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Fear Detector To Sniff Out Terrorists
Hugh Pickens writes "Evidence that the smell of fear is real was uncovered by US scientists last year who studied the underarm secretions of 20 terrified novice skydivers and found that people appear to respond unconsciously to the sweat smell of a frightened person. Now the Telegraph reports that researchers hope a 'fear detector' will make it possible to identify individuals at check points who are up to no good. 'The challenge lies in the characterization and identification of the specific chemical that gives away the signature of human fear, especially the fear in relation to criminal acts,' says Professor Tong Tun at City University London, who leads the team developing security sensor systems that can detect the human fear pheromone. The project will look at potential obstacles to the device, such as the effects of perfume and the variances in pheromone production and if the initial 18-month feasibility study is successful, the first detectors could be developed in the next two to three years. 'I do not see any particular reason why similar sensor techniques cannot be expanded to identify human smells by race, age or gender to build a profile of a criminal during or after an incident,' Tong added."
or young men who are afraid that their dreams for a virgin will be confused with somebody else's dreams of 71 virgins.
"And in the news today, hundreds of teenage boys were arrested under the Prevention of Terrorism Act. They were later released after it turned out they were simply wearing Axe deodorant"
Summation 2
1. Get a degree in chemistry
2. Create artificial "fear hormone"
3. Bottle hormone in spray-flask
4. Spray "on your car" outside airport (and wash car with a piece of cloth) - make sure to spray passers-by
5. ???
6. Profit!!!!
--The knowledge that you are an idiot, is what distinguishes you from one.
then we need to be able to smell anticipation for paradise, or would we just confuse that with a bunch of horny guys.
It all starts at 0
So lessen the odds by bringing a bomb onto the airplane. Do you know what the odds of TWO people bringing a bomb onto an airplane are?
And if you can get someone else you trust never to explode a bomb to bring one on an airplane, your flight will be even safer, because do you know how much rarer it will be for THREE people to bring a bomb onto an airplane?
Heck, have the captain, the co-pilot, the flight engineer, and the head stew also bring bombs on board. the probability of an EIGHTH person bringing a bomb on board is soooo small ....
Now, where's my grant money?
(no, it's not original - it's adapted from Isaac Asimov's Joke Book - which is now probably on some sort of watch list because certain people with no sense of humor act like they have a baguette shoved up their ass, so don't trot down to your local library to read it)
... fear is the mind killer, fear is the little death that brings airport security...
I really like the idea! Preferably it should be combined with US patent 6970105 (Passenger control system during a plane flying) http://www.freepatentsonline.com/6970105.html
So we fit all passengers with large collars containing big needles with sedatives. At the first smell of fear we inject a propper dose of sedatives in their necks. The problems with terrorism and fear of flying solved at the same time.
I really must run and patent this idea right now... And get the movie rights!
This whole idea doesn't pass the smell test.
But it COULD lead to the entire population of New Jersey, the armpit of America, being banned from flying. Not having to sit next to them might be seen as a win.
Smellcrime? (Or would that be stinkcrime to rhyme with thinkcrime?)
What happened to the other 2? Are they running out of virgins up there?
English is not this
Only the female ones.
Lesbians.
I have been suffering on anxiety disorder now for the last 15 years, does that mean I will get an anal search every time I cross the border now?
Dunno. You afraid of anal searches?
Like this comic: http://alexandersarchive.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/72-virgins-family-guy.jpg Or this photo: http://www.redout.org/members/uploads/72virgins.jpg
Actually I don't care if they've slept with 20,000 men if they all look like this (young and cute) http://www.truthordarepics.com/sexstoryarchive/nakedgirls/images/nakedgirls4.jpg
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - historian Evelyn Beatrice Hall
We have nothing to fear but [the smell of] fear itself.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
Ah! So if you *DON'T* trigger the detector, you are a terrorist.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!