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First American Internet Addiction Treatment Center
An anonymous reader writes "Taking their lead from China, two Americans have opened the first US-based Internet Addiction treatment center in Fall City, Wash. — ironically close to Redmond (Microsoft's hometown). The center, called reStart: Internet Addiction Recovery Program, is a 45-day treatment center where, for a steep set of fees, people can be cured of their addiction to the Web. After paying the $200 application fee, addicts are charged $14,500 for the 45 days, an additional $800 for a screening, and more for extra services, like kayaking ($1,575)."
No wonder they cure Internet addiction, after paying 15 grand, you couldn't even afford dial up.
who prays for Satan? Who in 18 centuries has had the humanity to pray for the 1 sinner that needed it most? ~Mark Twain
People will now have to pay monthly fee for not being connected to the Internet as well?
Ezekiel 23:20
Can I sign up online?
I must give a nod to this highly creative solution to net addiction: charge the victim so much money they can afford neither a computer nor a net connection! The elegance of the solution is awe-inspiring.
Proud member of the Weirdo-American community.
I'm surprised it's not just a room full of prostitutes and an all you can eat plan for a week.
it's called my back yard. The director? My wife. Both are very effective.
How much does a fatal beating go for? Are the prices competitive, or should I import one from china?
I had for a very extended period of time an addiction to an online game. I was very antisocial and i basically lived to play. Talking to Cosette helped me learn how to look at my addiction from another perspective. She got me to try to stop and i did. Now I am a much happier person and I have made an incredible amount of progress in my life. I have so many more friends, and I find that things come more easily to me, and I find joy in more things. Putting my life into one thing was horrible for me and now I have learned to apply myself, and I have broken my addiction. Thanks alot --Conner
Guide to the perfect testimonial:
Step 1: Use generalized words when talking about time. For example, instead of saying "for two years," use the term "very extended period of time."
Step 2: Mention that you now have a new perspective due to talking with --insert name here--. Don't go into detail about what your perspective is now or what it was then.
Step 3: Instead of detailing what steps you took to stop, just say - "she got me to try to stop and i did."
Step 4: Claim that you are happier
Step 5: Claim you now have bajillions of friends!
Step 6: ?????
Step 7: Profit!
Obligatory xkcd
"I bless every day that I continue to live, for every day is pure profit."
I have so many more friends, and I find that things come more easily to me
Obviously, she broke his WoW addiction by getting him addicted to Facebook!
So the program is ideal. Screw $1,500 of kayaking - think $15,000 of "exotic roleplaying." Man, this spa thing could be a winner - 45 days at a hotel-like spa with outside activities? Set it up right and Blue Cross will even pay for it.
I am so there! Sorry, boss, I need 45 days off to cure my internet addiction - I'll be kayaking, deep-sea fishing, and TFing hookers. No prob, I hate to do it, but it's the only way to reconnect with reality. Oh, and you are paying, don't make me invoke the "Americans with disabilities" law.
ad . dic . tion, n.: The state or practice of engaging in an activity that does not earn money for one's boss. See antonymns at "well-adjusted" and "slave."
Naw, irony would be if they offered classes online.