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Man Tries To Use Explosive Device On US Flight
reporter writes with news that a Nigerian man allegedly attempted to set off a small explosive device — possibly a firecracker — on a Delta Airbus 330 airliner bound for Detroit yesterday. "There was a pop and then smoke wafted through the cabin. A passenger then climbed over several seats, lunged across the aisle and managed to subdue the suspect, the eyewitnesses said. The Nigerian man was placed in a headlock before being dragged up to the first class cabin. Passenger Zeina Seagal told CNN that after the suspect was collared and parts of his burning pants were removed, flight attendants quickly grabbed fire extinguishers and doused the fire at his seat." The man has claimed links to al-Qaeda, though the investigation hasn't confirmed that yet. (They're not taking anything for granted given that his pants were literally on fire.)
You missed the most likely new rule:
- Not allowed to wear pants.
He was coming to the States to deliver my $40,000,000US.
"The average reporter we talk to is 27 years old......They literally know nothing." - Ben Rhodes
Our service today includes a light snack, complimentary beverages and a weenie roast in coach class.
Never shake hands with a man you meet in a fertility clinic.
The message is clear: Don't fuck with people flying in to Detroit. We have very little to lose. I can see that scenario playing out now:
"I will blow up the plane!"
"Jackass, I'm *willingly* leaving a place with universal health care, low crime, and pot on every street corner to go *home* to a city with crushing illiteracy, high crime, and an epic unemployment level. Do you think I really give a flying fuck about dying?"
I just wonder how many people were uncomfortable with the extra federal attention the flight got when it landed =)
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
From the desk of Barrister Kofi Kukukuku,
Ministry of Finance,
Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Dear ,
I hope this message finds you well. I am in urgent need of a representative in you country
to assist with the transfer of $10 USD Million for legal assistance. The son of the deposed
dictator Silas Kofi Abdulmutallab who was assassinated in a violent coup in 2007. Is accused
of attempted bombing of a commercial flight from Amsterdam and is being held Ilegally by the
United States., who is demanding immediate bribe of $4 USD million for his release.. For your kind
assistance in this matter we are prepared to pay $5 USD million for simple transfer to an account
in your country, to prevent further taxation by corrupt officials. To assent, simply reply soonest
with the following information:
Your bank account number;
your address and phone numer;
your national idenification number for security pruposes.
I look forward to your kind assistance.
Sincerely,
Barrister Kofi Kukukuku
That will last exactly as long as it takes for me to take a flight.
"You want me to sit naked? OK." *strips*
TSA guy: "NO! PLEASE NO! PLEASE PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON! *OH GOD MY EYES* "
--
BMO
Mandatory bacon sandwiches before boarding the plane. Everybody wins.
XKCD seems to think you can.
I run Ubuntu skinned to look like a Mac on a PC. Go figure.
It could have been ammonium nitrate (common fertilizer) and any combustible liquid (petrol, diesel etc.) see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ANFO
I thought Apple had fixed this problem?
Bet this guy wishes he'd bought an Android.
People don't like to blow up so they will beet the crap out of anyone who tries
Come on, even terrorists don't deserve that kind of treatment
Yeah. Would you choose a neurosurgeon who pokes around people's brains in his spare time? I wouldn't.
No, that would break the cardinal rule of airline travel (provided you aren't first/business class), which is: No leg room.
"There are no facts, only interpretations." --Friedrich Nietzsche.
You realize of course that this is a relatively low bar. For some Senators, a fork would be "quite sophisticated".
Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
In the USA airplanes flights are almost waterproof
Huh?
Aquaman would have been no help.
I say make everyone get on board naked except the flight crew. Establishes a dominance thing. Also provide the flight crew with all kinds of Taser goodness.
Problems solved.
"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet." General James Mattis
Get a book called "Family Of Secrets". I have not read it ywt, but I have heard that is helps explain much of the very problem you are talking about over the past 50 years.
Freud might say that Intelligent Design is religion's ID.
Hydrogen Peroxide and Chapatti flour again then?
Ramadan feasts and belly dancers.
Exactly. You ban bottled water, and only outlaws will have bottled water. :P
Thank you so much for this vivid imagery.
The easy solution is g-strings, flip-flops, pasties, bath towels for every seat and lots and lots of deodorant spray.
You show me a naked terrorist on an airliner and I'll show you an unarmed terrorist on an airliner.
Not only on your lap, but on your bare skin. Creeping closer to your own naughty bits.
Karnal
Look. If you want to watch chubby porn, that's your own sick business. But please, don't describe your sick fetishes to the rest of us!
Similar to the upcoming US election results
But showers involve liquids. Lots of liquids. WAY more than 3 ounces. What if Al Qaeda piped liquid explosives into your shower?
... flying while wearing pants will no longer be permitted.
Have gnu, will travel.
I thought that was the standard /. uniform...
I think you must have missed a couple of turns on the information superhighway... your post is entirely too informative for Slashdot. Are you sure you weren't trying to post somewhere else?
512 MB RAM, 20 GB disk, 200 GB transfer, five datacenters. $19.95/month.