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Apple's WWDC Unveils iPhone 3.0, OpenCL, Laptop Updates, and More
Lots of big news from WWDC today including updates to almost all of Apple's laptops. They added a 13-inch version to the MacBook Pro line, updated the MacBook Air, and added a few new ports to some of the machines including an SD slot and firewire 800 port. Software updates saw Safari 4 launched, OS X updates including threading changes, Exchange support to mail, calendar, and address book, and OpenCL a new open graphics standard. The iPhone got quite a bit of love in 3.0, much of it just confirming older news. Cut, copy, and paste, shake to undo, developer APIs, Cocoa Touch support for text, landscape mode updates, spotlight, and MMS all made the bullet list. You will now also be able to rent and purchase movies directly from your iPhone. Other new features in 3.0 include the much debated tethering ability, allowing you to use your iPhone as a cellular modem (unfortunately there was no mention of AT&T actually supporting this feature, a wonder there wasn't a riot), integrated TomTom GPS navigation, and game features galore. New functionality also allows you to locate your iPhone via MobileMe, play a sound to help you locate it (regardless if it is set to silent), and even wipe your data remotely. The New iPhone hardware updates, "3GS", adds a 3 megapixel auto-focus camera, voice interfaces, twice the processing power, and hardware encryption. The 3GS comes in 16GB ($199) and 32GB ($299), pushing the 3G (which they are keeping on the market) to $99. Lots of other small updates amidst the bustle, looks like another successful WWDC.
This whole conference was crap. All Apple did was bash Windows, introduce a service pack for Leopard priced at 29USD, and introduce a phone which, well, is only evolutionary, and tell everyone in the US that tethering via AT&T isn't an option for god-knows-what-reason.
They also took out an ExpressCard slot from their MacBook Pros, worsened the battery situation on said laptops, and generally just ripped everyone off. What a waste of time.
What was with the Windows-bashing? They didn't even give a reason. All they said was that it's built on top of Vista... well, duh? Snow Leopard is built on top of Leopard. That's supposed to mean something? Apple is spending a good amount of effort trying to become the biggest troll on the planet... for what? What's the benefit? Too many of my friends were turned off by the unnecessary Windows-bashing; I guess if Apple was trying to win over the enterprise crowd, they did a good job of alienating them right from the start.
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I wish you had blown your hot load all over the cockholsters in the audience.
then backstage you'd dump a couple of steamin' hot logs right in my mouth.
*sigh*
there's always next year.
- arn, macrumors god
in february, my wife and i both purchased 8GB IPhone 3G phones @ $199 each. i know several other people that have done the same thing within the past couple of months. it really peeves me that apple dropped the price to $99 AND introduced a new phone that has twice the capacity for the same price as the phone that I bought. it would be different if they said, "in 1 year, there will be this blah blah blah phone for $199" because that would have given the consumers a chance to decide if they want to go ahead with the massive $199 purchase or wait to get something that is better for the same price.
i know i'm preachin to the choir, but apple should show some good faith and offer some sort of upgrade plan for people who purchased iphones within the past 6 months. there is no way in hell that i'm going to shell out $199 more within the next couple of years just to get a phone that has features that apple fucked up in the original iphone3g. i would, however, be willing to pay $50-75 to upgrade my phone to the IPhone3GS.
stephen
Apple agreed to the app and it was in the appstore for a day, then pulled it without word. Then they agreed to put it back up, then after waiting a long while, they finally said "no" without explanation. I would say they broke the original agreement to sell the tethering app through the app store because someone in their dev group said it was supposed to be a killer feature in iphone OS 3.0. Abuse of monopoly power. Or... They killed the nullriver app because AT&T told them to behind the scenes. Collusion and abuse of monopoly power.
A couple of years ago, while wandering the library in downtown San Francisco, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john, Steve Jobs -- the messiah himself -- came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was busy and in any case I was sure he wouldn't even let me shake his hand.
As soon as he left I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as his cock -- or at least as I imagined it!
I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a pc user and had been on the Mac train since last year. Of course I'd had fantasies of meeting him, sucking his cock and balls, not to mention sucking his asshole clean, but I never imagined I would have the chance. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of Steve Jobs, the chosen one.
Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract?
I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it smelled.
I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big half nigger cock, beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was that Steve Jobs wasn't there to see my loyalty and wash it down with his piss.
I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit. It's even better than listening to an Jobs speech!
Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my handkerchief, and stashed them in my briefcase. In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole. Not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom.
I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone. The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six orgasms in the process.
OS 3.0 features : no surprise as per the beta, ie = where are the Java support ? the Flash support ? Tethering is fine but is not allowed yet on major operator :(
3GS features : where are the SD port ? the front camera for 3G visual call ? the standard plug port like miniUSB or microUSB ?
This is still a brillant product, but with new Android phones coming soon (next week ?), I am not sure it will keep contenders far away from the apple's tree.
The brilliant idea of the keynote : zipcar, just a cool way to rent a car, like the one we have in europe to borrow a public bike (velib, velov http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Velib ). But we don't have remote horn on our iphone app :)
Let's wait for iPhone 4.
Did he really cut-off his cock and balls??
Go ahead and mod me troll, but... oh wow a Slashdot news story on the same day as the news?!
-- I was raised on the command line, bitch
b00m is what steve jobs says when he blows his load on the face of a mac fanboi
Aww, the poor reality-isolated fanboys threw me a flamebait mod.
I'm not the one who copied the Windows 7 taskbar into the Snow Leopard dock. Don't get upset with me. It wasn't me "starting my photocopier."
Face it, fanboys - Apple thrives on the adversarial mentality. They can't promote themselves on merit because they have exactly the same shit as everyone else, give or take some details.
And I own several Apple products. This isn't just some blind bullshit I'm throwing out here. I'm just not susceptible to the marketing. I don't believe owning a Mac makes me better than a Windows user, no matter how badly Steve Jobs wants me to feel that way.
If you can't buy it over the counter sans service contract for $99, then it's NOT a $99 iPhone. It's a lie!
"It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."