Slashdot Mirror
Radar Map of Buried Mars Layers Confirms Climate Cycles
Matt_dk writes "A radar instrument on the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has essentially looked below the surface of the Red Planet's north-polar ice cap, and found data to confirm theoretical models of Martian climate swings during the past few million years. The new, three-dimensional map using 358 radar observations provides a cross-sectional view of the north-polar layered deposits. 'The radar has been giving us spectacular results,' said Jeffrey Plaut of JPL, a member of the science team for the Shallow Radar instrument. 'We have mapped continuous underground layers in three dimensions across a vast area.'"
Douglas Quaid knew it already.
The newspeak term for that now is "global climate change".
A re-education officer will be along shortly to your location.
Strangely, the outcry from Martian global warming deniers has been muted at best. Perhaps they haven't gotten the news yet.
The Council of Elders has declared tomorrow a day of commemoration. K'breel, Speaker for the Council, spake thus:
"By Gfa'rdmn, a little over half a year ago, our forces celebrated victory over the plumb-bob-waving monstrosity from the North, having slowly chilled it to death. The Invader from the Plains sits enmired in our sandpit. The Twin by the Crater has begun to stir, but it stood paralyzed by fear for sixty days by the mere sight of the spent husk of a Kinetic Bombardment Force component."
"So thorough has been our dominance of the blue planet's terror craft that they have not since dared to touch our red sands with their filthy metallic fingertips. Yes, their robotic spies continue to flail wildly around our great world - but despite dozens of passes over the pole, and countless radiofrequency emanations beamed down in an effort to re-establish communications with frozen hulk of the Invader from the North, their efforts have revealed nothing but ice! And they report these sightings of "nothing but ice" back to their puerile blue world as though this were somehow a great propaganda victory! The beings from the blue planet are impotent! Their efforts are futile! Rejoice!"
When a junior climatologist suggested that the overflights could perhaps have been part of an effort to use radar map the depth of our ice caps in order to better understand their own world's shrinking ice caps, K'Breel had the dissenter's gelsacs flash-frozen in liquid nitrogen, shattered with a hammer, and the resulting shards thawed in a microwave oven before subsequently roasting them on a spit.
Mars is as warm as it's going to get. There are no pirates there, so it can't get any warmer by losing pirates.
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
I read that as
Radar Map of Buried Mars Lawyers Confirms Climate Cycles