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The Science of Santa
Santa Claus must use advanced technologies to pull off his annual feat. Thankfully, NewScientist has the exclusive about the what and the how. "He relies on some impressive gadgets: miniature flying robots, advanced satellites, highly sensitive surveillance devices, memory-erasing milk, self-assembling toys, and a warp-drive-powered sleigh that's capable of bending and twisting space-time to such an extent that it slips Santa and his reindeer out of the observable universe. In 1949, Kurt Gödel published one of the first mathematical descriptions of how it could work. In his version, the universe has paths called closed time-like curves that might allow you to jump in a ship, fly for a while, and end up right back where you started in space and time."
Always knew Santa had to have *all* the cool toys!
He should really stop using such high-tech to fly around unless he wants to get shot down by anti-missile systems.
I caught the sneaky bastard stealing my milk, i got him locked in the trunk of my car.
The mall Santas deliver the presents. It's the only explanation that meets Occam's razor without exposing parents as Santa.
Amazing. They believe in advanced quantum physics AND Santa. Most ordinary people would just say "he doesn't exist" around the age of 9 and move on. But not geeks!
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I realize that they were trying to be funny and all, but calling Kurt Gödel an "idiot" seemed a little low.
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The milk is supposed to be left for Santa, not by Santa.
So kids with a crush on Santa are definitively deciding the naughty or nice question by slipping him some rohypnol.
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Shouldn't this be more Idle territory or Entertainment maybe.
Anything can be found funny, from a certain point of view.
...are shaped like spiders. So every time you smash a spider or hit a cobweb on the ceiling with a broom, you lose a toy.
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Shouldn't Santa be given Nobel peace prize? He deserves it more than some recipients.
When is Satan's birthday? Lucifer's? kdawson's?
Why does a fictional character have to use technology to pull this off?
Have not heard any one trying to explain what kind of technology Sauron used for example, in that case everybody was content with magic...
Sounds like 2 years old news: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7129175.stm
I figured out parents' involvement around age 4 when my mother finally moved out of her parents' home. Santa's handwriting switched from resembling my grandmother's cursive to my mom's boyfriend's small-capital manuscript. What does Santa's handwriting look like to you?
I always wondered about the weight and volume of presents in the sled, then it occurred to me. Parents leave toy caches and Santa simply distributes and arranges the toys under the tree. Even if you catch your parents with the presents, you really haven't ruled out Santa Claus. I think the sled carries trinkets for the stockings. The real toy distribution occurs with elves, parents, and toy manufacturers much earlier.
He can't get a Nobel Prize since he is imaginary.
As in... Doesn't really exist, it is just some random guy in a red suit wearing a fake beard.
On the other hand - he is quite qualified to get some people a country based around the fact that they believe in him, along with various tax deductions because of his (imaginary) charitable work.
Personally, I rather chose to believe in Superman. At least he doesn't need a god damn sled to move around.
And while he is from time to time a corporate bitch - at least he doesn't stoop so low to sell soda each winter.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
All Santa has to do is go out and deliver presents to some number (M) of houses. Then he shifts over into the next dimension (like in the comics, not like in string theory) and delivers presents for another M houses. Santa does this until he has made deliveries in some number of different dimensions (N) and then he goes home.
For an infinite number of dimensions and Santas in those dimensions if M and N are greater than some number (I suggest it is 2 and 2) then everyone gets presents without Santa even having to break a sweat. I leave it as an exercise to the theorist to show that not all universes have to have the same number of homes.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Arthur C. Clarke, I think that says it all!
I know this isn't really in the spirit of the article, but the 300,000 "men in brown", who rack up 10,000,000 miles a day delivering around the world deserve at least a little of the credit.
I can remember a time, not long ago, when shipping something during the Christmas season meant hoping with your fingers crossed that it would arrive on time, but now thanks to the real technology behind the scenes, and the men and women involved, pretty much everything is delivered on time (assuming the retailers send it out on time).
So the next time you stop to think about santa, remember that there is an army of people, both in the limelight, and behind the scenes who bring Christmas to every house every year.
-=Geoskd
I wish I had a good sig, but all the good ones are copyrighted
He relies on some impressive gadgets: miniature flying robots, advanced satellites, highly sensitive surveillance devices
So Santa's had this technology for hundreds of years and he didn't share it with anyone? WTF?
Property is theft.
I read one years ago that tried to figure the energy requirements, and concluded the hypothetical super-reindeer would cover the Earth in a layer of reindeer shit a couple feet deep. Something like that.
But somehow I like it. Maybe I just want to believe in a dilithium crystal powered TARDIS like sleigh allowing one to open gateways between the stars and slide from universe to universe.
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
Oh my God, it all makes sense now. Santa Claus is Jack Harkness in a costume.
Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology...
[with apologies to Mr. Clarke]
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All he has to do is approach the speed of light and time will slow sufficiently to allow him to make his routes. It may even account for his long life.
of Santa's Dawkinsian Mind Virus Generator. Once the virus was released into the wild the infected parents and relatives did all the rest of the heavy lifting involved. No need for any other additional gadgets.
..
Of course the presence of the virus can be observed in the fleeting mutations with their signature side effects - wearing baseball caps back to front when your name is not Luke, thinking that SuBo is an international singing sensation (and not a funny woman from Fife) and believing that the word "friend" on a social network site means the same as it does in the Nothing.
Dear Readers: Yes it was Christmas Day (CET) in the Slash Dot Workhouse and I was posting about Santa Claus er...Science. You know when I started reading this my wife was watching Schöne Bescherung (National Lampoons Christmas Vacation) and I promise you, the movie is not improved with a German overdub.
Oh, hang on she's switched to the very young Romy Schneider in Sissi - The Young Empress, well, yes, now, that changes
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I hold true to the belief that Santa is a time lord. A sleigh TARDIS answers all questions. The sleigh bells are just there to mask the sound of the engine.
S.A.N.T.A. is really a giant super computer located at the North Pole that was built by the "League of Corporations for World Domination".
S.A.N.T.A. broadcasts signals into parents minds and makes them do its bidding in order to perpetuate the legend of its existence.
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There was a much better explanation in one of the short stories published in Nature: the reindeer generate a standing probability wave that encompasses the entire planet for 24 hours.
This gets rid of all of the low-tech problems of propulsion, control, and atmospheric friction.
"How does Santa Claus manage to traverse the entire globe in just a few hours, delivering presents to millions of well-behaved children?" No, no, you missunderstand. The problem is backwards. There are very, very few deliveries he has to make so he is easily able to do it without using any magic or advanced science. Silly people, use Occom's razor.
Hey, let the Santa away. He needs his animals not something like this.
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