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Russia Plans To Divert Asteroid

CyberDong writes "Roscosmos, Russia's Federal Space Agency, will start working on a project to save planet Earth from a possible collision with Asteroid Apophis, which may happen in 2036. NASA specialists believe that the collision is extremely unlikely. Russian specialists will choose the strategy and then invite the world's leading space agencies to join the project."

21 of 305 comments (clear)

  1. Extremely unlikely by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    NASA: Listen, there's no way that thing is going to hit us.
    Roscosmos: Naturally, since we're diverting it. Thank you for your vote of confidence, American pigs.

    1. Re:Extremely unlikely by Hurricane78 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Nah, you forgot that little bit of emphasis: ;)

      NASA: Listen, there's no way that thing is going to hit us.
      Roscosmos: Yeah, because it’s going to hit us, dickheads.

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
  2. In Soviet Russia. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    You hit Aster... wait.

    In Soviet Russia, Asteroid hits Y...

    I've been defeated.

    1. Re:In Soviet Russia. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      On Asteroid, Soviet Russia hits YOU!

  3. Great quote in the article by nycguy · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Everything will be done according to the laws of physics."

    That's what they all say...

  4. Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? by stoolpigeon · · Score: 4, Funny

    based on their experience with avoiding snow - I consider this to be a highly likely outcome.

    --
    It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
  5. Can we.... by zach_the_lizard · · Score: 3, Funny

    Can we send annoying actors on a mission to land on this asteroid, drill down into it, and make it blow up? Oh, and can we have one of those guys have to stay behind to detonate it? Better yet, make them all have to stay behind.

    --
    SSC
  6. Apophis by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    can't you just call the assguard?

  7. Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? by dangitman · · Score: 4, Funny

    There's a bigger chance to get hit by Apophis then to win the lottery.

    Doesn't seem likely to me. If an asteroid hits the planet, there might not be any more lotteries run after that. And the likelihood of the asteroid hitting, and me winning the lottery shortly afterward is vanishingly small, especially as I don't enter lotteries.

    --
    ... and then they built the supercollider.
  8. Re:Russian hot air by tjhayes · · Score: 2, Funny

    their nuclear subs are barely staying afloat

    If their nuclear subs were floating that would be a bad thing, subs are supposed to sink under the water :)

  9. Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? by QuantumG · · Score: 5, Funny

    Indeed. There's a lot of exciting lotteries out there and we've got tickets in all of them.

    --
    How we know is more important than what we know.
  10. Re:asteroid by RobVB · · Score: 4, Funny

    What you're asking for is either:

    A) We hit Mars with an asteroid! Hooray for science! (15 years later) MARS AND EARTH WILL COLLIDE IN 100 YEARS"

    B) Scientists found proof of intelligent life on Mars - recent underground civilization uncovered by asteroid impact

    --
    I'd rather you rationally disagree than irrationally agree.
  11. Re:End of the world! by John+Hasler · · Score: 2, Funny

    > ...at least enough to post on slashdot.

    Nothing to worry about, then.

    --
    Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
  12. Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? by PPH · · Score: 3, Funny

    The real risks come from objects we are not currently observing.

    Russian scientists.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  13. Whatever the specifics are... by 93+Escort+Wagon · · Score: 4, Funny

    How much you wanna bet this will involve Putin, a gun, and a film crew?

    --
    #DeleteChrome
  14. Re:Russian hot air by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 2, Funny

    You'd think a commenter in the science section would understand something like buoyancy. But evidently not! Subs sink, durrrr...let's all go watch CNN now.

    --
    Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
  15. Chess by gmuslera · · Score: 2, Funny

    Once upon a time, Russia had the best Chess players of the world. Now will be have the Billiards ones.

  16. Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    4 8 15 16 23 42

  17. Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? by Talderas · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Sir, the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field are two to one!"

    "Never tell me the o-oh... well that's not bad. Never mind, let's keep going."

    --
    "Lack of speed can be overcome. In the worst case by patience." --Znork
  18. Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? by mcgrew · · Score: 2, Funny

    I want to point out that the odds of winning a state lottery jackpot, let alone a MegaMillions jackpot, are so small that your odds of buying a winning ticket are effectively no better than the odds of finding a winning ticket on the ground.

    With my luck, if I ever win the lottery we're sure to be hit by an asteroid the next day. So you guys better be glad I don't play the lotterty, and pray I never find a ticket on the ground.!

  19. Re:If it's not broken, why are you fixing it? by f8l_0e · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm afraid your joke was LOST to everyone here.