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Anti Terror Honor System
Fortunately for us, the FAA has imposed the honor system as our next best defense against terrorism. Hopefully this will allow them to increase the volume of non-bladder liquid I'm allowed to take on planes.
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yes.
Poop dog, baby. POOP DOG.
Oops that was meant for the Slashdot editor, not you.
Since the 2009 Iranian election protests, Eric S. Raymond, self-appointed public face of the hacker movement and alleged core developer of the Linux kernel, had been running wild thinking about wishing for Middle East problems spilling over into the Americas.
His long-standing suspicion of Islam, coupled with a throbbing curiosity about a people who wiped excrement from their backsides with their bare hands, had Eric in disarray. One minute he was conspiring with Iranian hackers in IRC, the next he was bolted to Fox News, foaming at the mouth and shouting at the television.
Alongside all of this were his trusty companions, a never-ending bottle of Jägermeister and his Glock.
Eric was just posting another rant to his blog when his 386 started swapping like a man at a computer auction; Felchmale was loading a new message.
From: emad.opensores@gmail.com
To: esr@catb.org
Date: JUN 20 2009 16:27
Subject: IRANIAN HACKER COMMUNIQUÉ
Eric,
It's Emad.
I know we haven't spoken since that whole Michael incident, but I think we should put our heads together about these Iranian hackers.
Meet me at the Carney's Point Flying J at 10 PM. Get shower stall 16 and wait for me. I'll be wearing a Slashdot t-shirt and drinking Bawls.
Don't be late. The future of Iranian hackers depends on it. So does the security of America too I guess, and gun ownership or something.
Emad
Eric smiled, lurid and yellow, and checked his X11 clock. Just after 4:30. He had several hours before he was to meet Emad. He took a shot of Jäger to celebrate and logged back into the Iranian hacker IRC channel. He shoved his glock down the front of his jeans, poured another shot of Jäger, and logged into the Iranian IRC server.
Eric's glow-in-the-dark Casio calculator watch luminesced 9:59 PM at him in the darkened shower stall. He was at the Flyin' J's Travel Plaza near Penns Grove, New Jersey, and had just finished a Double Whopper with cheese and a king-sized order of onion rings. His cola sat nearby, untouched, since he'd spirited a fresh bottle of Jägermeister in with him by means of his Hackers bookbag. He was lucky to have found the rare tie-in merchandise on eBay and jumped at it; now the leader of hackers everywhere had an official bookbag.
Into his fourth shot of the night, Eric relished the ice-cold herbal liqueur. Emad was several minutes late, and Eric had taken the chance to make a particularly loud bowel movement and was now courtesy flushing for the third time in as many minutes. He downed his fifth shot of Jägermeister, whipped his sweatpants up to his belly, replaced his Glock in the waistband, and began some hacker stretches and exercises when he heard a knock at the door.
"Yes, can I help you?" Eric shouted through the thick steel door. "This shower is occupied."
"Just like Iran is occupied by the Great Satan of American interventionist politics?" came the reply from the other side.
Eric fumbled with the lock and opened the door with a scrape.
"Emad! As the leader of hackers around the world, I'd like to welcome you to my makeshift office!" Eric said, bowing. "We shall liberate our Iranian brothers this night!"
Emad looked around at the fastfood garbage, the bottle of Jäger cocked in the urinal full of ice, and a tan, tank-like Toshiba laptop sitting propped on the sink. It smelled like feces slathered in Burger King onion ring sauce. A fly buzzed somewhere in the shower stall.
"Hello, Eric," Emad said, finally locking eyes as best he could with the leader of hackerdom before him. "Before we begin this, you must explain something to me."
"Uh, what's that, Emad? I thought we had this all planned out."
Nobody wakes up in the morning and says... "HEY, I have an idea.... just for the hell of it, let's go kill some American's"
They want to stop America from F'ing around with their country...... so.... why don't we do that? Believe me, we have PLENTY of people here that need educating first.
Since FDR and before, the Constitution that PROTECTS your rights has been corrupted. You have rights because you are a living breathing human... not because the Constitution 'gives' them to you.
Do a search for Michael Badnarik and his constitution class. If you're not totally pissed off at the state of our country..... you're not in possession of the real facts.
EDUCATE YOURSELF!