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NASA Wants Your Ambitious High-Tech Contest Ideas
In an effort to create future Centennial Challenges, NASA is asking the general public to come up with (and submit) ambitious contest ideas. For the next six weeks, the Innovative Partnerships Program will be accepting ideas for new contests, with all submissions becoming public domain information. "According to NASA, any idea can be proposed for a prize competition that addresses challenges related to the mission of NASA in aeronautics, exploration, science, or space operations. Crosscutting topics or those that also address related national or global needs are especially valuable. The challenges must require basic and applied research, technology development or prototype demonstrations."
I mean, why not?
Wow. Captcha: fetish
Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.
INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.
MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most
So NASA is holding a contest to see who can come up with the best contest?
the recursion is hurting my brain...
I want an autonomous robot which hunts down lying politicians and ass-rapes them. For reference, that includes their conspirators at Fox News and NBC and the like.
Come on guys, let's get some ideas. This isn't rocket science......oh, maybe it is.
Anus stretching contest.
High tech version: see how much Apple hardware you can shove up your ass.
Moderators, I see no reason why the parent was modded down. The idea is both novel and ambitious even if it is a bit perverse. I think that you should reconsider your moderation OR DIE!!! Thank you.
I heard you like contests, so I made a contest for your contest, so you can design the future while you design the future. Thanks, NASA.
Dislike the Electoral College? Lobby your state to join the National Popular Vote Interstate Compact.
WTF are they soliciting ideas for? If you have an idea that improves space travel, form a company and promote it. The returns will likely be better too, as you will own your ideas and can sell/lease them to foreign investors as well.
I know it's a bit outside of NASA's purview, for the moment at least, but how about a contest to build structures that are held up by kinetic energy. You launch material to the top of your structure, catch it there, and throw it back down; transfering enough energy in the process to hold the structure aloft. This kind of thing could eventually be used to build Launch Loops or Space Fountains and is a pretty big engineering challenge that is probably solvable today with a little effort. And it's no more outlandish than a space elevator (probably less so in fact).
How about we find a useful mission for the billions of dollars in research we have just sitting around NASA? Like a mission that would improve the quality of human life instead of watching m&m's floating in zero g. I'm just sayin...
The first idea that springs to mind would be for NASA to have a contest to see who could provide a modern online contest idea submission form. Having the "Call For Prize Concepts" and "Entry Form" as linked Word files that need to be edited with your ideas, and then attached to an email with a specific subject line is not very high-tech or open. Word is popular but not everyone has it.
NASA Wants Your Ambitious High-Tech Contest Ideas
because they don't have enough time or funding to do the research themselves!
The problem is NASA is trying to accomplish too much too fast. They should go for multi-stage contests, where individual teams can compete for each stage of a larger goal. For example, the first stage contest could be for the first group to successfully land a man on the moon. Ten years later, the second stage contest could be for the first group to successfully retrieve a human, or his remains, from the moon. The third stage could be a contest to see who could send a man outside of the Earth-Moon system. Several years after that, the fourth stage contest could be for someone to actually send a man on a trajectory to hit Mars. Fifth stage could be an economical way to retrieve small bits of spacecraft and human body parts from the surface of Mars. Eventually, around the 15th or 20th stage, we'll have a colony on Mars, from which we could attempt to contact the guy we shot off into deep space in the third stage. Simple, really.
i really want to see what these shark would be capable of.
Design a better toilet and you'll be in the heart of every astronaut who feels the pressure.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
...First prize: a mountain bike made of diamonds.
I already made an invention for the future, I made that reverse microwave!
I need to put freon in it to make it work. It makes ice so fast and makes beer icy cold and pizza too hot makes it a little colder so you don't burn the roof of your mouth.
Also, as practical inventions go, there's the garbage juicer. How it works is quite incredible. All you do is take garbage out of any old garbage bag, and when the lights go on you're ready to go.
The first tap is kerosene. You can use kerosene to burn your sweet mama's panties off.
The second is root beer. Great for Friday night pizza parties.
Last but not least grapefruit juice.
Okay, NASA. I've wanted to know the answer to this for a long time.
First, you have this vessel with the pestle. Now, bear with me. Next to it is this flagon with a dragonâ¦
Flying car.
FreeBSD Virus Creation
I agree.
Send kayne West to space... for GOOD!
They need to create some of the intresting items from the better science fiction books. Let's create a ringworld, or something intresting like that.
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
How about a contest to design a modern versions of the cameras used on the Apollo project? By that, I mean a lightweight solution to taking photographs and video on the lunar surface, usable by an astronaut in full gear, with enough battery life and capacity to take a few thousand pictures and or X many hours of video.
Bonus points will be awarded if your solution also includes extra equipment, such as monopods/tripods, high gain antenna, solar recharge kit, is capable of surviving other hostile environments, such as the surface of mars, is capable of using different filters for uv/IR/etc, remote control options, etc.
Seriouslly, I needs to happen.
Clean up all the debris that is already up there and you'll lower the difficulty of future challenges.
How about a contest to go to Mars? You know, that whole thing they should be doing rather than hosting contest contests.
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My contest is to design a contest.
Thus, NASA has already chosen my entry, and I have already won!
Quickly! To the entry submission form!
1) look at some weird hobby project you did :) :D
2) describe it's functionality in the form of a contest description
3) send the contest description to NASA
4) apply your weird hobby project for the contest
5) profit!
It is always better to be a first grade version of yourself than a second grade version of someone else.
... is to begin working on teleportation ... enough with the big expensive space shuttles that keep blowing up or falling apart!
MIT is working on a Mechanical Counterpressure Spacesuit, its called the Biosuit. The materials its made out of are not as advanced as they need to be, but some of the mechanical structures, and the concepts used to design the suits are ready.
http://mvl.mit.edu/EVA/biosuit/index.html
Basically by being a skin tight suit the wearer is better equipped to handle long hours in a space suit, right now something like 80% of an astronaut's exertions are fighting the suit, with 20% left for actually working on the Space Station or Hubble or something.
In 'the future' we're going to spend a lot more time outside doing things, on orbit, on the moon, on mars and it'd be a lot better off if we didn't have to fight the suit to do the work.
How about a contest to make NASA part of the public eye again? Oh I don't know, "America's Next Top Astronaut".
If anything, it would get people involved again, and the ratings and advertising revenue might supplement NASA's ever declining budget.
(I'm advocating a "if you can't beat'em, join'em" approach. It probably won't work, but as someone who spent only five minutes thinking about it, I really don't know)
Good Luck (You will need it - yes you NASA)
It's certainly not the first time I've seen this meme, but can someone tell me where it originates? Is it yet another product of 4chan?
I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
Dear NASA,
Here's a contest for you: The Find A Proper Administrator Contest.
O'Keefe and Griffin really did a number on NASA. We've known for a while that the shuttles needed replacing, yet here we are, limping them along with no replacement* in sight. We'll have at least a five year gap in manned space flight capabilities due in part to the shortsightedness of these men, not to mention a space station that is not even complete, yet is shortly due for decommission.
*I hear some of you saying "What about Ares?". Are you talking about the Ares that is going to lift our astronauts into an orbit with a negative perigee? Are you talking about the Ares that cannot lift the Orion module unless they strip out the airbags, toilets, land landing equipment, and a third of the astronauts? Are you talking about the Ares that is going to put the astronauts through the roughest launch environment (thrust oscillation, max-Q, G-forces, acoustics) that manned space flight has ever seen? That Ares?
Or are you talking about the Ares that can't be built in existing factories because it is too big around? Are you talking about the Ares that needs a specially re-inforced launch pad, with thicker concrete driveways, and a new, stronger crawler because it is so heavy the current infrastructure is unable to handle the weight? Are you talking about the Ares that won't be ready to fly until at least 2020? That Ares?
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
Whoever lobbies the U.S. Congress to fully fund NASA wins $1 billion.
Maybe I just don't understand what you've said, but it sure sounds like the Lorax lifting himself up into the air by the seat of his pants.
You throw the ball up: force transfers downwards through your feet and pushes station down. Your buddy catches it up near the ceiling: the force you pushed down is countered by the force captured by your friend pushing up. Net result: zero.
So I just submitted my proposal for a contest for constructing a spherical mega structure in space orbiting earth, kind of like the moon. Only to be used as a missile shield, utilizing a ginormous laser beam (which can also be redirected to blast pretty much any other extra terrestrial threats to smithereens).. I took the liberty of putting down USA, Russia and China under 'organizations with a potential interest'.
I think this project would address pretty much all areas of challenge.
Let's see how it pans out.
daablers. In truth, significant7y The public eye: others what to
Might I suggest research into the development of space-capable Carcharhiniformes. They should be adapted to accept cranial implantation of devices that employ light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation.
Just a thought.
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
Obviously they just need to hold a contest to find the best way to judge the contest for a contest idea, but then they'll have to properly judge the contest for judging a contest contest.
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
And I am submitting a proposal for a space fighter with an aft-wing variable geometry biplane design, fitted with photon torpedoes to be manned by a space samurai and a funny bleeping robot. Your move.
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
Those Hefty flex-bags should work
Dude, if you somehow manage to work goatse into a prize, you deserve the Troll of the Century award.
Table-ized A.I.
From TFS:
The challenges must require basic and applied research, technology development or prototype demonstrations.
Translation:
The challenges must include things that require additional funding requests and expansion of administrative functions.
Pathological kinda promises Path + Logical - but instead, you get stuck with pathetic.
Capture an Asteroid filled with goodies and direct it at the moon.
NASA, having failed at their basic job of putting stuff into space, is trying, yet again, to find another mission that doesn't actually require making a working launch system.
NASA needs a major downsizing. Closing half the "centers" would be a good start.
NASA clearly doesn't understand what relationship the 'S' means in NASA. Food/Oxygen/Waste recycling systems have been around for over 100 years, but NASA seems to be not to clear about this. Like wise, the Prono Industry is desperately looking for something that they can do that others cannot freely do for free. So there is only one place were "new" could be truly applied; that's right, doing the wild thing in zero-g, and filming it. My contest idea is to have Prono company's compete for the best zero gravity film. And the best part is that NASA doesn't have to spend a dime. The public will pay, the Prono will have a new market, and mankind can advance into space...
Don't make your forms .doc documents
The Wise adapts himself to the world. The Fool adapts the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the Fool.
While I know this was intended to be funny, not "insightful", there is a little kernel of truth here. NASA really doesn't have the time or funding to do all of this research themselves.
Still, the point of doing this is due to the fact that there are many in the space exploration "fan clubs" (to use at least one term for the loosely organized groups of various kinds that support spaceflight) that have some pretty interesting ideas, and it would be a shame to throw out some very good ideas while a boring committee of government bureaucrats comes up with some stuff that doesn't really make a difference.
If NASA can get a whole bunch of excellent ideas from a wide variety of sources, perhaps one or two of those ideas can make actual contests. All of the original Centennial Challenges have been wildly successful in terms of leveraging modest amounts of government funding with a whole bunch of private investment to come up with some very useful technologies for NASA to work with in the future. From just a pure fiscal standpoint, creating these contests are an incredible boon for NASA and do several things very well:
How about a prize for the team that can destroy the most autonomous lunar rovers on their way to defile the Apollo landing sites in order to claim that idiotic x-prize.
http://www.googlelunarxprize.org/lunar/about-the-prize/rules-and-guidelines
Oops.
Contest:
provide the most convincing evidence that the Moon landing was a hoax.
Prize:
tell the truth about how NASA is made to look like a dummy, since it is a pathetic decoy for the real space program