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Sperm Travels Faster Toward Attractive Females

Posted by samzenpus on from the like-father-like-gamete dept.

A new study has shown that even sperm can be superficial. Researchers found that males of many animal species, including humans, can adjust the speed and effectiveness of their sperm by regulating the amount of seminal fluid they produce during copulation. The determining factor on that amount of fluid seems to be whether the male finds the female attractive.

27 of 347 comments (clear)

  1. Research by sopssa · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've actually done some research on this aswell. On majority of times when I found a good clip, I had to clean my monitor. This didn't happen when the clip was bad or the women on it unattractive. Hmm, wonder where they sell speedometers...

    1. Re:Research by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Maybe the moderators misread it; perhaps their monitors were grimy.

    2. Re:Research by X0563511 · · Score: 5, Informative

      quick tip: angle it back, so it doesn't land all over your shit, and lands on you. YOU can take a shower. Your computer, desk, and other such things cannot.

      --
      For large sets, this will be our guide even unto death, for the LORD will work for each type of data it is applied to...
    3. Re:Research by khellendros1984 · · Score: 5, Funny

      And close your eyes and mouth. I really can't stress that enough.

      --
      It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
  2. For animals yes,,, but... by blahplusplus · · Score: 5, Insightful

    ... I can see a problem with this study if applying it's conclusions to people. I imagine the amount of sperm has to do more with being extremely turned on and not just attractiveness, you can be with a beautiful girl and not be that turned on because you don't get along that well, and you can be with an average girl who you connect with on a fundamental level that turns you on way more then the prettier girl.

    1. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      also, don't forget about anal

    2. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Maxo-Texas · · Score: 5, Insightful

      That's because scorching hot females who like sex move to places like hollywood or palm beach or even go into business in some way (even if it is only as a vegas show girl). And if you happen to hook up with them, they are likely to sleep around on you ( and not just women- attractive men also sleep around a lot ). Hot women have different expectations of life-- just like people who are born and grow up rich.

      They also have pretty severe defense mechanisms having been hit on and flattered since they were 13 by everyone. Meanwhile, the more normal females who didn't get as much flattery are still open to it. In a way, being pretty sucks because they have trouble accepting compliments.

      Never got that lucky (or unlucky?) until I was in my late 30's. And then I hooked up with a hotty who later turned out to have been a stripper back in her 20s and tho it was incredibly fun for 10 years, it ended as horrifically as you can imagine (maybe more so). Before then, I'd have a decently average hot high school sweetheart (so I missed the whole bar scene/college party scene) and then a nicely hot dancing lady who was really sweet but had terminal religious problems with me (I'm not religious-- sometimes it would be easier if I was).

      --
      She was like chocolate when she drank... semi-sweet at first and then increasingly bitter.
    3. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by swb · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Spoken like someone who's never had a shitty lay from a hot girl...

      I think there's some folk wisdom beyond the obvious "sour grapes" rationalization. In my experience, many attractive women have a tendency towards narcissism, egomania and a sense of entitlement. *If* she deems you worthy enough to fuck you, that decision is about all the effort she'll put into the entire experience -- you're just supposed to be some grateful and in awe you won't need her to suck your dick or otherwise engage.

      Look at the Paris Hilton sex tape -- in many scenes, she's entirely vacant and almost passive while Solomon hammers away with a pretty decent bit of equipment. She's more obsessed with her own appearance, like she's posing.

      Now, are all attractive women head cases? No, and the ones that are I'm usually willing to believe are victims of a society that REWARDS superficial beauty and encourages the narcissism, and aren't pathologically evil. And in some cases, sex with a hot girl does have its own internal narcissistic reward that colors the sex and makes it "better". But I think there's enough to link beauty and psychology to make it a phenomenon that can be found out there.

      Surprisingly less common is the idea that plain/ugly girls are great lays. The logic being that they have to be better lays because they can't coast on their looks. Probably also nominally true, but probably less so since many less attractive people are more socially withdrawn and less unlikely to be available, plus the demotivating factor of bad looks may be stronger than the motivating factor of good looks.

    4. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by atraintocry · · Score: 5, Funny

      she's entirely vacant

      In her defense, she appears that way in her movie and TV work as well.

  3. lol by syrinx · · Score: 5, Funny

    The best part of this article is the tag "!newsfornerds".

    --
    Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
  4. Re:Speed vs inner beauty by sopssa · · Score: 5, Funny

    You would think so, considering thats only what the sperm sees.

  5. Re:HUH? by Hogwash+McFly · · Score: 5, Funny

    So you're saying that the goggles actually do something?

    --
    Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
  6. Re:Too small a sample size. by Kiaser+Zohsay · · Score: 5, Funny

    Unfortunately, it will probably be a double-blind study, so you've got a fifty-fifty shot at winding up in the control group.

    --
    I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning.
  7. HE SHOOTS! by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 5, Funny

    HE SCORES!

    Or vice versa, if I read the article correctly...

    --
    "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
  8. This is bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Combined with this research, which shows that ugly men release more sperm, the chance of conception appears to be highest when a stunningly attractive woman sleeps with an truly ugly man. Somebody please think of the children.

    1. Re:This is bad by SaDan · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hrm... I have cute kids, and my wife is pretty decent on the eyes as well.

      Shit. I'm the ugly one. :-(

  9. Re:Too small a sample size. by Arancaytar · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is Slashdot. You take what you can get.

  10. Re:Fertility by DinDaddy · · Score: 5, Funny

    I also found it pretty interesting that sperm quality can be improved by daily masturbation.

    Why? Everything is improved by daily masturbation.

  11. Re:How do they know? by gstoddart · · Score: 5, Informative

    How does a sperm "know" if a female is attractive? Or are we talking about money shots from porn films here?

    Despite the misleading headline, they say that males seem to be able to adjust -- most likely related to level of hormones or arousal.

    Nobody is suggesting the sperm "know" anything, merely that the human glandular system is complex, and this is another example. :-P

    Cheers

    --
    Lost at C:>. Found at C.
  12. Wonder if this will work. by wilburx · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't worry, I don't need to pull out because you're ugly.

  13. Some sperm will even find you in a pool.. by Nukenbar · · Score: 5, Funny

    That is, if you are a 13 year old "virgin".

  14. if you are talking ejaculate volume by circletimessquare · · Score: 5, Insightful

    in the animal kingdom and in humans, you need to talk about testicle size

    testicle size is a very good indicator of how monogamous females are. for example, chimpanzee females are very promiscuous. therefore, male chimpanzees have huge testicles. why? well, if the idea is you have to leave some offspring in this world, the only valid route you can take to ensure that with promiscuous females is to have a huge ejaculate load, to literally flood out competing males' sperm

    it follows then that attractive females, with more frequent mating possibilities, require more "output" to ensure your reproductive success. so, biologically, it may not be a matter of aesthetic pleasure leading to greater sperm volume, but simply a matter of fear: you need to dump a huge load to make sure your sperm outcompetes all the other mating opportunities an attractive female can command

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  15. In other words... by Ragnarok21 · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...drink until she's cute, but stop before the wedding.

  16. Sperm? They Can be Superficial? by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 5, Funny

    Does the article posting mean this in a topological meaning? :-)

    I take that to mean on the chest and face. (.Y.)

    --
    "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
  17. Re:Too small a sample size. by Hogwash+McFly · · Score: 5, Funny

    *shrug* I don't mind. I've had enough of the placebo...

    --
    Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
  18. From the article: by drunken_boxer777 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Males may alter the velocity of sperm they allocate to copulations by strategically firing their left and right ejaculatory ducts, which can operate independently," they explained.

    "I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire one ejaculatory duct or two?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya?"

  19. Re:Doing the Dog by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    It took me three tries to realize you weren't being literal.