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Mainstream Press "Cringes" At Win7 Launch Parties
lurking_giant writes "Well, Microsoft has done it again with the YouTube Windows 7 launch party video that is turning the stomachs of even the mainstream press with its clueless and campy marketing style. A Washington Post reader was quoted as saying 'If Microsoft had been put in charge of marketing sex, the human race would have ended long ago, because no one would be caught dead doing something that uncool.'" Even the Guardian's resident die-hard Apple hater calls it "the most nauseating advert in history."
I see everyone else is catatonic from watching the video.
Come on, this video is complex, challenging art.
White Guy: "Of course the first thing you're going to do is install Windows 7." Group: *Laughs* (Like we're going to do that.)
wait until you try the OS.
How we know is more important than what we know.
I like how they disabled comments on the video.
Because, of course, the video's obvious coolness needed no acknowledgment from the viewers.
I can see the fnords!
I remember for the Heinz Ketchup creativity contest they had recently there were a bunch of videos they kept removing despite them getting a lot of votes. Like this one that showed a wicked old lady chugging ketchup and then at the end she holds the bottle up and smiles and has this awesome snaggletooth grin with missing teeth.
So Microsoft will have to put with questionable content and I'll be there to vote it up and love it. Example:
*man sits behind TV set with only shoulders and head visible and upper arm working vigorously while expressions of joy cross his face*
Narrator: So there I was watching some kitten snuff films before my friends arrived for the Win7 Launch party.
*doorbell rings, narrator gets up to open door behind which are three guys with sunglasses on and a white powder visibly smeared across their upper lips*
Narrator: Guys, what's the deal, where are the hookers?
Christian Slater Sounding Partier: Yeah, Fred, about that, we had a little accident. One of the hookers got a bit lippy and they're not gonna make it.
Narrator: They're coming later?
Christian Slater Sounding Partier: Just make sure you don't leave any fingerprints on your dumpster if you go there tonight.
Narrator: Awesome, well, you all brought your stolen laptops so let's fire 'em up and start doing something better than snorting coke and killing hookers: installing Win7.
Remember, it's not just the comments that are impressively stupid on YouTube. There's also videos. Opening up your company to a video contest? Yeah, I'll be searching YouTube for "Win7 Launch Party REJECTED."
My work here is dung.
I have seriously thrown up and lost 10 pounds of food from my intestines including water. You too can achieve rapid weight loss.
Microsoft has been making crappy promotional videos for years and years.
Take a look at this MS-DOS 5 video promotion, YO MS Raps!
Ballmer tries to sell Windows 1.0
This is the Windows 386 launch video with the crazy female office worker turning from Mission Impossible later on into a punk rock and Madona combo?
Remember, Slashdot does not have a -1 disagree moderation, and no, troll, flamebait, and overrated are not substitutes.
I could not get through even 30 seconds of it and I am in shame for that. I would rather light my ball hairs on fire and have a bondage trans sexual primordial dwarf beat the fire out with a sledge hammer than have to watch another second of that bowel evacuating drivel! The camera work sucks too. Mike
Oh, all you haters just don't want to admit how much fun it would be to throw a party that damn nerdy.
A shooting spree at the local mall gets media attention too, but I wouldn't want it associated with my brand.
The "cue the foo posts in 3, 2, 1..." posts will commence with no subsequent foo posts in 3, 2, 1...
It wasn't until I was 1/2 way through the video where it dawned on me that they were discussing throwing a party to introduce their friends to all the cool new things that Windows 7 can offer.
Either Microsoft is planning on selling Windows 7 like tuppaware or what I just watched was the introduction to a very bad porno.
Come on, this video is complex, challenging art.
I was hoping to see a bunch of anal sex with the caption being, "Hey, you got it up the ass with Vista be prepared for Windows 7!"
It's NOT me! It's the meds! I'm on 1000mg of Fukitol.
I wonder why...
My guess is that they were originally enabled, but Google didn't have the bandwidth to process the torrent of 0.0 votes.
I wonder why, they were ashamed of it as soon as they posted it.
I actually watched the whole thing... you guys didn't, so you didn't see the older lady and the oldest lady erupt into passionate lesbian sex. The dudes pulled out weapons and began close-quarters combat. The video ended with the Mac guy emerging from stage right and saying "pwn3d".
Blue-Balls of Death, eh?
Table-ized A.I.
Read the Guardian article. What you're feeling is called "shitasmia".
Vanya's Law: "In any culture without irony, fart jokes will be the highest form of humor."
Windows 7 themed jello shots, strippers and potato cannons.
You can thank me later.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
The start me up campaign was pretty good if I remember.
Get AC/DC or something. Something Thunderstruck or Back in Black.
Then go hire a music video guy to do some funky video where everyone's face turns into a window.
Why is this so hard?
Microsoft is the new Tupperware?
http://xkcd.com/51/
Fortunately I don't have to use it. I have Debian.
This is the part where you hop on your motorcycle and wheelie the f out of there, right? RIGHT!?!?
+1 Disagree
It's so terrible, I feel compelled to send it to everyone I know so they can see its glory. Well played, Microsoft.. Well played. -_-
Have strippers, a keg, taking sledgehammers to Windows machines, you get the idea.
It's NOT me! It's the meds! I'm on 1000mg of Fukitol.
Unless of course you happen to own Smith and Wesson.
It's the new episode from Brannon Braga!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/97929/flashforward-no-more-good-days
"For 2 minutes and seventeen seconds, we all blacked out..." ... in the future!"
"We didn't black out sir, we were
"What did you see?"
"It was too horrible to talk about."
"Come on honey... What was it?"
"I was STILL at the release party!"
My first Journal Entry ever, in 8 years! http://slashdot.org/journal/365947/aphelion-scifi-fantasy-horror-poetry-webzine
Here is an improved version of the commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Imd1_39pLAM
Or the interns they gave the police escort to. What no one talked about was that it was actually a prisoner transport.
The only change I can believe in is what I find in my couch cushions.
Microsoft is the new Tupperware?
Tupperware: Hard to open and full of food that was new a long time ago.
Windows: Slow to open and full of stuff that was new a long time ago (on Macs).
So pretty much true, exept without the freshness.
This sig is false.
What you're overlooking is that you have no idea the circumstances under which he's using it. He could be using it in a virtual machine. He could be dual-booting with another OS. He could actually be using the beta for its intended purpose: to test it. To see if he can break it. To see if it's actually functional. You have no way of knowing what other systems he's using, or what other computers he's got.
I originally had debian, xp, and openbsd running on my three main computers. I found that in order to hack the gibsons I needed more power, so I installed my zero-day windows 7 on all of them. With my newly acquired megahertz I just cruised right through the firewalls, disabled the ai, and floated off into cyberspace.
I hope this clears things up. Now can I come back to the Slashdot cool table?
Apologies in advance to David Letterman:
* Pin the tail on the Ballmer
* Simon says "UAC needs your permission to continue"
* Monopoly
* Your files in a haystack
* Twenty clippy questions
* Musical thrown chairs
* Darl McBride pinata
* Red Light, Green Light, Blue Screen
* DRM may I?
* Phone Home Scruples
It's true no man is an island, but if you take a bunch of dead guys and tie 'em together, they make a good raft.