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Microsoft Seeks Patent On Shaming Fat Gamers
theodp writes "A newly disclosed Microsoft patent application — Avatar Individualized by Physical Characteristic — takes aim at fat people, proposing to generate fat avatars in gaming environments for individuals whose health records indicate they're overweight, limiting their game play, and even banning them. From the patent application: 'An undesirable body weight could be reflected in an overweight or underweight appearance for the avatar. Only requisite health levels are allowed to compete in a certain competition level. A dedicated gamer could exercise for a period of time until his health indicator gadget shows a sufficiently high health/health credit in order to allow reentering the avatar environment.' Linking one's gaming avatar to one's physique, explains Microsoft, will produce healthy and virtuous behaviors in individuals. Microsoft also proposes shaping gaming experiences by using 'psychological and demographic information such as education level, geographic location, age, sex, intelligence quotient, socioeconomic class, occupation, marital/relationship status, religious belief, political affiliation, etc.'"
So THAT's why we're going to have digital medical records...
prior art exists, now Ballmer has to grow a stupid mustasche, chew carpets, and march on Poland.
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
...on a fantastically lean, mean & slim Microsoft Windows OS?
Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
Ha! I have been shaming and banning fat people for years now. Where is my patent?
I can just imagine the slogan: "Escape your depressing real life into a matching world!"
Logging on...
"Our records show that you are an overweight high-school educated 36-year old mail in Akron, Ohio with below-average IQ, part-time employment at a Wal-Mart with an annual take-home of $16k who is a single Baptist Republican."
Creating avatar... done.
"Congratulations! Explore our virtual world with your new avatar -- an overweight, high-school educated 36-year old male with below-average IQ."
Your avatar will spawn in: Virtual Akron Ohio
You start with the following items: Bible, Pat Robertson DVD, "Going Rogue" by Sarah Palin
You start with: 0 gold
You earn: 7 gold per hour
For doing the following task: Checking groceries at the Virtual Akron Wal-Mart.
Nobody pushes buttons like our bunny. Big red buttons with labels that say "IGNITION", apparently.
I drive through the Microsoft's campus almost daily. One of the funniest things I've seen (I have a rather twisted sense of humor) is all the Microsoft employees trying to waddle across the too short and too frequent pedestrian crosswalk signals that Redmond configured.
Have gnu, will travel.
The patent office doesn't invent any new drugs. That's like saying the post office is wasting its time on Cosmopolitan.
Microsoft should also file for a patent on a method to lose money.
Windows Vista hasn't been patented yet?
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
Can I be the first to heap scorn on the fat kid in the photo.
You fat bastard, you fat bastard, you ate all the pie !
(And a bucket of chicken too by the look of it).
Why do people allow their kids to turn into such bloaters ? And don't give me any of that "oh it's genetic crap". There is no DNA strand that codes for "being a fat little piggy who Mommy overfeeds in the hope you'll amount to something more than your Father when you grow up".
I blame Mario ... come on, he eats pizza all day and has a right paunch on him too ... what kind of a roll model is that ? (Note the deliberate misspelling of roll, thats a pune or play on words, that is). And Sonic too, I mean he was so fat, after 5 seconds of running he starting rolling head over heels.
If Microsoft starts actually checking players appearance and gender
It’s okay... you can fool it with a picture of a vagina.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
Stop telling me how to live my life! If I want to tell others how to live their lives, that's MY choice.
What day is it? Could you please tell me?
And you spend your spare time... playing a game as a virtual virtual wal-mart stocker.
Oh, I am pretty sure those two things are universally exclusive.
I judt got a nre Kinesis keybiartf so please excusr ant egregiou typos.
36-24-36? Only if she is 5'3".
You earn: 7 gold per hour
For doing the following task: Checking groceries at the Virtual Akron Wal-Mart.
Not for long. I'm certain there are Chinese gamers who will do it for half that much.
Welcome to the long term unemployed quest!
That feature is covered by the base "No chicks" edition 360.
I, on the other hand, am a 6'6" tall, bulging muscles on skeleton type of guy who has any woman I desire at any time, even when fighting off foes, a superb intellect and the sun shines out of my arse (ass for you yanks).
Now where's my avatar?
Don't be apathetic. Procrastinate!
You computer will now display the Blueberry Ice Cream of Death.....
Tsukasa: All I really want, is to be left alone...
According to your medical records, you are a compulsive liar. In order to protect the children, you will not be able to access our online community. If you persist in attempting to register, the FBI will be notified.
Gee... I'm a Southern Baptist (who regularly attend church, Creationist, etc...), however; I neither care for Pat Robertson nor Sarah Palin.
In that case, you'll just have to evolve a sense of humour.
Oh, sorry.
Only if you're morbidly obtuse.
It's only one level deep, so it's more like plain old meta-suck.
Welcome to the Internet. I can see that this is your first time here.
There is so much for you to see and wish to unsee.
I, on the other hand, am a 6'6" tall, bulging muscles on skeleton type of guy who has any woman I desire at any time, even when fighting off foes, a superb intellect and the sun shines out of my arse (ass for you yanks).
Now where's my avatar?
Your avatar request is fully noted and your order parameters and pre-ship details appear below.
Many good lucks to you in your gaming! /snappy SALUTE!
Sincerely yours,
Orders@Aurora_Avatars.com
Order fulfillment details:
1. You are exceptionally well-built and can get laid all the time by any woman you desire.
2. Avatar Analysis Wizard results indicate that there are not enough women you desire to lay, and would prefer to fill your time role-playing in a game.
3. Your avatar is one with a chiseled face, piercing eyes, skin colored a near-perfect, brushed-metal bronze, a shock of thick, yet somehow simultaneously lithe and responsive, magnificent mane of hair - in short, nearly possessing the good looks of an Auroran (such as the the real-life appearance of the president and founder of Aurora Avatars).
4 The most outstanding feature of your new avatar is the letter on your forehead in hyper-glow, yellow-green-white, that eerily seems to almost float, retaining its holographic-like legibility regardless of how you turn your head.
(** Copyright claimed by me, as creator, for Aurora Avatars and all related trade names, and product descriptions)
Pathological kinda promises Path + Logical - but instead, you get stuck with pathetic.
Unless during your character's off-hours, you sign them up for this service to go play games. Wherein the character's character would then go work at the Virtual Virtual Akron Wal-Mart...
Canada: The US's more awesome sibling.
to see Stephen Hawking's avatar. I wonder if he gets a free mount.
There is lots of discrimination in turkey. Some people will only eat the white meat and some will only eat the dark.
But Ballmer is damn fat as well. Why stop at games? They should deny access to all services for fat people, starting with HIM.
Patents Drive Free Software as Hurricanes Drive Construction Industry
prior art exists, now Ballmer has to chew carpets.
Hitler was a lesbian?