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Stuck Knob Causes Serious Window Damage To Atlantis
FTL writes "While in orbit a metal knob floated between a window and the dashboard of Atlantis. Once back on Earth, the shuttle contracted, wedging the knob firmly in place and damaging the window. Initial attempts to free the knob have failed and engineers may need six months to disassemble that section of the orbiter. Given that the shuttle program will probably end next year anyway, such a delay might mean scrapping Atlantis early rather than repairing it. Efforts to remove the knob using less invasive techniques continue."
The article neglects to mention the extreme disappointment of John M. Grunsfeld who spent the majority of Mission STS-125 photographing a strange phenomenon he could witness through his window but could not detect on radar. A large knob-shaped object would move about above the atmosphere with an almost supernatural fluidity and change of speeds relative to the Earth. He neglected to mention it to his crewmates hoping that he had stumbled upon either the first contact with alien life or observed a new phenomenon he dubbed in his journal "Grunsfeld's Effect." Unfortunately the engineers at NASA have immortalized his name by calling the stuck debris "Grunsfeld's Knob" or "Grunsfeld's God." The engineers have also started referring to being duped as "being grunsfelded." Example: "I called up to order some of those damn Video Professor instructional DVDs and ended up with 8 of the stupid things. Man did I get Grunsfelded!"
My work here is dung.
Title suggestion: "Shuttle has a Wedgie"
Table-ized A.I.
Throw a bucket of cold water on it and the knob should slip right out.
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
and is underfunded and ending soon anyways, give atlantis the same proper ghetto treatment a contemporary of its time would receive, like 25 year old plymouth horizon: plastic sheeting and duct tape
also knock out a back tail light and finger daub "wash me" in the cosmic dust on its hood
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
They need to call one of those chip-and-crack auto glass replacement people that I hear on the radio all the time. They come out to your workplace to do the job, and best of all, you only pay the insurance deductible!
Chelloveck
I give up on debugging. From now on, SIGSEGV is a feature.
I know how they feel: Toyota's quoting me $400 to fix a loose sun visor because they have to take the entire @&%#! side of the car apart to get to it.
Table-ized A.I.
they can borrow mine. I never use it.
I read your comment before reading your title and assumed you meant your knob.
--- Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity
Don't you think dissolving the space shuttle is overkill?
Knobs do not belong in vacuum cleaners. And once it warms up, there's no pulling it out of anything. There was one bad evening I did get my knob suck it something. Don't mix up lube and super glue.
If this condition lasts for more than 4 hours, call a doctor.
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
I used to do tech support at Honeywell. Had real rocket scientists there. Called them my brilliant idiots.
I drank what? -- Socrates
...you read that as "Stuck Know Causes Serious Windows Damage To Atlantis", and think "How the hell do they know what OS they were using on that sunken island?"
I just know realized, that even my question does not make any sense...
Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
I for one am completely comfortable with calling in a local contractor and installing some new money-saving vinyl windows which will be the only thing between me and seventeen thousand mile per hour wind.
... the engineers working on this ... have thought of just about anything ... Drill/cut? ... Pressurize orbiter? ... Apply cold to the knob to shrink it?
How about tying a string to the knob (so it doesn't get away), reheating the orbiter, and pressurizing it - recreating the situation (except for zero G) that let it float in in the first place?
Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
Look, do you want the knob back or not?
<Slaps Head> Of course! The answer is in the article. Phone NASA and tell them to read it.
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
The radio that came with my 99 Grand Am has an incandescent bulb to light up the display. No way to easily replace it, in order to fix it I had to pull the whole radio apart. Tell me that's not planned obsolescence. Oh and if I ever find the guy that designed the headlights I'm going to kick him square in the nuts.