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New Food-Growth Product a Bit Hairy

MeatBag PussRocket writes "An article from Marketplace.org reports, 'A Florida company has developed an all-natural product that it says could revolutionize how food is grown in the US. It's called Smart Grow, but it might be a tough sell. It's inexpensive. It eliminates the need for pesticides, so it's environmentally friendly, but it's human hair. Plant pathologists at the University of Florida have found the mats eliminate weeds better than leading herbicides and can also make plants grow up to 30 percent larger.'"

26 of 243 comments (clear)

  1. Other usages? by Burkin · · Score: 4, Funny

    and can also make plants grow up to 30 percent larger.'"

    Maybe someone needs to use this idea to make a super penis pill!

    1. Re:Other usages? by SupremoMan · · Score: 5, Funny

      And trimming the hair makes your penis appear 30% larger.

    2. Re:Other usages? by Don853 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Too bad you can't selectively meta-moderate. I'd like to congratulate the person who modded this "informative".

    3. Re:Other usages? by Morphine007 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Cue Banner

  2. Re:So let me get this straight... by Morphine007 · · Score: 5, Funny

    1 word: cooties

  3. You've gotta tell them! by characterZer0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Smart Grow is people!

    --
    Go green: turn off your refrigerator.
  4. Re:So let me get this straight... by Smidge207 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Agreed and THIS: more people than that die every hour from:

    Pencil sharpener mishaps
    Loose shoelaces
    Ennui
    Swine flu (aka Captain Tripps)
    Paper cuts
    Choking on midgets
    Fox News
    Staring too long at Rob Malda
    Nail biting
    Ugliness
    Smoking cigarettes
    Bad haircuts
    Forgetting to breathe
    Segway vs. Prius collisions
    Snorting bleach
    Coding in CSS
    Auto-erotic asphyxiation
    Cricket attacks
    Playing cricket while intoxicated
    E.coli
    E.fail
    Fork/toaster/musical chairs
    Chair falls
    Chainsaw juggling
    Country music
    Posting about POSIX compliance on Slashdot
    Chewing tinfoil

    =Smidge=

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    Is it just my observation, or is eldavojohn an idiot?
  5. Re:So let me get this straight... by Ralph+Spoilsport · · Score: 3, Funny
    I agree. Funny, innit?

    "Oh, that pesticide is NASTY! It's like Zyklon-B or nerve gas! And manure is...is... POOP! It's full of GERMS! But: HUMAN HAIR? EeeEEEeeeewww! Gross! Gag me with a spoon! Give me the nerve gas or the cowshit! Now!"

    RS

    --
    Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
  6. Bring the 80's rockers back! by mc1138 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now they really can do something about world hunger!

  7. Re:Does it work only with human hair? by PotatoFarmer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Good to know. I could probably solve world hunger with the cat hair under my furniture.

  8. taxes by rev_sanchez · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe I'll be able to get my head and crotch zoned as agricultural now. My efforts to get them zoned commercial were deemed illegal outside of Nevada.

    --
    If you didn't come to party don't bother knocking on my door. Prince '1999'
    1. Re:taxes by skudenfaugen · · Score: 4, Funny

      Why stop there? My chest and back are covered. Its like I have a sweater on all the time!

  9. Re:So let me get this straight... by Gat0r30y · · Score: 4, Funny
    and from the article -

    In China, hair is a commodity, used in wigs and even as an additive in food.

    OK as an additive in food? That is gross. Wait, hair pie? Nevermind.

    --
    Prediction: The real iPhone killer is going to be sex robots from Japan. Think about it.
  10. Why it is human hair by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's human hair because, being at the top of the food chain, all those nasty chemicals like herbicides, pesticides and fertilizers collect in our bodies in the highest concentrations. Thus our hair is chock-full-o-chemicals. It's no wonder human hair mats have all these wondrous properties -- they are really just recycling all those chemicals we've been putting into the environment for the last 50 years.

    --
    When information is power, privacy is freedom.
  11. Re:Does it work only with human hair? by Martin+Blank · · Score: 5, Funny

    Galactic hunger could be solved with Stallman's beard!

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    You can never go home again... but I guess you can shop there.
  12. Hair... factory? by Anenome · · Score: 4, Funny

    So just where is all this hair coming from, exactly? Are there 3rd world hair factories where children will be surreptitiously filmed hanging from the ceiling with their hair attached to hooks to make it grow faster, videos of natives explaining just how many beads they get paid for a pound of hair which figures out to a monthly income equivalent of 63 cents, and the poor orphans trotting out missing chunks from their ear where the evil corporate barbers sheared just a bit too fast and cut them for squirming? Will we see Sally Struthers begging us for just $1 a day so the poor hairless masses CAN AFFORD WIGS?!?!

    --
    "I Don't Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist"
  13. Re:Beowulf clusters of hair donors? by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 3, Funny

    I will then have to put up with people asking if I'm ok, have I lost my job, why am I selling my hair for fertilizer?

    Nature can be so cruel.

  14. Re:So let me get this straight... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    "You should see the list of extremely toxic chemicals or "product" MOST people put in their hair."

    Fixed that for you.

    And for those who are in denial, look up the ingredients in your favorite personal care products, then look for the MSDS, and then stfu!

  15. I'm going to be rich! by Trikki+Nikki! · · Score: 3, Funny

    I am soooo cashing in on this! I have hair down to my ass, so lets just say my shower gets clogged frequently. How much do you think they buy it for? I've never died/permed/etc...

    This is just like Christmas, only better :D

    --
    i r in ur /.s girling up ur storiez
  16. Re:Eliminates weeds better than herbicides? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Just imagine if copper thieves switched over to hair. Ow.

  17. Reminds me of something from Jack Ass 2... by alexschmidt · · Score: 2, Funny

    Shaving your nether regions and using it as a fake beard....

  18. Chia-Plant? by spineboy · · Score: 3, Funny

    This is like some bizarro world variation of a Chia-head, but I'm not sure how.

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    ..........FULL STOP.
  19. Great -instead of head lice... by spineboy · · Score: 2, Funny

    I can see it now - there will be some weed that will adapt to grow on this stuff - something will make the jump. Then we will start to see people who "catch" an infection of dandelions on their head.

    New! - Head & Shoulders with Ortho 5 weed killer!!

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    ..........FULL STOP.
  20. Re:So let me get this straight... by pwfffff · · Score: 5, Funny

    Another exercise: look up the ingredients in SALT and then look up what happens when you mix Na with H2O. Can't believe people eat that stuff, ugh.

  21. Re:So let me get this straight... by GarryFre · · Score: 2, Funny

    One weed sadly said to the other.... Hair today gone tomorrow!

    --
    www.Migrainesoft.com - Computer giving you a headache? We can fix that!
  22. Re:So let me get this straight... by pieisgood · · Score: 2, Funny

    and my screen name holds true

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    Eat sleep die