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Microsoft Launches New "Get the Facts" Campaign

ko9 writes that Microsoft has re-launched its "'Get the facts' campaign, in an attempt to promote Internet Explorer 8. It contains a chart that compares IE8 to Firefox and Chrome. Needless to say, IE8 comes out as the clear winner, with MS suggesting it is the only browser to provide features like 'privacy,' 'security,' 'reliability.' It even claims to have Firefox beat in 'customizability.'"

16 of 524 comments (clear)

  1. I got the facts ... by Shome · · Score: 5, Funny

    now give me the story!

    --

    ~Once you have your choices narrowed down, the rest will fall into place.
  2. It's Too Late, I'm Done with IE by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sure, Firefox may win in sheer number of add-ons, but many of the customizations you'd want to download for Firefox are already a part of Internet Explorer 8 -- right out of the box.

    Those Grapes are Sour ANYWAY!

    And nothing is worse than this one:

    Web Standards

    It's a tie. Internet Explorer 8 passes more of the World Wide Web Consortium's CSS 2.1 test cases than any other browser, but Firefox 3 has more support for some evolving standards.

    Did you hear that? Because my head just fucking exploded.

    And what the hell does "Manageability" mean? Rate at which the browser is able to be handled or controled? What the hell?! And their little quip for this one:

    Neither Firefox nor Chrome provide guidance or enterprise tools. That's just not nice.

    You know what's not nice? Having to write in my freaking javascript if(IE){ do tons of fucked up shit } else { everybody else's predictable behavior }. You know what else isn't nice? The scourge of websites that will forever taint the web because you couldn't get your shit together for IE6 and then you let it fester for years.

    I am so done with internet explorer in any form. This ridiculous campaign is just here to piss me off. Microsoft has no one to blame but themselves for making me jaded and opposed to any form of IE.

    --
    My work here is dung.
    1. Re:It's Too Late, I'm Done with IE by Thanshin · · Score: 5, Funny

      aving to write in my freaking javascript if(IE){ do tons of fucked up shit } else { everybody else's predictable behavior }.

      We should have started a campaign years ago to change that for:

      if(IE){ } else { display page }

    2. Re:It's Too Late, I'm Done with IE by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

      No.

      if (IE) { send_drive_by_download_of_Firefox_with_IE_deleter } else { display page }

    3. Re:It's Too Late, I'm Done with IE by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny

      ... This ridiculous campaign is just here to piss me off. ...

      It's all about you, isn't it?

      Well, I don't mean to sound narcissistic but this is how I imagine it happened:

      Microsoft Web Admin: It's Friday, I'm bored. Let's do something fun.
      Microsoft Web Developer: You want to go down to the gym and practice our aim at throwing chairs.
      Microsoft Web Admin: Nah, that's not as fun anymore. Plus all the Stallman effigies are in disrepair.
      Microsoft Web Developer: I know! Let's put up another page that makes all the Slashdot users shit themselves again!
      Microsoft Web Admin: Oh man, that was pretty funny when we submitted the itsbetterwithwindows story and made it sound like that was Asus' idea.
      Microsoft Web Developer: Hahaha, yeah, good times. Ok, I'll put something up claiming IE8 superiority. You get ready to post stuff some shill defenses.
      Microsoft Web Admin: Oh, god, they're going to have aneurysms, this never gets old!
      Microsoft Web Developer: What do you give for the over/under on number of posts?
      Microsoft Web Admin: 300
      Microsoft Web Developer: I'll put $20 on the over.
      Microsoft Web Admin: You're on.

      --
      My work here is dung.
  3. But does it run on linux? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can't find it in the repos.

  4. It is more customisable by TheRaven64 · · Score: 5, Funny

    With FireFox, only the user can customise the browser. With IE, any remote attacker can as well!

    --
    I am TheRaven on Soylent News
  5. Customizability... by edeloso · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... you keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  6. Re:Sure... by Thanshin · · Score: 5, Funny

    Actually, the 'customizability' advantage comes from the fact that IE can be quickly customized by third parties, online, in real time and without even needing to notify you.

  7. Re:Two wrongs... by sakdoctor · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yes, Mozilla is lying.
    They put a tick next to "Compatible with modern Web pages and technologies" for IE.

  8. Re:Excelent Microsoft products by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Tell that to my 5th Xbox 360!

  9. Re:Excelent Microsoft products by Seriousity · · Score: 5, Funny

    You speak truth, my friend. Several months ago, I begrudgingly bought a Microsoft wireless mouse/keyboard combo, because - get this - it was the only set stocked at The Warehouse (New Zealand's Walmart) that played nicely with linux.

    Now, I dual-boot Ubuntu and XP. The pure gold part is that roughly 75% of the time, XP doesn't recognize the hardware at first and I have to piss around replugging the USB cable, pressing the connect button and watching tiny green flashing lights for ten minutes before I can log in. When I boot Ubuntu, it just works.

    So it becomes clear, the reason that Microsoft's software is second-rate is that it wasn't made to run on linux.

    --
    This post was made in complete sincere seriousity; as such any attempts to derive humour are doomed to instant failure.
  10. Use of quotes by WaRrK · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft Launches New "Get the Facts" Campaign

    'Microsoft Launches New Get the "Facts" Campaign' There, fixed that for you....

  11. Re:Excelent Microsoft products by selven · · Score: 5, Funny

    I pirated my WIndows lunch bag.

  12. Re:Excelent Microsoft products by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    /\
    |____ [not a fast learner]

  13. MS business model: Take advantage of weaknesses by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft is widely misunderstood. People think Microsoft is a software company that is often abusive. But it isn't. It's an abuse company that uses software to deliver abuse. Like for example, deliberately releasing faulty versions of operating systems.

    Microsoft got as big as it is only because it was possible to take advantage of the ignorance of the average person about computers.