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DHS Ponders "Improving" Terrorism Alert System
An anonymous reader writes "The DHS's color-coded terrorism risk warning system has often been criticized on a number of grounds. However, it seems that at last DHS has taken note of these criticisms and is finally planning to fix one of its problems. Which one? Well, since the two lowest levels have never been used in the history of the program, the solution is obvious: just get rid of them! In the new system, the lowest level would be yellow, 'guarded,' representing 'A constant state of vigilance to protect against a terrorist attack.' While it's nice that they're at least no longer maintaining a pretense of it being for anything other than fear-mongering, I don't think this was the kind of change most people were hoping for."
Green - Dangerous minorities in the area. Lock the doors.
Yellow - asians are messing with our computers again. Use Linux.
Orange - Mexican drug gang wars are spilling over in to the United States. Wear Kevlar.
Red - Socialist President. Abandon the country.
These terror alert levels write themselves.
Green = "Go ahead, let your guard down, see what happens" Yellow = "There is a new budget up for vote, and if you don't give DHS more money the terrorists win" Red = "Imminent threat, only direct intervention by Steven Segal can prevent global disaster" Black = "We told you this would happen if you didn't give DHS more money"
That's not exactly true. DHS Sets Security Alert Level To Green For 8 Seconds
Obligatory Red Dwarf:
Rimmer: Kryten, take us to Blue Alert. Kryten: Are you sure, sir? It does mean changing the bulb.
Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.