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Food Activist's Life Becomes The Life of Brian

Posted by samzenpus on from the you-are-all-individuals dept.

krou writes "After food activist and author Raj Patel appeared on The Colbert Report to promote his latest book, things seemed to be going well, until he began to get inundated with emails asking if he was 'the world teacher.' In events ripped straight from The Life of Brian, it would seem that Raj Patel's life story ticks all the boxes necessary to fulfill prophecies made by Benjamin Creme, founder of religious sect Share International. After the volume of emails and inquiries got worse, Patel eventually wrote a message on his website stating categorically that he was not the Messiah. Sure enough, 'his denial merely fanned the flames for some believers. In a twist ripped straight from the script of the comedy classic, they said that this disavowal, too, had been prophesied.'"

31 of 165 comments (clear)

  1. Oblig by Brett+Buck · · Score: 4, Funny

    He's NOT the messaiah, he is a very naughty boy!

    1. Re:Oblig by Ender-s's+Father · · Score: 3, Funny

      No, they're not, son!

  2. Here come the quotes... by Psmylie · · Score: 5, Funny

    I predict a long series of Python quotes incoming. Allow me to post one of my all-time favorites:

    Followers: "Only the true Messiah denies his divinity!"
    Brian "What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I AM the Messiah!"
    Followers: "He is! He is the Messiah!"
    Brian: "Now, Fuck off!"
    *awkward pause*
    Followers: "How shall we fuck off, oh Lord?"

    One of the better parts of an overall extremely funny movie.
    Also, I predict that this article on Slashdot will make all of his email problems so much better!

    --

    psmylie's dictionary: Godzillion (noun) Any number large enough to destroy Tokyo

    1. Re:Here come the quotes... by Brett+Buck · · Score: 3, Funny

      One of the better parts of an overall extremely funny movie.
      Also, I predict that this article on Slashdot will make all of his email problems so much better!

            Now, if there were only a link to a website so we could help him even more!

          Shalshdottes Eunt Domus!

    2. Re:Here come the quotes... by maxwell+demon · · Score: 5, Funny

      I predict a long series of Python quotes incoming.

      Here's one:

      print "Hello World!"
      for i in range(1, 11):
          print i

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
    3. Re:Here come the quotes... by DeadDecoy · · Score: 2, Funny

      Clearly, he got the "Colbert Bump".

    4. Re:Here come the quotes... by icannotthinkofaname · · Score: 5, Funny

      Shalshdottes Eunt Domus!

      "The people called 'Shalshdottes' they go the house"?

      --
      Let q be a radix > 1. I am in ur base-q, killing 10 d00ds.
    5. Re:Here come the quotes... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      ... I got better ...

    6. Re:Here come the quotes... by vtechpilot · · Score: 3, Funny

      Shalshdotti ite Domum

      Now, write it out a hundred times. Hail Taco ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

      --
      Slashdot is an anagram for Has Dolts, and I am Dolt number 468543
    7. Re:Here come the quotes... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      That's not a long series of Python quotes, this is a long series of Python quotes;
      while True: print('"'),

  3. Yes! We are all individuals! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    ...

    1. Re:Yes! We are all individuals! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'm not.

  4. To be fair.... by Darth_brooks · · Score: 4, Funny

    To be fair, his book did say "Blessed are the cheese makers", so he does bear some of the culpability.

    --
    There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
    1. Re:To be fair.... by Foobar+of+Borg · · Score: 2, Funny

      To be fair, his book did say "Blessed are the cheese makers", so he does bear some of the culpability.

      Well, to be fair, he wasn't speaking literally. I think he meant any manufacturer of dairy products.

      --
      Similar to the upcoming US election results
  5. So... by 2names · · Score: 3, Funny

    is he with the People's Front of Judea or the Judean People's Front?

    --
    "I'm just here to regulate funkiness."
  6. A food activist? by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 2, Funny

    All ye who call yourself Gourdenes...

    --
    Ezekiel 23:20
  7. You're the popular front, aren't you... by Burning+Plastic · · Score: 4, Funny

    Splitter!

    --
    [All Your Fish Are Belong To Us]
  8. All that attention must be torture, but... by sanche · · Score: 2, Funny

    Don't grumble, give a whistle
    And this'll help things turn out for the best...

    And...always look on the bright side of life...
    Always look on the light side of life...

  9. Re:Photos on Slashdot. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Shame you started using photos in stories. Never has the foot icon been more appropriate.

    Those responsible have been sacked for their indiscretions.

  10. Re:I'm not the Messiah either by selven · · Score: 4, Funny

    Listen closely. I'd like to help you but I can't. I'd like to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on... Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X... on the third floor, but I can't. I also do not advise you to fill out and file a WS2475 form with our legal department on the second floor. I would not expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd like to help, but there's nothing I can do.

  11. Jee-Hovah by Itninja · · Score: 3, Funny

    Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!

    --
    I judt got a nre Kinesis keybiartf so please excusr ant egregiou typos.
    1. Re:Jee-Hovah by mr_death · · Score: 2, Funny

      "No one, is to stone anyone, until I blow this whistle ..."

      --
      It's Linux, damnit! Pay no attention to renaming attempts by self-aggrandizing blowhards.
  12. Well ... by krou · · Score: 5, Funny

    Patel eventually wrote a message on his website stating categorically that he was not the Messiah

    I say you are Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.

    --
    'If Christ had tweeted the sermon on the mount, it might have lasted until nightfall.' - John Perry Barlow
  13. Re:Not for Buddhism by maxwell+demon · · Score: 3, Funny

    There's a saying in Buddhism, "If you see the Buddha on the side of the road; kill him!"

    I guess he can consider himself lucky that he was identified as Messiah, not as Buddha ...

    --
    The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
  14. Re:How to fix the problem... by geekoid · · Score: 2, Funny

    after all scientology has a way more suckers t"

    Don't belittle the victims.

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  15. Story Time! by Lifyre · · Score: 4, Funny

    My unit had our own little Monty Python story in Iraq.

    We were watching Holy Grail in the shop late when a core switch caught fire shortly followed by it's neighbor so now it goes...

    "What do we burn?"

    "SWITCHES!"

    "What else do we burn?"

    "MORE SWITCHES"

    --
    I'll meet you at the intersection of "Should be" and "Reality"
    1. Re:Story Time! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Many ages ago, my ship went around the Horn. Before we left we all chipped in for a vcr player (ages ago, remember) but sadly forgot to get but 2 tapes, Monty Python and the Holy Grail was one, of course, the other was a really bizarre porno called "I like to watch" (which if I remember had the redeeming feature of all the music being done by kazoo's played by the actors and actresses. yes in the nude. awesome...)

      As we went through the Straits of Magellan, penguins swam around us, and my crew asked me, "You know everything, are penguins birds or fishes?"

      Of course I replied "Do they not float?"

      "Burn the Penguins!" They cried and ran about the decks like the heathens they were.

      My Division Officer came out to the main deck about that time, looked at my guys, looked at me and asked "Do I even want to know?"

      I told him "just be glad we didn't have any kazoos."

      no, I didn't, I told him "monty python fans."

      "Ah" he said as he went back inside.

  16. Re:How to fix the problem... by thewiz · · Score: 3, Funny

    Tell them he's not their messiah but he wants all of their money so he can spend it on hookers and blow.

    That's a little unimaginative; we see that on a near-daily basis from athletes, politicians and developers.

    How about he gets these unwanted believers to dress in burlap tunics, hit themselves on the forehead with a thick oak board while chanting?

    --
    If "disco" means "I learn" in Latin, does "discothèque" mean "I learn technology"?
  17. Re:I loved this part by Maniacal · · Score: 3, Funny

    Ok. WTF. Is the South Asian Post the eastern equivalent to the Onion? There is no way that's a real story. What a riot. I love this line FTFA:

    He lives among 80 eunuchs — castrated men — at the temple. But some have their doubts that he is equipped to be a goddess. A eunuch called Sudha said: “He is a fake. I checked and he still has a penis."

    There's another line further down in which a woman says she's going to see Steve because her sister did and immediately got pregnant. Looks like goddess Steve has been using his penis to do the blessings :)

    --
    MG
  18. Re:Who says he ain't a religious leader? by drinkypoo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Actually, he's not directing how we should eat, he's trying to direct how we should change our concepts of personal property, right and wrong, and personal responsibility such that millions don't starve while other millions throw away food.

    So, he's directing how we should eat, then?

    --
    "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
  19. Re:"Since God has given us the Papacy, ..." by drinkypoo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Raj Patel might want to consult the wisdom of Winston, after having consulted the wisdom of Brian.

    "My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them."

    --
    "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"