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Control Your Apps Without Your Finger
VincenzoRomano writes "You won't need to swipe your fingers over smallish touch screens. You'll move your arms, hands and fingers (or whatever else applies) in the air or shake the handset. The phone camera(s), the G-sensor, the compass and so on will be used by a software to understand the gestures and to translate them into control commands. This breakthrough comes from a company called GestureTek, a non-startup company in this field." I love the idea of my screen no longer being smudged. I hate the idea of people doing this on a bus.
I like buttons.
I like direct control.
I don't want to have to perform a fucking rain dance to appease the Apple gods (and let's face it - this is all because of Apple) to try and get my device to do a simple task.
I might as well try to arrange marshmallows while wearing boxing gloves.
Fuck this shit.
Touch screen, multitouch, gestures, accelerometers!
Shitty keyboard, no keyboard, fewer buttons, gimmicky unreliable shit!
You ever have a friend around while you're writing on physical paper? He invariably knocks your hand or grabs the paper in order to mess you up (as he SHOULD).
You ever have a friend around while you're typing or mousing? He invariably mashes the keys, grabs the mouse and starts clicking, etc. in order to mess you up (as he SHOULD).
You ever have a friend around while you're ordering from a touch screen at Jack in the Box or something? He invariably taps the screen frantically in an attempt to mess up your order and make you buy 30 "tacos" (as he SHOULD).
You ever have a friend around while you've got arms? He invariably grabs them and uses them to hit you while asking why you're hitting yourself (as he SHOULD).
You ever have a friend around while you're trying to do something delicate, like build a house of cards? He invariably stomps and tromps until it all comes tumbling down (as he SHOULD).
You ever have a friend around while you're on the phone? He invariably dances around to distract you, makes loud sexual noises or silly voices, and if it's a land line picks up another handset to mash the keypad, listen in, or breathe heavily (as he SHOULD).
I just don't like the idea of a new tech device that enables more ass hattery. Now all you'll have to do is wave your hands about, make some noise, or give a little shake. Will this shit erase everything after a few good shakes like an etch-a-sketch? Knowing the shitty gimmicky features they tack on, it'll be an option on several devices.
Oh well. Plebes, buy your retarded devices with shitty interfaces. I will make your life hell. Me? You'll at least have to pry my devices from my hands before you can interrupt me.
Only when rearranging the desktop icons. Here's a list of the most common gestures:
- raise arm and perform air-wipe over icon = launch application
- raise arm all the way up and perform slam-dunk motion = close application in active window
- perform one finger salute motion = shutdown -p now
- raise both arms, look up as if asking "Why, God, why?", drop arms and shake head = restart Microsoft Windows after a hard reset
Needs crotch gestures.
Point webcam at exposed crotch.
If genitals become engorged, MOAR.
If genitals disgorge, SOMETHING ELSE.
If genitals retract further than baseline, turn up the thermostat.
If genitals quiver then glisten, dispense wet nap.