Slashdot Mirror
Duke Nukem For Never
PLSQL Guy writes "Duke Nukem Forever developer 3D Realms is shutting down, according to Shacknews. They cite 'a reliable source close to the company,' who said the developer is finished and employees have already been let go. It looks like all of the Duke Nukem Forever jokes are turning into reality; DNF might turn out to be the ultimate vaporware after all."
3D Realms' webmaster, Joe Siegler, confirmed the closing, saying that he didn't know about it even a day beforehand. Apogee and Deep Silver, who are working on a different set of Duke Nukem games (referred to as the Duke Nukem Trilogy) say they are not affected by the problems at 3D Realms.
I think now would be as good a time as any to repost the Duke Nukem Forever List for those who haven't already read it, or remember it fondly and looking for a encore laugh.
Just as the DNF team would occasionally tease us over the years with trailers, the list has been updated to include humanity's latest accomplishments (and failures.)
Interestingly, a conversation regarding the late great duke came up at work just today...
This is the strangest read I've had in a while:
http://gamingisstupid.com/2009/05/06/the-chair-story-revival/
I was told to think about my next words very carefully before giving my final answer. Honestly, I felt this was a test to see how well I would hold up to pressure later when we had to "hold the lie" (the similarity to "hold the line" isn't on accident), so I held firm and said I really wanted to, but needed to have it reviewed...
oh fuck...
Faster than I can even remember (literally... I don't remember) I was knocked out of my chair by I *think* of all people Tim Sweeney (it was a wooden kitchen chair) and was pinned on the ground by Mike Wilson and Cliffy B (he's so much stronger than I ever expected). George walks over to my chair and fucking stomps the shit out of it until the legs are broken off. He casually picks up one of the legs that had split into a shit your pants style point and starts tossing it up and down. Scott and Mark Rein alternate on and off saying that I apparently wasn't aware how *real* business is done and that if I didn't want to find out why those two companies had maintained such a strong position in the industry dating back to the shareware days (when it seems people didn't ask nearly as many questions about why developers appeared, made a game, and then disappeared without a trace)... I had better reconsider my answer.
I do remember the next part very very well though... I will never forget it and I have to admit that I have dreams about it pretty frequently.
Cliffy and Mike pulled me up and shoved my face about 6 inches from the point of the chair leg. I was drenched in sweat (the trailers didn't have decent AC so it was already hot as hell in there)... and if they had let go of me I would not have been able to stand on my own.
George looked me in the eyes and asked me one more time what I was going to do... so at that point I did what anyone would do...
I mean, this guy actually did work at 3DRealms and this is his blog, but seriously, CliffyB and Marc Rein threatening developers with broken chairs? Tim Sweeny tackling people and holding them down for gang beatings?
Gotta love the site that lists all the things that have happened in the time DNF was "supposed" to be being made.
For instance, it took less time to implement and complete the entire Moon landing program.
The Beatles were formed, released every song, and split up in less time than it's been since DNF's initial announcement.
Wars came and went quicker.
The *entire* GTA series of games was released since the announcement.
58 Mario games were made since the announcement.
It always was a farce, always will be a farce. Even if the source was released tomorrow, complete and playable in every detail, DNF would *still* be the biggest development farce in gaming. It should have had its tail cut long ago, rather than constant "reinvention". All we can hope is that the developers and producers involved learn a lesson and start getting things out of the door in their new jobs. It sounds like it was technically good at most points but reinventing the wheel and constant, inept, managerial interruptions turned it into a circus (so, what else is new?).
Surely anyone with a brain would have left 3DRealms *long* ago anyway, if this is how it was working?
What, I thought DNF was "Digital Noise Filter". Which is what you need when reading rumors about the impending release of DNF :)
Wikipedia says it's
"Did not finish" in racing parlance
(Non-native English speakers might not be familiar with this particular acronym expansion.)
try eduke32
I was one of those obsessed followers for the first 3-4 years after DN3D until I came up with what *I* figured happened. Hell, I even bought all the action figures...
I believe they made a name with Duke 3D and had good intentions of making a sequel..at first. Then along came licensing rights. Easy money. Then came some noteable side-tracks. Max Payne for one. Then came some more licensing. Then it really didn't make sense to work that hard any more. The money (anyone with a buck to buy licensing) just called on the phone, the lawyers did their work, and the money showed up in the bank.
Here is some of what we got instead of DNF..
Duke Nukem 64
Duke Nukem - Game Boy Color
Duke Nukem - Land of the Babes
Duke Nukem - Manhattan Project
Duke Nukem - Time to Kill
Duke Nukem - Total Meltdown
Duke Nukem - Zero Hour
Duke Nukem Advance
Duke Nukem II
Duke Nukem Mobile
They milked it for over 10 years. I am surprised they actually "called it off" and didn't just let it fade away.
The shame here is the magnificent property that was lazily shit off.
> ...udder crap...
I'm not typically a grammar nazi, but please people: udders don't crap, they produce milk. The phrase is "utter crap". Thank you. That is all.
/. zen: Imagine a Beowulf cluster of Beowulf clusters...
I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck
-- dnl