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Let's Rename Swine Flu As "Colbert Flu"

Bruce Perens writes "The World Health Organization will no longer refer to Virus A(H1N1) as 'Swine Flu,' citing ethnic reactions to 'swine,' for example among middle-eastern cultures who feel that swine are unclean. Or, is it because meat packers are concerned that people might stop eating pork in fear of the virus? WHO suggests that the public select a new name for the virus. I suggest that we all start calling it The Colbert Flu, after the comedian and fake pundit who asked his audience to stuff a NASA poll so that a Space Station module would be named after him. What can we do to make the name stick?"

33 of 607 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Dear Bruce... by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 4, Funny

    Flus are annoying, they show up wether you want them to or not, right in the middle of something else you were doing.

    Ok, so how about The Thompson Flu.

  2. Reddit had it right by MBCook · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Bacon Lung"

    Much better name.

    --
    Comment forecast: Bits of genius surrounded by a sea of mediocrity.
  3. Re:Dear Bruce... by Smidge207 · · Score: 4, Funny

    How about the kdawson flu?

    =Smidge=

    --
    Is it just my observation, or is eldavojohn an idiot?
  4. Choosing name on similarity by Gorm+the+DBA · · Score: 5, Funny
    Let's see....

    Characteristics of a flu...

    • Overrated in impact
    • makes you feel sick if you come in contact with it
    • Those who pay the least attention to science will be impacted by it the worst
    • makes you feel much better once you're beyond it
    • Costs the nation billions of dollars in lost productivity
    • invades countries without any concern for borders
    • the world would be a better place without it.

    given all these, the choice is obvious...

    I hereby dub this latest flu the CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN FLU

  5. Yes, it's important that deadly viruses. . . by JSBiff · · Score: 4, Funny

    Not be named after 'unclean' animals after all. I only get kosher diseases, thank you very much!

  6. Re:Let's not by commodoresloat · · Score: 5, Funny

    You know, science doesn't take too kindly to being anthropomorphized.

  7. Prescott Pharmaceuticals by Sporkinum · · Score: 3, Funny

    You can bet that Prescott Pharmaceuticals is working on a nostrum to exploit this latest panic. Includes such side effects as trotter lip, spleen bristles, and toe hams.

    BTW.. I'm a Colbert too, you insensitive clods!

    --
    "He's lost in a 'floyd hole"
  8. My Submission by Greyfox · · Score: 4, Funny
    Space herpes. Let's try it on:

    "I can't come in to work today. I have space herpes."

    "Some guy on the subway gave me space herpes."

    "CNN Reporting today that another 35 cases of space herpes have surfaced in New York."

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  9. Re:Dear Bruce... by Thornburg · · Score: 5, Funny

    How about the kdawson flu?

    =Smidge=

    I second that motion.

  10. Re:Dear Bruce... by wjousts · · Score: 5, Funny

    Flus are annoying, they show up wether you want them to or not, right in the middle of something else you were doing.

    Mother-in-law flu?

  11. Edit the wiki by spooje · · Score: 3, Funny

    How about editing the Wiki page to call it the Colbert flu. And while we're at it let's say the flu is a direct result of saving all the elephants.

    --
    Tea and kung-fu. Life is good. Rising Phoenix
  12. Now to be called "Pandemic Influenza Germ" by presidenteloco · · Score: 3, Funny

    Or P.I.G. Flu

    - suggested by CBC radio's "The Current" program this morning.

    --

    Where are we going and why are we in a handbasket?
  13. Re:Dear Bruce... by ShieldW0lf · · Score: 5, Funny

    Try to exercise a bit of sensitivity... they're concerned that a disease is named after something that is unclean.

    Perhaps they would like the Purity Flu?

    --
    -1 Uncomfortable Truth
  14. Re:Dear Bruce... by Bruce+Perens · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, I felt that with Colbert's desire to have multiple things named after him, the list of things is here, there would be a sort of "symmetry" to naming something that he would not want after him.

    Obviously a simple influenza virus is insufficient to name after me. I'd want to have named after me an itch that you can't reach and slowly drives you crazy.

  15. Bacon Fever!!! by CRiMSON · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm telling you Bacon Fever!!!

    --
    oogly boogly!
  16. Re:Colbert != comedian by nomadic · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's like slashdot humor. Unless you're familiar with the memes, the subject matter, and the jokes that have come before, 3/4 of the jokes just won't be funny to you.

    I am familiar with the memes, the subject matter, and the jokes that have come before, and 4/4 of them still aren't funny.

  17. Rejected names by jbeaupre · · Score: 4, Funny

    Wilbur's flu
    Flu Z
    Montezuma's revenge
    Tequila flu
    Panic flu
    Non-Kosher/Non-Halal flu
    One flu over the cuckoo's nest

    (just flat out ignore my poorly formatted list above. Sorry)

    --
    The world is made by those who show up for the job.
  18. Re:Dear Bruce... by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 3, Funny

    Personally, since this is a KILLER virus, we should name it Hans Reiser Virus.

    yeah, I know, I'm sick.

    --
    Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
  19. Re:Colbert != comedian by RobotRunAmok · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm sorry but "Colbert" and "Comedian" only belong in the sentence if the words between them are "is not a ". Maybe I'm English and I just don't get him....

    That's OK, mate. We don't get the whole cross-dressing thing here.

    Cheers.

  20. Re:Dear Bruce... by Stile+65 · · Score: 3, Funny

    The "Perens Scabies?"

    That sounds marketable!

    --
    I claim first use of "Error No. 0B" - or "No. 0B error." It'll be the new ID 10T!
  21. PC Flu, WW Flu, WT Flu by Ken+D · · Score: 3, Funny

    PCFlu - Politically Correct Flu
    WWF - World Wide Flu
    WTF - World Terrorizing Flu

  22. Re:Dear Bruce... by Cruciform · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Spanish Inquisition flu.
    After all, nobody expected it.

  23. Flying Pig Flu by AkkarAnadyr · · Score: 4, Funny

    The virus has genetic characteristics of avian flu and swine flu.

    The obvious way to distinguish this one is to call it the Flying Pig Flu.

    Late-night comics and morning zoo types will flog it for all it's worth, so it will overtake the current moniker.

    And the zealots will have to try to kill all the flying pigs.

    Sorry, Stephen.

    --

    I bought this house and you know I'm boss
    Ain't no h'aint gonna run me off

  24. Great idea! by denzacar · · Score: 4, Funny

    Further more, I suggest we submit that for further discussion in an article of its own.

    --
    Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
  25. I prefer... by prograde · · Score: 5, Funny

    I prefer the name Pandemic Influenza Germ...although people will undoubtedly shorten that to an acronym of some sort.

  26. Re:Let's not by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't get why anyone would object to "swine flu".

    (1) There are some people whose living depends on selling swine-related products.

    (2) People are, in general, dumb.

    Consequently, people may jump to the conclusion that eating swine may result in them getting the flu.

    This is why I'm backing "Mexican flu." If nothing else, it'll cut down on people eating Mexicans.

  27. Re:Dear Bruce... by PrescriptionWarning · · Score: 4, Funny

    These 2 laws of the holiest of holies this would be breaking!

    One, the ridiculing of the holiest body of christanity, we the inquisition!
    Two, the use of skit material not created by you but created by the holiest body of christianity, we the inquisition!
    And three, the countenance upon which you stated the material... THREE!

    Mark these 3 laws the holiest of holies that thou dost mock!

  28. Re:Dear Bruce... by dgatwood · · Score: 5, Funny

    The difference is that Colbert is actively mocking his stage persona.... Rush Limbaugh, by contrast was always just a pig.

    Hey! Maybe we could call it the Limbaugh Flu....

    --

    Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.

  29. Re:Dear Bruce... by cayenne8 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why not call it Kung Flu...after all, it does kick your ass pretty well.

    --
    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
  30. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 3, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  31. Re:Dear Bruce... by WindBourne · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hmmm. Perhaps the Cheney flu? You do not want to be shot with it.

    --
    I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
  32. Re:Dear Bruce... by amliebsch · · Score: 4, Funny

    I would hate to see an America where there was only one party.

    Uh...I've got some bad news for you.

    --
    If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.
  33. Re:Dear Bruce... by Arthur+Grumbine · · Score: 5, Funny

    This flu is actually two parts swine flu, one part bird flu and one part human flu.

    If this is true then we have no choice but to name it accordingly...

    ...ManBirdPig Flu!!

    --
    Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.