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Huge Unidentified Organic Blob Floating Around Alaska
Z80xxc! writes "The Anchorage Daily News reports that a 15 mile-long blob of unknown, 'gooey,' probably organic material is floating past communities on Alaska's North Slope. The US Coast Guard sent pollution experts to investigate, who determined that it was not an oil spill or other type of pollution, but were unable to determine what it is. A sample is currently being analyzed by experts in Anchorage, while the blob is following the current northwards."
It's probably a shoggoth.
It's that thing that killed Tasha Yar!
I took this job on a crab boat, I was on there for like 2 months, there wasn't any internet, I forgot to pack any Playboys, I finally found an old SI Swimsuit issue in the galley....I didn't know there would much!
- Randy Marsh
Quick, someone give it a jellybean!
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It looks like a bunch of seaweed and an algal bloom.
Too obvious?
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
Alaska's fucked.
Lemmings are silly; dinosaurs are extinct.
...."ALIENS!"
Al-Gore warned you all that global warming would awaken man-bear-smogmonster, and now his dire warning has come to pass! Take shelter people of Earth, only Godzilla can save us now (assuming the Japanese don't kill the giant lizard who always saves them, God(zilla) knows why the hell they always try to kill the lizard who always saves their ass.)
"Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad." [Ecclesiastes 7:3]
Why am I suddenly reminded of Caddyshack?
So you see there is a big, slimy thing floating in the water and you don't like it.. What do you do?
a, Take probes, issue some press reports and analyse it while letting in float around.
b, No nothing, let someone else deal with it.
c, Clean up the god damn ugly slime before it starts to eat Alaska, and analyse it later.
d, Make a documentary on how the big unidentified slimy thing ate Alaska and make profit with it.
I can see it from my back porch!
and puked.
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
Let's see. RingTFA says "A mysterious glob of unknown material up to 12 miles long has appeared off Alaska's northern coast." Later, "spotted a long strand of the stuff and followed it for about 15 miles, shooting video from the air." Slashdot headline says "a 15 mile-long blob of unknown, "gooey", probably organic material"
Reading is FUNdamental!
Well I'm sure Gabe Newell appreciates the sentiment, but what about the crap floating off Alaska?
You know the conservative attention whore is going to try to capitalize on this somehow,... like trying to connect this blob with the second coming of Christ, or the rapture, or something? Or, she'll go for the Ghostbusters explanation, saying that the blob contains all the evil left wing energy from California that's been seeping into the Ocean over the past 50 years from all the liberals and fags. She'll then hire the FagBusters from Kansas, led by Rev. Fred Phelps, arm them with unlicensed nuclear accelerators, to come up with a solution. Naturally, our only defense against this will be some dickless guy from the EPA,... ;-)
There's a reason they are called Sperm Whales..........I'm just saying.
The article stated it was "up to 12 miles long" and that a team "followed it [by helicopter] for about 15 miles." Granted, the average digestee probably does not care if the blob devouring him is 12 or 15 miles long.
We're done here.
A bullet may have your name on it but splash damage is addressed "To whom it may concern."
She knew she couldn't do what had to be done as the Governor so she resigned in order to put together a rag tag group of misfits with the skills necessary to save the world.
One Family, One helicopter, One Mission.
Coming this summer! The Palins Hunt in...
Die Nature Die!
Insert pithy comment here.
She was advised to create a Blog, but heard blob
The power vacuum left by Palin is attracting all kinds of scum.
Is this true?
Promote proofreading. Don't mod up sloppy posts.
My completely scientifically unfounded guess would be that it's what's left of some sort of bio-matter that was trapped long ago and was pushed up by warming waters or released from receding ice.
"It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.
Beware of the blob, it creeps
And leaps and glides and slides
Across the floor
Right through the door
And all around the wall
A splotch, a blotch
Be careful of the blob
-The Five Blobs
Huh? It's slimy, greasy and absolutely disgusting, so far so good, but it's neither a senator nor a lobbyist, so why bother?
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Yes it's true. The EPA guy man has no dick.
"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research." - Einstein
Yes it's true. This man has no dick.
Really?
Then again, I'm from Alaska. Maybe there are a bunch of gray, gooey, congealed whales up here, and I've never noticed.
Those who advocate genocide deserve every protection afforded by law, and none afforded by common human decency.
I question democracy as a suitable way to form a government if she does that and yet STILL gets votes. Because then it's obvious that stupid people must not take part in important decisions, like, say, forming a government.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Short story/short film in Stephen King's Creepshow 2. These campers swim out to a fixed raft in the middle of a lake and some goop, not unlike the goop in the article, follows them. One person touches it, and it leeches up her arm and pulls her in. This sort of continues for the next 10 minutes or so until there hero and heroine make out. It's Stephen King so it doesn't end well.
My point? Don't touch it. And don't let it touch you.
She wont.
Unlike Al Gore, what the parent describes is not Palin's M/O. But just for the sake of argument. If she did pull a stunt like that, then yes...I would agree with you.
Life is not for the lazy.
Right President Obama will offer to meet with the blob in an atmosphere of mutual respect.
Okay now that we have done both sides of the stupid poltical comments we can move one.
See my blog http://ilovecookes.blogspot.com/ for light hearted technical information.
You know the conservative attention whore
Is she really, or does she just get mentioned by everyone, everywhere pointlessly, such as in a thread discussing something weird in the ocean?
You might be *part* of the problem, sir.
Seriously?
"Welcome! To access adn.com content and features for free, you must be a registered user."
First, a wag of the finger to the OP for linking to something I have to register a plethora of information just to read "for free".
Second, a wag of the finger for ADN for requiring so *much* of my information.
Here's a nice link: blob news story on juneauempire
The young-uhns don't appear to know what you're talking about.
Sure, but the the real question is how long has it been killing people, and why doesn't it eat their feet?
-- The reader anything less than completely failing to not misunderstand this sig is cursed.
Is it certified?
I took a big dump overboard this morning. Sorry about that.
No sig today...
*runs up, panting*
Guys, check it out, I got a great topical Ron Paul joke!
What, we're done with the political jokes? Aw man, late to the party again...
The enemies of Democracy are
Then again, I'm in Philadelphia and have no idea what whale blood looks like
Now you know.
Blank until
Nerds and geeks are famously socially awkward, and you're disappointed that they (we!) aren't making good jokes?
you'll find them at your walmart, brushing both sides of the aisles as they ride on the battery powered vehicles intended for "disabled" people. we call them old honky tubbalard bitches heres here in Chicago.
Welcome to Slashdot!
Thank you for improving the quality of our public discourse with your very splendid and worthwhile comment.
It's her daughters placenta.
"I hope you know how very lucky you are to know me, because I am so incredibly incredible."
Nobody knows for sure what the gunk is, but Petty Officer 1st Class Terry Hasenauer says the Coast Guard is sure what it is not.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it!
"Well, You could believe Mr. Pecker..."
"...the name is PECK"
"Or you could accept the fact that Alaska is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions."
"I hope you know how very lucky you are to know me, because I am so incredibly incredible."
Could be a banker. Has this theory been tested? Throw some taxpayer money at it. If it keeps it without lending it, whines about pay raise restrictions, then asks for more, we have our answer.
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
They sure are cute when they're little.
Have gnu, will travel.
I recall reading about a recent algae fertilization attempt to reduce atmospheric greenhouse gases but that failed because the algae that the experimenters thought would sink to the ocean floor actually remained bouyant. Could this blob be the result of that experiment?
...Someone in the Republican party threw water on her, she melted, and that's what's left...
Around 10-15 years ago, the same thing happened off the Icelandic Westfjords, which is the north-west part of Iceland. At first, it was believed to be a spill of the waste matter from fish oil production, but then scientists determined it was caused by a mass death of some species of plankton, which are really small, almost microscopic crustaceans or similar. This particular species was quite oily and died off en masse because of increased sea temperatures or some such.
As I said, I can't remember any useful details, but that's more or less what happened back then, sometime near the end of last century off the coast of North-West Iceland.
J. Random BOFH
is a container ship captain trying to figure out what happened to those five containers full of Jello mix he was supposed to deliver.
...perhaps Rush Limbaugh had liposuction?