Slashdot Mirror
Has Bing Already Overtaken Yahoo?
nk497 writes "Microsoft's newly revamped search tool Bing has already overtaken Yahoo in the US and globally, according to StatsCounter. The net traffic watcher said Bing has topped Yahoo 16.28% to 10.22% in the US, and 5.62% to 5.13% globally. Though the firm noted Bing's popularity may drop off after the excitement wears off, the firm also said: 'Steve Ballmer is quoted as saying that he wanted Microsoft to become the second biggest search engine within five years. Following the breakdown in talks to acquire Yahoo at a cost of $40 billion it looks as if he may have just achieved that with Bing much sooner and a lot cheaper than anticipated.' Google, of course, still leads by a considerable margin."
Bing Is Not Google
This morning, our dear leader Steve Ballmer is unveiling our completely new search service, unrelated to anything we at Microsoft have ever done before: Bob Hope.
We spent lots of time listening to you, except when you told us how much MSN Search^W^W Live Search^W^W Kumo sucked 'cause you're just wrong about that, to learn which buzzwordy Web 2.0 thingies you use search for today. Finding a webpage that has anything to do with the search terms you entered is so passe, dahling.
So today we're introducing a new kind of search, that goes beyond traditional search engines that do tedious things like find stuff, to instead help you make faster, more informed decisions. (Windows 7 is peachy keen, by the way.) We think of Bob Hope as a Decision Engine. We've sued Stephen Wolfram into atomic dust using our patents on FAT and Mono, co-opted the Wolfram Alpha engine and swapped Mathematica for Visual Basic and Wolfram's brain for the exhumed corpse of Bob Hope.
So why did we pick Bob Hope as the new core of our search? We needed a brand that was as fresh and new as our approach. A name that was memorable, short, easy to spell, and that would function well as a URL around the world.
And just look at these results!
What do we want?
Braaains.
When do we want them?
Braaains.
What do I need to run Windows 7?
Braaains.
What's Bill Gates got that means you should buy everything you can from the company he founded?
Braaains.
What's the final proof of Steve Ballmer's equal genius to Steve Jobs?
Vistaaa.
This is something new, something improved! You need to try it! It'll give so much more betterer results than that other search engine we can't name because Steve will wedge another chair up our butts! Please, come and try our new and improved service! FOR GOD'S SAKE TRY THE DAMN SERVICE. OR THE PUPPY GETS IT. We're Microsoft. We're serious as a heart attack on this one.
http://rocknerd.co.uk
You know the next onslaught of Bing ads will claim:
"More popular than Yahoo!"*
* For one day after weeks of massive advertising, Bing beat out Yahoo in website traffic. Results not typical.
Only if they keep themselves up to date by reading tech-centric sites such as slashdot.
Oh wait...!!
I saw a Bing commercial. It makes me want to choke someone to death with my bare hands.
I dated your sister until you told me not to? BING! Needlenose Ned! BING!
Man, I've seen that movie so many times.
Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
Bing may or may not have a big impact
Well a quick straw poll in my building suggests Bing hasn't even surpassed yelling down the corridor so it's got a looong way to go!
Yes, they are also famous for heavily discrediting open source and providing Steve Ballmer with free chairs.
"I have downloaded hundreds and hundreds of records, why would I care if somebody downloads ours?" Robin Pecknold
Tuesday. That's when all the patches come out. ;)
Every time I start to have faith in humanity, I ruin it by driving to work between 7 and 8 am.
If you don't know what Bing is, you should just Google it.
My webcomic
Good catch.
*ahem* It's like a mechanic going up to an IT guy picking out a car and saying "What do you mean you don't care if it's the two or four door model?! You're a fucking idiot!"
Hey, look! It's Bono's brother.
Didn't even know they were still around.
Bing, the search engine that'll return more links than you can throw a chair at!