How To Get a Job At a Mega-Corp

Barence writes "'With the economic hangover starting to wear off, the technology giants are once again recruiting in earnest. Apple, Google, and Microsoft all have vacancies on their websites, and now could be the perfect time to land a job at one of computing's biggest hitters.' PC Pro talked to people inside Microsoft, Apple, and Google to discover how to track down the best jobs, and what it takes to get through the arduous selection and interview processes." With lots of experience both within and without, what other words of wisdom can be offered to those wishing to break into a mega-corp?

Comments

Re:Apple Retail IS NOT EQUAL to Apple

[Ethanol-fueled]

Long ago I promised myself that I would never again work in a retail environment, no matter how technical it may be. Being treated like peoples' bitch puts a real hurt on your self-esteem. Here are the customers to avoid, and why:

• Asians - picky, pushy, with chalkboard-screech voices. They will try to get you to do everything for them.
• Arabs/Indians - They will load up shopping carts filled to the brim, then they will just leave. Alternately, they will go to check out, and toss items away one by one when they see the prices rung up. Guess who gets to put all those go-backs back on the shelves?
• Jews - similar to Asians above, except that they will insult your merchandise. They will find any excuse to schvitz.
• Old people - A combination of Asians and Jews above. They are by far the worst customers of all and they will always complain to the manager. If you see one, run.
• Gimps - kinda like old people, but not as bad. Make no mistake about it - they are pissed off and will invent excuses to take their rage out on you.

And now the good customers. The results may surprise you:

• Hispanics - Usually polite, very family-oriented. They tend to buy lost of foodstuffs because they make thier meals from scratch.
• Blacks - Very easygoing, with well-developed senses of humor. Contrary to popular stereotype, they are very patient when they have to wait or when something goes wrong.

And with garden-variety Caucasians you have around a 50-50 chance. They tend to be impatient.

Re:Freelance decker

[turgid]

Idealistic, young, shrewd people know that working 80+ hours a week for a megacorp is a hiding to nothing since by definition, megacorps are marketing-driven and can't produce anything truly interesting and exciting.

If you are really clever, you will work for a reasonable company 35-45 hours a week and pursue your dreams in your own time on your own terms.

Why sacrifice yourself to a bunch of ignorant, blinkered PHBs?

Re:Other words...

[antirelic]

Yes, it would be much better and environmentally friendly if we all lived like medieval peasants. Al Gore can rule over us from his 12 bedroom mansion, and drive down in his massive SUV and feed us scraps from the troves of food he bought with his carbon credit scam.

Best way to get hired is to show initiative. Its not difficult to get into the corporate world. Have a "can do" attitude, show a little independence and ability to learn.