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Up To 90 Percent of US Money Has Traces of Cocaine
mmmscience writes "Scientists have found that up to 90% of US paper money has some cocaine contamination, up from the 67% mark measured two years ago. Looking at bills from 17 cities, it's no surprise that the city with the highest level was Washington DC, where up to 95% of bills gathered there tested positive. From a global standpoint, both Canada and Brazil tested rather high (85% and 80%, respectively), but China and Japan were well behind the curve at 20% and 12%. The researchers hope that studies such as these will be of help to law enforcement agencies that are attempting to understand the growth and flow of drug use in communities."
Apples and oranges. Japan doesn't have Lindsey Lohan as a citizen.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Looking at bills from 17 cities, it's no surprise that the city with the highest level was Washington DC, where up to 95% of bills gathered there tested positive. From a global standpoint, both Canada and Brazil tested rather high (85% and 80%, respectively), But China and Japan were well behind the curve at 20% and 12%. The researchers hope that studies such as these will be of help to law enforcement agencies that are attempting to understand the growth and flow of drug use in communities.
Nope, sorry, has nothing to do with growth and flow. Merely that China and Japan are better at properly labeling and storing their valuable narcotics and opiates. Given the cost of the substance, you would think the American & Canadian coke heads would be better at keeping it separate from other things. But when you need to carry only coke and money with you ... the cost of that second briefcase probably outweighs the amount of coke you lose just shoving money and coke into one briefcase. Being able to do it in a frenzied haphazard manner isn't just how it's done in Martin Scorsese films, it's a necessary skill of coke users and traffickers. I wonder what "essence of G-string" levels respective countries have on their smallest denominational bills?
My work here is dung.
This has to be why people love the smell of their money. Just hold it up to your nose and sniff... and you get a minor contact high from the drugs.
... to money
when Bush recommended an 'economic stimulus'.
"I bless every day that I continue to live, for every day is pure profit."
I roll up 100 dollar bills to snort up other 100 dollar bills. Its a vicious circle.
Be you Admins? nay, we are but lusers!
I don't know about you, but the cocaine isn't the thing that worries me - I'm more worried about the fact that 90% of the bills I use have been up someone's nose!
From a global standpoint, both Canada and Brazil tested rather high...
Hah!
Come on - we want 100% from you.
And if you were in the elevator with me this morning, you got more than trace amounts of late night taco bell.
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
"Up to 90% of Scientists Studying Money Also Do Cocaine."
The extra street value of cocaine being added to the dollar should make it stronger against other currencies.
it's no surprise that the city with the highest level was Washington DC, where up to 95% of bills gathered there tested positive.
I always suspected the politicians were on crack, I guess now we have proof...
Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
Dude! Dont' sniff it! Don't forget "ass pennies". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ass_pennies#Ass_Pennies "I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years! That's 3,000 pennies a day; 21,000 pennies a week; 1,092,000 pennies a year! To date that's 12,012,000 pennies, 8 times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day! All of you! You all handle my ass pennies! Oh, I laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your pennies have been in my ass. You hear me? Your pennies have been in my ass!"
"I believe in Karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it." : Dogbert
I see Plan Columbia has been a smashing success, just like all the other attempts at Prohibition 2.0: This Time Without Constitutional Justification.
That's not true. If I'm growing pot in my backyard for my own consumption it's clearly going to affect interstate commerce and is therefore subject to regulation by the Federal Government.
I mean, think about it. If I'm growing it myself then I'm not buying it from someone else who got it across state lines. We also shouldn't forget the impact on interstate commerce that comes from the munchies. It's a safe assumption the ingredients in those Doritos and Big Macs had to cross one or more state lines at some point during production.
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
If it true that 20% of the people control 80% of the money, then it is clear that the those 20% are cocaine users, while the rest of us use crack, which is mostly filler ingredients. And, since we don't have the money, this explains why crack is so prosecuted. No defense money means that the public prosecutors don't have to work very hard to get a conviction.
"She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
Plus every flat surface in any bar or nightclub restroom will test positive for either Cocaine or WD40 & Vaseline :)
Build a Man a Fire, and He'll Be Warm for a Day. Set a Man on Fire, and He'll Be Warm for the Rest of His Life.
It could just be that the Japanese are just more meticulous than Americans when laundering their money.
Can you be Even More Awesome?!
I wonder what "essence of G-string" levels respective countries have on their smallest denominational bills?
Thanks, now I will be wondering what "Essence of stripper schlong" my 1's have...shudder
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
We use straws for the same reason.
Man i wanna be a ATM maintenance guy! you get free cocaine as a bonus while working!