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Who Would Want To Be Obama's Cybersecurity Czar?

dasButcher writes "President Obama is expected to name a new cybersecurity czar sometime soon. This person will be charged with defending the digital boards from attack by hostile nation-states and terrorist organizations. But the question Larry Walsh asks is: Who really wants the job? The previous three people who held the post barely made a dent in solving the security problems. Government bureaucracy and private sector resistance make it nearly impossible to find any measure of meaningful success in this job, he writes." Reader eatcajun contributes a related link to the long-awaited US cyberspace policy review.

14 of 131 comments (clear)

  1. Stephen Conroy by Gandalf_Greyhame · · Score: 4, Funny

    We'll give you Stephen Conroy if you like.

    --
    I am not stubborn. I am right!
  2. is that anything like a Secretary of the Internet? by Xtifr · · Score: 4, Funny

    Obligatory XKCD link (five part story).

  3. I paid my taxes by Wonko+the+Sane · · Score: 5, Funny

    so I guess I am ineligible even if I wanted the job.

  4. Bruce . . . by PolygamousRanchKid+ · · Score: 4, Funny

    . . . Schneier and Campbell . . .

    . . . Schneier can lecture us on, "What is Cybersecurity?" . . . Campbell can cut 'em up with chainsaws, and blow their brains out with his shotgun.

    How could we lose?

    --
    Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
  5. lol cyberczar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    is the cyberczar going to declare a "WAR ON BLOGS"?

  6. I nominate BOFH by linzeal · · Score: 2, Funny

    I am sure he will find away around this so called bureaucracy of yours as he has been doing quite well for himself in the private sector.

    Of course with the new job comes new nomenclature, I present to you ladies and gentlemen the BCCFH (The bastard cybersecucurity czar from hell) and don't worry about assigning him any more power than a normal UNIX sysadmin, he'll get the job done.

  7. I pay my taxes every year, by argStyopa · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...so clearly I'm not qualified to be on Obama's cabinet.

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    -Styopa
  8. The answer is obvious by mqduck · · Score: 5, Funny

    Cowboy Neal.

    --
    Property is theft.
  9. Re:Czar fetish by BJ_Covert_Action · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well, you see, we all have fond memories of playing with mamushka dolls when we were little and...I mean...come on... who honestly doesn't love those things?

  10. I'd take the Job! by gyrogeerloose · · Score: 1, Funny

    Of course, I'm not qualified but we're talking about the U.S. government here so since when would that matter?

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    This ain't rocket surgery.
  11. Re:Doesn't sound so bad actually... by ColdWetDog · · Score: 3, Funny

    In old country, we shoot Czars. Not to be wanting this, I think.

    --
    Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
  12. Re:A no win situation by KahabutDieDrake · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think you forgot to include the punchline.

  13. Re:A no win situation by BlueParrot · · Score: 4, Funny

    Oh, stop. A Windows "backbone" can be made just as secure by a competent admin as a *nix "backbone" can.

    And you CAN attach wheels to your tower and CRT, hooking it up to lead acid battery and dragging it along behind you, but it is just so much easier to get a laptop...

  14. Re:A no win situation by janwedekind · · Score: 2, Funny

    The impudence of this lie was so strong that it send ripples through space time causing momentary discomfort to a Linus Torvalds in a parallel universe deciding to go out for dinner instead of sending a post about developing an operating system kernel.