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TV Show Seeks Terminally Ill Volunteer for Mummification
Terminal illness got you down? Does your future seems bleak? Channel 4 and production company Fulcrum TV would like to brighten your day by making you the star of an upcoming documentary. They would like to offer you the chance to be mummified on TV and maybe even displayed in a museum afterward. An advertisement for the project reads: "We are currently keen to talk to some one who, faced with the knowledge of their own terminal illness and all that it entails, would nonetheless consider undergoing the process of an ancient Egyptian embalming."
Am I going to be done terriyaki style?
Science advances one funeral at a time- Max Planck
Let me be the first to say thats kind of creepy. Are they gonna suck their organs out of them just like the egyptians used to? Cuz thats kind of weird.
Doctors do Massage in Longview WA now, who knew?
Remember, the actual brain is located in the stomach. That thing in your head is just waste and is to be disgarded!
Terminally III?
Is that, like, the sequel to Terminally II?
I am "faced with the knowledge of my own terminal illness" in that I am alive. I know that I will die, sooner or later. I understand that people who are terminally ill have a better idea as to the possible maximum, but we all have a possible maximum, and as you get older it will be looming for you, too. It annoys me when people are like "He KNOWS he's going to die, that must be so depressing". We all "know we are going to die". Nobody lives. Everyone dies. You should live accordingly.
We can never satisfactorily "cure" cancer or any other disease. "Curing" a disease is defined as letting you live long enough to die from a different one. Numbers show that millions of lives have been saved by antibiotics, but have they? Just give them a bit more time. They will die sure enough. The only reason the "terminal illness" part is relevant to this TV show is they need the person to die on their TV schedule.
Hello,
Commiserations on the news of your imminent demise. At Channel 4, we believe that the most appropriate way of dealing with this sad news, and the undoubted grief of your nearest and dearest, is for you to submit your corpse to be messed about with on national television for public "infotainment". The documentary we are producing will take just as sensitive, informative, and considerate an approach as the famous documentaries "The Boy Whose Skin Falls Off", "The Woman Who Never Grew Up" and our other televised equivalents of old-time circus freak-shows.
We've set up a 24 hour hotline, just in case you really are that close to popping your cloggs, and look forward to working with your mortal remains soon!
best regards,
Channel 4 Public Relations.
Being mummified on live TV isn't all that different from what kids are doing with Facebook these days, anyway.
Duh. Preferably you die the moment after you signed the contract so they can start making the documentary. Do you think they want to wait another 40ish years or however long you plan to live?
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
how is that possible, i thought he was an robot from the future...
God's gift to chicks
I volunteer! I expect to return to terrorize the world in a few hundred years though.
Wait, what do you mean life doesn't count as a terminal illness ?
"However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results" - Winston Churchill
Because obviously they'd like to get some filming done before May Sweeps... this is show business, you know. Can't be waiting for you to croak 20 or 30 years down the line...
Maybe they could sweeten the pot and sign me up for any future 'When Monsters Attack' specials.
Because they're looking to cash in on the morbid fascination of seeing a sexy, healthy-looking person who died of some non-obvious disease (such as certain cancers) get stripped down and cut to pieces.
It's much less can't-look-away horrifying if they're cutting up an 80-year-old. Who'll want to buy ads in THAT half-hour?
Why not? Assisted suicide live on TV? Think of the ratings!
Why not turn it into a game show where you get to pick a vowel? We can call it "Hangman".
(I'm so going to hell for that)
Life is not for the lazy.
It's for science!
No, it's for "science."
So if this is the future...where's my jet pack?
So it's not just me that sees shows like Mythbusters as an intellectual version of Jackass.
Science advances one funeral at a time- Max Planck
I much prefer the late, great prophet Bill Hicks' suggestion of recruiting the terminally as stunt fodder in action movies.
I am "faced with the knowledge of my own terminal illness"
I take it you've been diagnosed with the dreaded Alive, Well and Happy Syndrome, caused by a complex combination of healthy diet, regular exercise, a low to moderate alcohol consumption, a lack of tobacco or nicotine intake, frequent sexual intercourse and a supportive social network.
Fortunately, it's in decline among US youth; see the article published in pubdot at http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=10/01/12/1337235
Here in Oz, SBS broadcast this series. Basically it was a live autopsy with the body hung in an upright posture by wires (facing away from the camera and live audience). The "can't-look-away horror" part for me was when he removed the brain, spinal cord and siatic nerve all in one piece.
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
Tut tut tut...
[UID-HeinzIntel]
When you're making a TV show that needs a mummy army, just let me know
Please help publicise swpat.org - the software patents wiki
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Actually these costs are really cheap for wealthy people, you would think that a lot more of these rich people who die of old age (lots of them around and many more rich baby boomers are in the pipeline.
That was the most frustrating thing I've tried to parse all year. Tell me son, have they already liquefied your brains?
Your brain is not a computer.
1994. Hmm, this might be a better description.
I remember watching this done on a modern human over 10 years years ago on discovery networks... it was very cool.
from his wiki article:
"In 1994, Brier and a colleague, Ronald Wade, director of the State Anatomy Board of Maryland, claimed to be the first people in 2,000 years to mummify a human cadaver using ancient Egyptian techniques. This research earned Brier the affectionate nickname "Mr. Mummy" and was also the subject of the National Geographic television special of the same name."
Staring the most famous politicians of the world!
Then do a follow up season with dictator leaders, soap opera celebrities, ..
What the hell do you care? It's not like you're going to be lying there thinking, "Aw man, this really sucks!"
My family has approached me a few times about what I want to be done with my body when I die. My answer is always the same. I want what organs might be useful donated. After that, I really don't care. Bury me, cremate me, donate me to science, do whatever gives you what comfort and solace you need, because that's not me.
When my mom passed away, which is by far the single most gut-wrenching experience I've ever been through in my life, that thought was the only thing that got me through the funeral without totally falling apart. My mom was a lot more than just the collection of organic molecules that lay before me, and she's gone. I appreciate the body that lay before me; it was her "house" for 60 years and allowed me to see her, talk to her, interact with her, and love her. But the house was now empty. Sad, for sure, but it wasn't the loss of the house I was mourning.
So yeah, once I'm gone, you can pull my brains out through my nose and make gut soup for all I care. It was just my house, and I don't live there any more.
I heard that the "octo-mom" wants to do a reality show. How about we sign her up, call it "octo-mum"? Once she's mummified, we wouldn't have to listen to her anymore! Plus, she's already given us a head start with all that plastic surgery to make herself look like Angelina Jolie!
They weren't strange to the Aztecs!