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What Does Google Suggest Suggest About Humanity?

Posted by samzenpus on from the fire-makes-things-hot dept.

CNETNate writes "You'll laugh, but mostly you'll cry. Some of the questions Google gets asked to deliver results for is beyond worrying. 'Can you put peroxide in your ear?', 'Why would a pregnancy test be negative?', and 'Why can't I own a Canadian?' being just a selection of the truly baffling — and disturbing — questions Google is regularly forced to answer."

9 of 513 comments (clear)

  1. Why can't I own Canadians? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    1. Re:Why can't I own Canadians? by ElectricTurtle · · Score: 5, Funny

      That makes sense, since we're all such big dicks.

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    2. Re:Why can't I own Canadians? by j4s0n · · Score: 5, Funny

      It takes balls to admit that...

  2. Obligatory George Carlin Quote by kidblast · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

  3. My own contribution: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Me:
    what is the

    Google:
    date today
    meaning of life
    population of Canada
    name of bo and luke dukes 69 dodge charger in the tv series the dukes of hazzard
    population of the world
    sum of days in a week months in a year hours in a day
    largest city in canada
    canadian dollar worth
    best laptop
    capital of california

    I don't know how their system works, but I don't think it's based on actual searches that people have done. I mean, how many people who google for the name of the Dukes' car would actually type a full sentence like that?

    Another one I just tried:

    Me:
    what's worse than
    Google:
    a pile of dead babies

  4. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 5, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  5. Yes. Really. by dazedNconfuzed · · Score: 5, Funny

    I own a Canadian. Cost me everything I have, and everything I ever will have. Worth every penny.

    However, independent observers may conclude she owns me. ...sorry, gotta run, being paged...

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  6. Re:Really? by click2005 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can you put peroxide in your ear?

    Yes, unless its frozen.

    Why would a pregnancy test be negative?

    Because you're male

    Why can't I own a Canadian?

    You can until the ACTA comes into effect. From then, you must license your Canadian.

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  7. Re:Really? by box4831 · · Score: 5, Funny

    common treatment for ear infections, ingrown hairs, cuts and ear infections.

    Does it cure redundancy too?

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