of replying to myself, but I meant to add something.

    "People have a desire to perpetuate not only for themselves, but for their loved ones, the story of their lives, and technology has all these new great ways of doing that,"

    Sounds to me like they want to perpetuate the mourning process in order to assuage their own fear of death. I've seen people do some rather odd things because they, on some level, could not come to terms with their own mortality; this is tame compared to some. However, this may not be a gift to the loved ones at all; it very well may be a selfish burden. It's selfish because there is an (unstated) assumption in it that everyone's mourning process is the same and is compatible with this idea. Making assumptions like that about such personal matters seems to me like very poor taste. If that compatibility doesn't describe the bereaved then they may be placed in the unenviable position of disliking this service while at the same time feeling guilty about rejecting it. Besides, calling them "loved ones" implies that you and what you stood for are not so easily forgotten in their hearts and minds.

    I'm not saying this is necessarily a terrible idea, but I think it's rather unnecessary. Certainly it should be done with a great deal of forethought and an awareness of these potential problems.

    --
    It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. - Einstein
  5. ...wants to be your friend by sp3cialk79 · · Score: 5, Funny

    is bad enough you have to filter through friend requests in facebook, now you have filter through dead people wanting to be your friend too?? wtf is wrong with that?

  6. Problematic by BadAnalogyGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

    How do you kill that which has no life?

    1. Re:Problematic by princessproton · · Score: 5, Informative

      Shotgun blast to the head has always worked for me.

      --
      I'm always positive; it's my nature.
  7. Left Behind... by Improv · · Score: 5, Funny

    This site, mentioned in the article, is particularly hilarious. I like how the way they know the rapture has happened is based on if enough devout christians they've hired to login everyday don't. It'd be cute if those people just lost internet access and everything were sent out early... or would that cause the RAPTURE? ;)

    --
    For every problem, there is at least one solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
  8. Petty by Aphoxema · · Score: 5, Insightful

    My father just died on the 5th and I'm still torn over it, but the idea of... whatever the Hell this is supposed to be is just downright hilarious.

    I miss him and he'll forever be in my thoughts, I won't need reminders of when he died or an artificial ghost of him to haunt the internet with.

    --
    "Most people, I think, don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should they care about it?"
  9. The relevant question... by Burning1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    The relevant question is: will these post-mortem emails have an unsubscribe link?

    ...and if I click on it, will I get more spam?

  10. RE: Death by SinShiva · · Score: 5, Funny

    'Yearly reminder; Stingrays, NOT harmless.'

  11. Heh by MightyMartian · · Score: 5, Funny

    To: My Stupid-ass Kin
    From: Your Vengeful Relative
    Subject: BWAHAHAHAHAHA

    Dear Weaselly Bastards,

    If you're reading this, I'm dead. Since I'm sure you're all feeling really bad about treating me so rotten (especially you, Uncle Phil, for not lending me 5 grand for that Camaro), but I'd like to take this opportunity to rub it all in by hiring this company to Internet stalk you forever. Every birthday, holiday and anniversary of my untimely demise, this company will send you insulting messages reminding you of how great I was, and how deficient you all were (excluding Cousin Sally, who always put out for me, oops, that was our little secret).

    --
    The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
  12. I did this years ago. by IndustrialComplex · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is pretty old stuff. Just before I died I configured a server to send out updates of my status and opinions to various online sites like Fark and Slashdot. It even alters the content based on the site. For Fark, it takes into account my general state of decay and runs the algorythm to come up with just the right level of troll and anti-social behavior.

    For Slashdot, it takes the measurements from my corpse and runs it through a similar algorithm that pulls in the date, the most recently updated wikipedia entry, and combines the information from "Define:" google searches and returns the result.

    So far the results have been promising. My Fark Algorythm has succeeded in broadcasting just the right amount of vile comments to hook a few responders and my Slashdot Algorithm has reposted just the right amount of plagiarized wikipedia entries to earn me enough "Insightful/Informative" comments to earn me enough karma for a comforable after-net-life.

    Don't think I've forgotten about power. I requested that I be burried next to Edward R. Murrow and that a few loops be placed around his grave. With a simple RSS feed to our current 'news' sites like Fox, CNN, etc. I think this server is set to run into the next millenium.

    --
    Out of modpoints but really liked a post? 1BDkF6TtmmeZ3yqXbz9yhdYVqRYnwFoXDj
    1. Re:I did this years ago. by justinlee37 · · Score: 5, Funny

      algorythm

      algorithm

      Algorythm

      Algorithm

      Your Algorithm seems to misspell "algorithm" as "algorythm" whenever it is referring to Fark, but not Slashdot. I think you should debug it.

      I died

      oh, shi- ... nevermind.

  13. Re:This is really insulting! by BadAnalogyGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

    And thus with the outing of the last respected Slashdot community luminary as a LARPer, Slashdot began its quick plunge into irrelevance.

  14. Re:Step in the wrong direction by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Probably no more so than any of the other peculiar rituals that humans have concocted to elaborate the otherwise harsh reality of the person -> meat transformation.

    This sort of e-memorial stuff is, in my opinion, stupid, because online stuff tends to be transitory("Yes, father, this webpage shall be your testament unto the last of days, or until some idiotic Bubble 2.0 firm blows their VC money.") and shallow("OMG, I can give facebook user "Grandpa's grave" a purple heart if I add the greatestgeneration_nostalgia app!"); but it isn't fundamentally different than the meatspace stuff, beyond the air of crassness that takes a while to wear off any new custom.

  15. Netcraft Confirms It by x2A · · Score: 5, Funny

    Your son is dead.

    (Click here to stop receiving these notifications)

    --
    The revolution will not be televised... but it will have a page on Wikipedia