Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Mainstream Press "Cringes" At Win7 Launch Parties

Posted by kdawson on from the tone-deaf-and-two-left-hands dept.

lurking_giant writes "Well, Microsoft has done it again with the YouTube Windows 7 launch party video that is turning the stomachs of even the mainstream press with its clueless and campy marketing style. A Washington Post reader was quoted as saying 'If Microsoft had been put in charge of marketing sex, the human race would have ended long ago, because no one would be caught dead doing something that uncool.'" Even the Guardian's resident die-hard Apple hater calls it "the most nauseating advert in history."

21 of 830 comments (clear)

  1. First post... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I see everyone else is catatonic from watching the video.

    1. Re:First post... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      After watching the clock on the oven behind them lurch around between 3:00 and 5:00 I have an awful headache, and my eyes and ears are starting to bleed. I think I need to find a constant.

    2. Re:First post... by socceroos · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yep. I'm at a loss for words.

      But seriously, what are Microsoft getting at? This is looking more and more like a cult thing than ever. Inviting friends over to preach to them about the virtues of Windows 7 so the unrepentant soul might offer sacrifices and money to the Microsoft god? I found the advert really eerie and unsettling...

      I couldn't get the word 'scientology' out of my head when watching this... The church of Microsoftology - has a nice ring to it. Doctrines include Windowsology (overarching doctrine which includes many sub-doctrines and principals including DOSomatics, BSODology and Restartology) amongst many others.

      Its Ballmerific!

    3. Re:First post... by holloway · · Score: 5, Funny

      Try this mashup of the launch party video.

      --
      -Docvert converts MSWord to OpenDocument, clean HTML
    4. Re:First post... by OnlineAlias · · Score: 5, Funny

      And the black guy has to be white if you are in Poland. You can just photoshop him out....

    5. Re:First post... by oddaddresstrap · · Score: 5, Funny

      This is your party...

      This is your party on Windows 7...

    6. Re:First post... by POTSandPANS · · Score: 5, Funny

      The clock on the oven kinda reminds me of the estimated-time-remaining clock on a windows file copy dialog.

      xkcd:
      http://xkcd.com/612/

    7. Re:First post... by EdIII · · Score: 5, Funny

      After watching the clock on the oven behind them lurch around between 3:00 and 5:00 I have an awful headache, and my eyes and ears are starting to bleed. I think I need to find a constant.

      There is a simple explanation. While you are watching the video time ceases to have any meaning. The laws of physics and nature are rent asunder and you are thrown into a reality in which only you and that video exists.

      What you may, or may not, realize... is that the clock is different for every person. It represents an unconscious awareness of something very wrong.

      Be happy you have seen the clock. Sadly, some people don't even see it and don't even realize what has happened to them. Like many poor victims they have been traumatically wrenched from this reality and cannot understand, will not understand, what has happened to them. Shoved violently across existence into a sea of un-time they will experience this state of agony forever.

      A work of evil worthy of the old gods it is.

    8. Re:First post... by cerberusss · · Score: 5, Funny

      A work of evil worthy of the old gods it is.

      They are among us and they are on the internet.

      Let me tell you a story.

      Stacy Griffith, 15, liked frequenting chat rooms online. One day, she met a funny, goofy boy who was deep and intelligent. They talked all the time and eventually, they decided they were going to meet up at a mall in Stacy's home town.

      Only when they met, Stacy realized he was no boy.

      It was motherfucking Cthulhu. Holy fucking shit.

      5,000 Americal girls lose their sanity to Cthulhu each year. Stop online predatation from Great Old Ones before it can start. Educate your children about Cthulhu today.

      (Seen on Wil Wheaton's blog.)

      --
      8 of 13 people found this answer helpful. Did you?
  2. Funny. by Anonymatt · · Score: 5, Funny

    Come on, this video is complex, challenging art.

  3. Re:Microsoft is pure genius by QuantumG · · Score: 5, Funny

    wait until you try the OS.

    --
    How we know is more important than what we know.
  4. Look at the Bright Side by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny

    I remember for the Heinz Ketchup creativity contest they had recently there were a bunch of videos they kept removing despite them getting a lot of votes. Like this one that showed a wicked old lady chugging ketchup and then at the end she holds the bottle up and smiles and has this awesome snaggletooth grin with missing teeth.

    So Microsoft will have to put with questionable content and I'll be there to vote it up and love it. Example:

    *man sits behind TV set with only shoulders and head visible and upper arm working vigorously while expressions of joy cross his face*
    Narrator: So there I was watching some kitten snuff films before my friends arrived for the Win7 Launch party.
    *doorbell rings, narrator gets up to open door behind which are three guys with sunglasses on and a white powder visibly smeared across their upper lips*
    Narrator: Guys, what's the deal, where are the hookers?
    Christian Slater Sounding Partier: Yeah, Fred, about that, we had a little accident. One of the hookers got a bit lippy and they're not gonna make it.
    Narrator: They're coming later?
    Christian Slater Sounding Partier: Just make sure you don't leave any fingerprints on your dumpster if you go there tonight.
    Narrator: Awesome, well, you all brought your stolen laptops so let's fire 'em up and start doing something better than snorting coke and killing hookers: installing Win7.

    Remember, it's not just the comments that are impressively stupid on YouTube. There's also videos. Opening up your company to a video contest? Yeah, I'll be searching YouTube for "Win7 Launch Party REJECTED."

    --
    My work here is dung.
  5. New Weight Loss program Discovered by A+Wise+Guy · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have seriously thrown up and lost 10 pounds of food from my intestines including water. You too can achieve rapid weight loss.

  6. This is nothing new by Orion+Blastar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft has been making crappy promotional videos for years and years.

    Take a look at this MS-DOS 5 video promotion, YO MS Raps!

    Ballmer tries to sell Windows 1.0

    This is the Windows 386 launch video with the crazy female office worker turning from Mission Impossible later on into a punk rock and Madona combo?

    --
    Remember, Slashdot does not have a -1 disagree moderation, and no, troll, flamebait, and overrated are not substitutes.
  7. Oh my god did that suck!!!!! by mikeiver1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I could not get through even 30 seconds of it and I am in shame for that. I would rather light my ball hairs on fire and have a bondage trans sexual primordial dwarf beat the fire out with a sledge hammer than have to watch another second of that bowel evacuating drivel! The camera work sucks too. Mike

  8. Re:Missed porn opportunity. by Ethanol-fueled · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hey, now. 7 runs much more smoothly than Vista - they used lube this time.

  9. S3x by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...quoted as saying 'If Microsoft had been put in charge of marketing sex, the human race would have ended long ago

    Blue-Balls of Death, eh?
       

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  10. Re:Microsoft is pure genius by kallisti777 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Read the Guardian article. What you're feeling is called "shitasmia".

    --
    Vanya's Law: "In any culture without irony, fart jokes will be the highest form of humor."
  11. Fools by Greyfox · · Score: 5, Funny
    They're in need of some serious help here. Ok Microsoft, I feel so bad for your social ineptitude that this one's for free.

    Windows 7 themed jello shots, strippers and potato cannons.

    You can thank me later.

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  12. Obligatory XKCD by Smartcowboy · · Score: 5, Funny

    http://xkcd.com/51/

  13. Top 10 Windows 7 Launch Party games! by merc · · Score: 5, Funny

    Apologies in advance to David Letterman:

    * Pin the tail on the Ballmer

    * Simon says "UAC needs your permission to continue"

    * Monopoly

    * Your files in a haystack

    * Twenty clippy questions

    * Musical thrown chairs

    * Darl McBride pinata

    * Red Light, Green Light, Blue Screen

    * DRM may I?

    * Phone Home Scruples

    --
    It's true no man is an island, but if you take a bunch of dead guys and tie 'em together, they make a good raft.