Slashdot Mirror


Town Fights Cricket Plague With Led Zeppelin

The residents of Tuscarora, Nevada are getting ready to fight the annual invasion of mormon crickets with the power of Rock-N-Roll. Trial and error has shown that the crickets don't think much of Led Zeppelin or the Rolling Stones. The residents circle the town with boomboxes at regular intervals to drive off the millions of crickets. "It is part of our arsenal. You'll wake up and there'll be one sitting on your forehead, looking at you." says Laura Moore, an unemployed college professor and one of the town's 13 residents. The crickets devastate crops, cause slicks on the highway and evidently love rap.

28 of 190 comments (clear)

  1. Well... by fyngyrz · · Score: 4, Funny

    The crickets devastate crops, cause slicks on the highway and evidently love rap.

    I suppose that ends all speculation that rap isn't cricket, eh, old man?

    --
    I've fallen off your lawn, and I can't get up.
    1. Re:Well... by jo42 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      "rap" 75% of the word "crap".

    2. Re:Well... by 4D6963 · · Score: 4, Funny

      "rap" 75% of the word "crap".

      Impressive find! Semi-relatedly, I think you just proved to have 75% of the wit necessary to start writing rap.

      --
      You just got troll'd!
    3. Re:Well... by cabjf · · Score: 4, Informative

      That makes him overqualified for a career in the music industry.

    4. Re:Well... by fyngyrz · · Score: 4, Funny

      About 14% country
      And 75% rap
      These are the components
      of 100% crap

      Thumping and bumping
      And your old belt buckle
      A gat and a nine
      and your old truck'll...

      [chorus]:

      ...produce 100 per cent
      Stupid and ig-nor-ent

      Bumpkin and ghetto
      It ain't no libretto

      It's just 100 per cent
      crap.

      Chords are G, A, and E. Bass line is subsonic and at least 12 db higher than the vocals. Wear a kerchief and cowboy boots when performing. Ad libbing about your dog is permitted.

      --
      I've fallen off your lawn, and I can't get up.
    5. Re:Well... by gnick · · Score: 4, Funny

      I think that the idea that they like rap was just invented by the local parents.

      "If you keep listening to that, the mormon crickets will come and get you!"

      I'll have to remember that trick for when mine are old enough to start playing crap on the radio. "Sorry, m'boy. The only way we can keep the boogy-man away is to spin up some of Dad's Floyd albums. Maybe you can listen to your music really quietly in the basement."

      --
      He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
    6. Re:Well... by djdavetrouble · · Score: 4, Funny

      "rap" 75% of the word "crap".

      "classical" 100% of the word "ass".

      Seriously, how long have you been quoting that stupid cliche......

      --
      music lover since 1969
  2. PC police by BadAnalogyGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

    The crickets devastate crops, cause slicks on the highway and evidently love rap.

    That's racist.

    1. Re:PC police by Gat0r30y · · Score: 5, Funny

      They are Mormon crickets dude.

      --
      Prediction: The real iPhone killer is going to be sex robots from Japan. Think about it.
    2. Re:PC police by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Because no white (or any other ethnicity) person has ever created a rap song/album.

      It's because of comments like yours, that parent is +5 Funny.

      (In case you haven't noticed, the parent comment doesn't contain words such as "white" or "black". It's funny how he could make all your stereotypes fill in the blanks at once with just two words.)

  3. LOL, it's cricket *bugs* by multipartmixed · · Score: 4, Funny

    At first, I thought they were trying to get rid of haughty Englishmen with funny bats!

    --

    Do daemons dream of electric sleep()?
  4. I had to do it by Mordok-DestroyerOfWo · · Score: 4, Funny

    I wonder how they feel about Buddy Holly?

    I'll go ahead and hit myself for that one.

    --
    "Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right" - Salvor Hardin
  5. Interesting article by BadAnalogyGuy · · Score: 4, Funny

    FTA: Rock music blaring from boomboxes has proved one of the best defenses against an annual invasion of Mormon crickets.

    Yeah, but you get one alone and he'll drink all your beer.

  6. Most hated song by diablovision · · Score: 5, Funny

    I guess they really must hate "Trampled Underfoot".

    --
    120 characters isn't enough to explain it.
    1. Re:Most hated song by Red+Flayer · · Score: 4, Funny

      And "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp"

      --
      "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
  7. The joke writes itself. by LaminatorX · · Score: 4, Funny

    In addition to Rock n Roll, the mormon crickets are repelled by alchohol, caffine, premarital sex, and gay marriage.

    1. Re:The joke writes itself. by bgray54 · · Score: 5, Informative

      Just to clarify, the LDS church has never taken a stand against caffeine. It's been coffee and tea, but never caffeine specifically. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Word_of_Wisdom

  8. copyright violation by castironpigeon · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Playing copyrighted music out in the open like that?! Better hope the RIAA doesn't get wind of this.

    --
    mmmm...forbidden donut
    1. Re:copyright violation by T+Murphy · · Score: 4, Funny

      Playing copyrighted music out in the open like that?! Better hope the RIAA doesn't get wind of this.

      Did you even read the summary? Their music wards off pests.

  9. Re:Yeni by Phroggy · · Score: 4, Informative

    Did you mean Yanni?

    --
    $x='S24;r)>63/* h@<5+oZ)32"5cz';$me='phroggy'x$];
    $x=~y+ -xz+\0-Tx+;print$_^chop$me for split'',$x;
  10. Re:They Love Rap? I Think Not by pz · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The TFA doesn't say they love rap. What it says is that the 2007 and 2008 crickets had "hipper tastes" (i.e. weren't as deterred by heavy-metal music as the 2006 crickets were). Apparently samzenpus mis-read "hipper" as "hip-hop" and assumed they love rap.

    Le Sigh.

    Also means the residents of Tuscarora might be applying selective pressure on the cricket population by playing loud rock music.

    --

    Put my fist through my alarm clock with its ding-dong death inside my ear. - The Blackjacks.
  11. Re:the Devil's music. by cayenne8 · · Score: 5, Informative
    "More proof that Jimmy Page was a satanist!"

    Or that Keith Richards can scare the hell out of anything....

    --
    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
  12. "Unemployed college professor"? by zindorsky · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... says Laura Moore, an unemployed college professor and one of the town's 13 residents

    If you're unemployed, you're not a college professor. You're a former college professor, or a wannabe college professor. Also, maybe a town of 13 doesn't have a lot of college professor openings?

    --
    If the geiger counter does not click, the coffee, she is not thick.
    1. Re:"Unemployed college professor"? by Chris+Burke · · Score: 4, Funny

      If you're unemployed, you're not a college professor.

      Bah, that's as stupid as saying that I'm not an unemployed Divine Emperor of Everything! And I'd crush you beneath my boot heel (or rather order my underlings to crush you) for saying such a thing. At least as soon as a position opens up...

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
  13. daitomaceous earth by Zecheus · · Score: 4, Informative

    Hints from Helen: diatomaceous earth (from a pool store) and borax scratch open the shell of these bugs and they dry up. Little is needed unless it blows away. D.E. can irritate the nose, but otherwise earth friendly. D.E. is tiny fossils. I guess it can take out other insects, too, but in that town, it doesn't seem that there are any other insects.

  14. "Mormon Crickets: Neither mormon nor cricket.... by weston · · Score: 5, Interesting

    ... Discuss." ;)

    They're not called Mormon Crickets because they're considered adherents to the faith, they're called Mormon Crickets because they're one of the fine local features the Mormons found waiting for them when they settled in Utah the mid 1800s. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_of_the_Gulls .

    Mormon Crickets are also not only not Mormons, they're not crickets either. They're shieldbacked katydids.

    They're also cannibals.

    And polygamists.

  15. Pun by Mr_Icon · · Score: 4, Funny

    Not that shocking -- they normally listen to the beetles.

    --
    If you open yourself to the foo, You and foo become one.
  16. Re:"Mormon Crickets: Neither mormon nor cricket... by PolygamousRanchKid+ · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mormon Crickets are also not only not Mormons, they're not crickets either. They're shieldbacked katydids.

    "... shieldbacked katydids?" Please do not use these abstruse metric or imperial system units. What are they in Texan talk: Varmints or Critters?

    They're also cannibals.

    Great house pets. No need to buy pet food, they just "feed themselves."

    And polygamists.

    Well, that sounds interestings. Send some over. I hope they will be more entertaining than the Presbyterian Toads.

    --
    Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!