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FMRI Shows Man Loves Wife More Than Angelina Jolie

An anonymous reader writes "We've discussed (at length) functional MRI technology as it pertains to marketing and virtual reality, but now Esquire writer A.J. Jacobs has become the first person to go inside the controversial machine to test the science behind his sex drive. As in, he has fMRI experts read his mind as to whether he's actually more turned on by his young wife or Angelina Jolie. The results, unsurprisingly, are both geeky and hilarious. Would you subject yourself to this kind of reality check?"

16 of 347 comments (clear)

  1. The test was rigged! by __aajfby9338 · · Score: 5, Funny

    If it was an honest test, they would have asked him about Kristen Bell.

  2. Re:So which celebrity does he prefer? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't think I've ever been so bored with a first post - EVER

  3. This thread is useless without pics by Swampash · · Score: 5, Funny

    of his wife.

    1. Re:This thread is useless without pics by eam · · Score: 5, Funny

      Congratulations. You figured out how to get slashdot readers to read the article (or at least skim it looking for pictures).

    2. Re:This thread is useless without pics by nizo · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Why do people still think knives are instruments of beauty? Can you show me anyone who looked better one year after their surgery than they did before?

      Yes:

      http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30586321/

  4. Re:So which celebrity does he prefer? by tpgp · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, I can detect lies (with a 100% success rate) - just by staring into the character of the electrons of a slashdotter's post.

    And you are lying.

    Oh, wait! Sorry, not lying - but self-delusional. The characteristics electron remnants of lying & self-delusion appear similar on occasions.

    --
    My pics.
  5. Re:Thank you MythBusters... by LaurensVH · · Score: 5, Funny

    There's also the quadruple blind test, where we don't give give the actual measurements to the statisticians, to remove all possible bias.

  6. Not Surprising by glwtta · · Score: 5, Funny

    I didn't RTFA, but why would you expect Angelina Jolie to love this man's wife more than he does? Have they even met?

    --
    sic transit gloria mundi
  7. Re:Thank you MythBusters... by nacturation · · Score: 5, Funny

    For quintuple blind, everyone involved in the experiment must be 100% visually impaired.

    --
    Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
  8. Re:So which celebrity does he prefer? by Jurily · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The chances of your wife being 'deeply beautiful' are almost nil.

    If that's true, you fucked up. Why the hell do you marry someone in the first place?

    And no men don't gradually find girls they live with to be more and more attractive over time.

    Bullshit.

    On the other hand, women find men they like to be more attractive than they really are.

    So now you know attractiveness better than the people whose opinion actually matters to each other? How is this crap Insightful?

  9. Re:So which celebrity does he prefer? by tezbobobo · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think it's great you found a wife who shares your interest in reading slashdot. Well Done!

  10. Good thing no women are going to read about this by JDub87 · · Score: 5, Funny

    If women hear about this...

    Next argument:
    "You don't really love me!"
    "Baby you know I do!"
    "Prove it! You, me and my sister are going down to the machine tomorrow!"
    *Uh oh*

  11. Brick Wall? Head. Head? Brick Wall. by DynaSoar · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Myself and others wax scientific and rant extensively about the problems associated with using this technique. I'll keep mine short this time by keeping it to an example. From TFA in that eminent science journal Esquire:

    "When you speak, blood flows to the language centers. When you blink your eyes, it flows to the eye-blinking centers."

    The same region that makes something happen is also responsible for inhibiting that action. Each contains both accelerator and brakes. When you withhold speech, blood flows to the language centers. When you prevent your eyes from blinking, blood flows to the eye blinking centers. When the reaction is "I love my wife", blood flows to the I love my wife centers. When the reaction is "I don't love my wife", blood flows to the I love my wife centers.

    It is not possible for fMRI to tell the difference between a positive and negative reaction, and is in fact measuring both reactions being considered prior to resolution in the sampling time. The two reactions may use some different Hebbian neural assemblies within the same region, but the low (ie. several cubic millimeters) spatial resolution of MRI catches both of them plus much more in the same voxel (3D pixel). The same problem emerges when different regions "light up" in the different conditions. It can't be determined whether that is excitatory or inhibitory activity.

    By way of providing a reference, the above is what I was taught by a biophysicist who was working on his dissertation on this subject under Peter Fox, originator of the use of MRI for functional testing (ie. 'boxcar' design), including the use of SPM (statistical probability mapping) for analysis in comparing the MRI results in the different conditions. The above should also make it clear that using fMRI as a "lie detector" is fruitless.

    --
    "I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
  12. In a subjective matter? by Moraelin · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The chances of your wife being 'deeply beautiful' are almost nil. So yes you are sucking up to your wife. And no men don't gradually find girls they live with to be more and more attractive over time. On the other hand, women find men they like to be more attractive than they really are.

    So, in a fundamentally subjective matter, you presume to tell people that their own perception is wrong? I'm used to this kind of crap coming from game fanboys, but it's a new twist to actually see it applied to something as _blatantly_ subjective as physical beauty.

    If a woman X is attracted to man Y, that's it. That's by definition "attractive". He's attractive... for her. Hint: notice the common word root in there.

    Who the fuckk do you think you _are_ to tell her that, in something that's 100% personal perception, her perception is wrong?

    And yes, it's 100% subjective. Some people like older women. In fact, for some, it's a major turn on. There's a whole genre of porn about 70+ year old women. (So, yes, to answer that objection, that's one case he actually might like her more after 40 years of marriage.)

    Some people like women who are anything between a bit overweight, to outright obese. Again, check out some of the BBW porn out there, and some looks like they filmed a vaguely humanoid blob of fat. Someone pays to watch those, you know?

    Some people like huge breasts. Some actually like them small. And I won't just use porn this time, but look at the ideal of female beauty of the ancient Greeks and Romans. Look at all those sculptures that are barely A cup. Presumably because it represented a young woman who hasn't had children yet. (Ditto about the huge penis obsession recently, BTW: the greeks considered a perfect penis to be rather small, and they actually exaggerated in that direction in a lot of their statues. Huge phaluses were considered something the barbarians have.) To get back to breasts, the romans are sometimes credited with inventing the bra, but that's misleading. What actually got into fashion there wasn't some padded wonderbra, but just a strip of cloth tied over the breasts to press them down, so she looks like she has smaller breasts than she actually has.

    A lot of people people like redheads, and especially in places where there aren't that many born naturally that way. But in the UK where they have the highest percentage of them, a lot of people aren't turned on by that mutation at all, and the term "ginger" is used as an insult.

    Etc. It's really that subjective.

    Maybe his wife wouldn't be "deeply beautiful" to you, but how do you know it isn't for him? Oh, right, you presume to tell someone that his tastes are wrong and yours are some kind of platinum standard for all humanity. Carry on.

    --
    A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
  13. Re:So which celebrity does he prefer? by PopeRatzo · · Score: 5, Funny

    The chances of your wife being 'deeply beautiful' are almost nil.

    Not true. Many slashdotter wives are "deeply beautiful". ...

    You thought there was gonna be a joke here, but you're wrong. I know for sure that there's at least one slashdot user with a gorgeous wife (hi, honey).

    [note to young guys: this is how you manage to still get oral on a regular basis after 20 years' marriage]

    --
    You are welcome on my lawn.
  14. Re:So which celebrity does he prefer? by geminidomino · · Score: 5, Insightful

    My experience seems to swing the opposite direction, but Ron White said it better than I did.

    I didn't marry my wife for looks, and you shouldn't either. In a few years, if her boobs start to sag too much, there's a place you can go to and they'll lift 'em right back up to where they were. And you can point the nipple in any direction. Hell, you can go to a titty bar, pick out a set of titties and say "I want those titties on that woman right there." If she gets too fat and don't wanna work it off, you can get a tummy tuck. They'll give you a belly that looks like a cheerleader. If your eyesight starts to go bad, you can get Lasik surgery and they can give you 20/20 vision at any age. If your hearing starts to fail, they'll put a little device in your ear that makes you hear as good as when you were born. But let me tell you something folks- you can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take. There's not a class you can go to. Stupid is fo-evah.