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Crew For Final Scheduled Space Shuttle Mission Selected
Toren Altair writes "NASA has assigned the crew for the last scheduled space shuttle mission, targeted to launch in September 2010. The flight to the International Space Station will carry a pressurized logistics module to the station. Veteran shuttle commander and retired Air Force Col. Steven W. Lindsey will command the eight-day mission, designated STS-133. Air Force Col. Eric A. Boe will serve as the pilot; it will be his second flight as a shuttle pilot. Mission Specialists are shuttle mission veteran Air Force Col. Benjamin Alvin Drew, Jr., and long-duration spaceflight veterans Michael R. Barratt, Army Col. Timothy L. Kopra and Nicole P. Stott."
Reader Al points out other NASA news that the space agency's engineers have been testing a sleek new lunar rover that will be part of their eventual return to the moon. A video of the rover in action has been posted as well.
I was hoping they would pick me, but the didn't. Darn.
FIRST!!!11
It feels good when I slip it in.
Hopefully not memorable like Challenger or Columbia.
Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.
INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.
MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most
Those would-be astronauts who were not chosen are welcome to join the crews of Apollo 18, 19, and 20 in the lounge, where they will receive some lovely parting gifts.
http://alternatives.rzero.com/
... the USA won't have the ability to put its own astronauts into orbit by choice (as opposed to by circumstance after shuttle accidents).
Way to go NASA.
*sigh*
...they could have traded the Shuttle in towards a nice Hybrid.
That's is always how it starts. The last scheduled missions are always the ones that get lost in black holes, freak accidents where they get frozen or some such then they all appear in the future with every one being apes or something or thrust into another dimension.
I DON'T want to be them! Something's going to happen!
It's NOT me! It's the meds! I'm on 1000mg of Fukitol.
Now if we only had a rocket to get it to the moon...
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
kill all niggers
5th grade dodgeball.
FAIL!!!11
And yeah I'm bitter that they didn't pick me.
Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
America's fall from grace, causes humanity's fall from space. Will all progress be backwards from now on?
Retiring the Shuttle programe is called technological progress!?! Look at us mere mortals still flying supersonically in Concorde. Oh wait, now we all have to use slow subsonic 747's and Airbus'. THAT'S progress for you.
Take Nobody's Word For It.
"Space, the Final frontier...
Its last mission, to Boldly go where no man will go again.
Avast ye scurvy unbelever, NASA has plans for some of the finest ships to sail the voids! Ye may think that the budget flounders but by God she'll settle straight yet! When America's budgetary concerns pick up this not having money blarney will sink and her captain keelhauled, and cash will flow from the grand admiral's treasury! ye haven't seen anything like the ships that will sail when the economic blow heads south and the seas are smooth again. Avast I say!
If video games influenced behavior the Pac Man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems.
This is not how the Face of Boe got his name.
Or maybe so.
a nigger chick with a bigger dick?
Viewing the rover video has convinced me the US will go throuh with this space program. Real work, real schedules, real tests, capable technology. I wish NASA and the US all the best with the upcoming establishment of the lunar base.
17779 eligible voters in a district, 17779 'vote' as one. This is Russia.
Didn't he really mean analogous environment, as in 'our desert terrain and texture is analogous to the surface of the moon'. Or did he mean the moon isn't really digital after all?
I remember waiting for the Space Shuttle to come to be...and remember them naming the first one "Enterprise" just seemed so right. But that was a mock-up; dammit.
Now I suppose I get to wait until the new series gets in place, and watch the fireworks through the *unscheduled* missions, because it'll never be ready on time.
--- For a good time mail uce@ftc.gov
So what happens to those astronauts after this? They've got training and a skillset that has essentially been forced into obsolescence. Will NASA sell the shuttles to other countries and then perhaps those countries will bring in astronauts as consultants? Will the astronauts continue to go up, affiliated with NASA, but guests in other countries' programs as we have had guests in ours? Or will they sign on with private programs to help/lend their experience (Are they even allowed, or is there a non-compete agreement with NASA or something of the like?)? Or will they simply retire and fade away?
http://www.tenjou.net/
it's interesting how both the Moon and the Earth will be getting electric vehicles at about the same time. That first lunar dealership will have a tough time with initial sales, but it should pick up when moon people realise it's one of the few places to get oxygen too.
Nicole P. Stott - Uhm, oh yes indeed.
FULLY qualified, smart, intelligent and yet still Saaaamokin!
Hey KID! Yeah you, get the fuck off my lawn!
What's with the "space race is over, now it's time for the space exploration race"? We've been exploration space for decades, people. 'Exploration' does not SPECIFICALLY mean going out into space and physically exploring it with our bodies. Exploration is gaining a better understanding of something through scientific means (such as space probes, cameras, satellites, and robots), which is something that is not at all new. The race that will be starting would be more of a "who can land a dude on another planet first" kind of race. Granted, it's still exploration - just not the only kind.
The entire crew will face odds of about 1 in 200 of returning on a soyuz or being killed due to a catastrophic failure.
The shuttle is great and all but really has a few serious weaknesses so its time to move on.
TFA says the rover is Lunar-Electric. I assume this means it's a hybrid that runs partly on electricity and partly on lunacy.
- RG>
Hey pal, this isn't a pleasantforest, so don't waste my time with pleasantries!
I dare the pilot to do a barrel roll on reentry.