Garlic Farmer Wards Off High-Speed Internet

DocVM writes "A Nova Scotia farmer is opposing the construction of a microwave tower for fear it will eventually mutate his organic garlic crop. Lenny Levine, who has been planting and harvesting garlic by hand on his Annapolis Valley land since the 1970s, is afraid his organic crop could be irradiated if EastLink builds a microwave tower for wireless high-speed internet access a few hundred meters from his farm."

Comments

No rationality required?

[Anonymous Coward]

"I think over a period of time it will change the DNA of the garlic because it shakes up the molecules."

I wonder why he's concerned about the garlic DNA, but not his own? In other news, I objected to a wind farm cos I was worried about the flying saucers crashing into it...

Re:No rationality required?

[Chris Burke]

In other news, I objected to a wind farm cos I was worried about the flying saucers crashing into it...

Oh geeze, not this FUD again... Look, yes, flying saucer crashes were a problem with some older, ill-conceived wind farms. But with a little planning, and modern designs, this is essentially a non-issue for the wind farms of today. The most important thing is not to put cattle, sheep, or drunken hillbillies underneath the windfarms so the aliens aren't attracted to them. Next is the design itself. The old scaffolding ones didn't look like anything important to the aliens. The new single-pole ones were designed to look like an alien arm raised up. And a raised arm with all three digits spinning in a circle is a very rude gesture and it's traditional to ignore the offender. So the problem solves itself.

The Dangers of Wi-Fi

[moj0e]

I totally agree with the farmer! From my research, it even has dangerous effects
on humans!

Here are some of the symptoms that it causes:

1. Carpal tunnel
2. Distaste for light
3. A tendency to shout out: "First Post"
4. Loss/Gain of gold pieces
5. Disturbing images of cats
6. Lots of accidents that subsequently end up online.
7. Bad writing.

Can anyone think of other symptoms?

Re:The Dangers of Wi-Fi

[Serenissima]

8. Sarcastic lists! :D

Re:Idiots

[Chris Burke]

His crop is already being irradiated...BY THE SUN. Idiots. Sheesh.

Yeah, and that radiation makes his crops grow to many times their original size! Exactly as 60s sci-fi predicts! So now who's the idiot, huh?

Oh no

[lymond01]

There are times when I wonder what the world might have been like if we hadn't pushed high speed microwave-based internet access in Nova Scotia. It's not like there weren't other solutions -- satellite, possibly. Cabling if they could have found someone to foot the bill. But there was a rush to make it happen, as usual with big business looking for their next tax haven. Who would have thought the entire world would pay for that bit of greed? Who would have thought we'd never dare look at the sun again.

The end can't be too far away. There aren't many of us left, down here in the caves. All the moss has been eaten. The water may last awhile longer, but without food....No one who's left the caves to search for food, no matter how desperate or self-assured, has ever come back. Perhaps our greatest fear, moreso than even starvation, is that the Garlics will be able to trace one of those people back to our hideout. We've taken precautions, of course, by choosing a tunnel system with a downdraft. At least that way, we can smell them coming.

Re:My guess is...

[catbertscousin]

But if they put a wi-fi tower next to him, the vampires are going to congregate there to check their MySpace pages and the next thing you know they'll develop an immunity to garlic. This dangerous cycle must be stopped!