Hospital Confirms Steve Jobs's Liver Transplant

CNet is reporting that the hospital where Apple's CEO reportedly got a liver transplant two months ago has now confirmed the truth of these reports. "Steve Jobs underwent his liver transplant about two months ago at Methodist University Hospital in Memphis, the hospital confirmed Tuesday. Jobs, who returned to work Apple's campus in Cupertino, Calif., on Monday after a six-month medical leave, 'is now recovering well and has an excellent prognosis,' according to a statement by Dr. James D. Eason, the program director of the Methodist University Hospital Transplant Institute. ... While Eason said the confirmation was being provided with Jobs's approval, he cited patient confidentially in saying that he could not reveal any further information on the specifics of Jobs's surgery."

Comments

I did not think that

[bugs2squash]

third party upgrades were approved

Funny that

[sleeponthemic]

About the same time this buddy of mine, Eugene Victor Tooms went missing.

What the doctor didn't confirm...

[ravenspear]

was that Jobs underwent a brain enhancement procedure which enables him to sufficiently focus his mental RDF energy for use as a telepathic weapon.

Apple will house the new weapon, tentatively codenamed iDontThinkSo in an underground bunker beneath their Cupertino campus.

Because of Mr Jobs' prolific temper, executives were initially concerned about the potential for misuse the weapon presented and the possibility of its use against enemies who were not truly dire. For this reason, a killswitch was installed to be controlled remotely via Phil Schiller's iPhone.

Analysts predict the new weapon will bolster the company's share price by at least 20% and should by them enough time to complete the fully cybernetic Jobs 2.0.

Re:Public Figure Vs HIPAA, HIPAA Wins!

[djupedal]

That would be 'dumbass, Sir!' to you... And thank Bhudda for /., where people can have a good old fashioned virtual pissing contest without mods getting in the way :)

Parts

[Scutter]

Maybe now he'll understand why it's so important to be able to install third-party parts and he'll decide to loosen-up the licensing a little bit.

Re:Parts

[turing_m]

He should have gotten the Linux liver. He'd be operated on for free by an enthusiastic student doctor. After his body starts going into shock from rejecting the transplant, he gets on the forums and PMs the doctor. He is briefly told that his new organ is a "fork of the porcine liver" and that dampening the auto-immune response of the body is a feature that is not even at alpha stage yet but assuredly, quite high in the queue. If he wants to develop the feature himself, he's welcome to, in fact, he can easily obtain a similar liver to study for free. If that is too hard, he could always recompile his DNA so that it won't conflict with his new liver, but hey, he better have a spare body in case his system hangs during reboot. Until then, he could do what most people do and take a concoction of drugs to work around that bug, unfortunately, he has to learn to live with being housebound and crawling around on his hands and knees.

After becoming irate, he is told to STFW and RTFM. At 8:00am, bleary eyed from searching endless forums he calls up work and tells them he's sick and won't be coming in until he's better. 6 months later, he takes a shower, ready to head back to work after finally fixing his problem himself.

He gazes up at the enormous face of the penguin. Eighteen years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark feathers. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Linux.

A good bet

[plague911]

$10 says his old liver ends up on ebay.

Re:This is actually a new Apple product

[spankyofoz]

And when he takes his shirt off you can see the backlit apple logo they installed, which also mysteriously doubled the cost of the operation.

Re:Public Figure Vs HIPAA, HIPAA Wins!

[Ortega-Starfire]

Well a double-dumbass on you, sir!

I received my delivery yesterday...

[Centurix]

This is going to go well with Fava beans and a nice Chianti

So it was a lie

[El_Muerte_TDS]

A apple a day, doesn't keep the doctor away.