Man Accuses Cat of Downloading Child Porn

bruce_the_loon writes "They have blamed viruses. They have blamed neighbors. They have accused police of planting it. In rare cases, they have admitted downloading it. This is the first time someone has accused a cat of downloading child porn onto their computer. This seems like a defense almost too stupid to be made up."

Comments

Sarah Palin: GOP-Bitch-Witch

[Anonymous Coward]

GOP-spokesman-philosopher Sarah Palin has suggested that panels determine the fate of genetically-defected offspring. Such a suggestion is very commendable; however, it is too exclusive to be practical. To make Palin's suggestion more egalitarian, the panel should include ALL members of the Palin pedigree in order to not burden the human gene pool with their defective bloodline.

Gather round, kids. Settle down now. And no hitting. I'm going to tell you a story about the way that the erroneous things Sarah Palin says about me are sometimes entertaining, oftentimes sad, and frequently thoroughly pathetic. Those readers of brittle disposition might do well to await a ride on the next emotionally indulgent transport; this one is scheduled nonstop over rocky roads. As soon as you're strapped in I'll announce something to the effect of how Palin makes a lot of exaggerated claims. All of these claims need to be scrutinized as carefully as a letter of recommendation from a job applicant's mother. Consider, for example, Palin's claim that laws are meant to be broken. The fact of the matter is that stoicism has served as the justification for the butchering, torture, and enslavement of more people than any other "ism". That's why it's Palin's favorite; it makes it easy for her to eliminate the plebiscitary mechanisms which ensure a free and democratic society.

If Palin had her way, schools would teach students that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us. This is not education but indoctrination. It prevents students from learning about how a central fault line runs through each of Palin's hatchet jobs. Specifically, Palin periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual. I can't follow Palin's pretzel logic. I do, however, know that she has been trying for quite some time to convince us that big emotions come from big words. I, for one, suggest she take this rotting ordure and dump it where she and her fellow sleazy buffoons congregate. At least then we could tackle the multinational death machine that she is currently constructing without having to worry that she will make us the helpless puppets of our demographic labels.

If I hear Palin's pals say, "Diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors" one more time, I'm certainly going to throw up. I have begged Palin's co-conspirators to step forth and break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Palin might retaliate? The most appealing theory has to do with the way that Palin wants to offer stones instead of bread to the emotional and spiritual hungers of the world. Who does she think she is? I mean, her claim that men are spare parts in the social repertoireâ"mere optional extrasâ"is factually unsupported and politically motivated.

When surveyed, only two percent of Palin's myrmidons agreed with the statement, "All of Palin's views about life come straight out of 'Teach Yourself Antipluralism in 30 Minutes'." This is a frightening statistic to those who rely on, or simply support, social tolerance and open-mindedness. Palin may be sincere, but she is also sincerely vindictive. Regardless of what she seems to claim, Palin's concept of team play is sideline sulking. Listen up: In a recent essay, she stated that everyone with a different set of beliefs from hers is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. Since the arguments she made in the rest of her essay are based in part on that assumption, she should be aware that it just isn't true. Not only that, but if she feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing her, then that's just too darn bad. Palin's arrogance has brought this upon herself.

So, Palin, maybe the problem is not with unreasonable beggars, but with you. I was once asked, "

Re:Testing

[palegray.net]

FAIL

Re:This happens a lot

[davidsyes]

Can i get a moderator (or rescuer) here? I am marked 0, redundant, and i cannot find a single post prior to 1136 that preceded my comment so as to make mine redundant.

Curious/Interestingly, there are TWO posts "kitty-porn" and neither is marked redundant.

Seems to me /. needs a tag for "report abuse". Seems i have been hit again by a foe.

Anyone care to remode me to just nothing instead of redundant? And, be on the lookout for abuses of others?

Re:This happens a lot

[davidsyes]

Fuck it. There is some SERIOUS assholery here. FUCK karma. I'm burning some, aiming flames whatever bast-itches targeting me.