How the TSA Plans On Inspecting Your Monkey

The uncertainty of what might happen to your service monkey at an airport security checkpoint won't keep you awake at night anymore, thanks to the TSA. They have issued an easy to follow list of how they will ensure your helper monkey won't go all Planet of the Apes on your flight. Some of the security techniques used to make sure your primate is not a terrorist include: "Security Officers will conduct a visual inspection on the service monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection. The inspection process may require that the handler to take off the monkey's diaper as part of the visual inspection."

Comments

That's not unusual.

[Rene S. Hollan]

When I traveled between the U.S. and Canada, it was typical for me to remove pet cat and guinea pig from carriers and carry them by hand through the metal detectors. Surprisingly, the cat had greater veterinary bill of health requirements than the guinea pig.

Re:That's not unusual.

[Wyatt Earp]

When I travelled through Canada to get to Alaska we took our pets. The two cats were easy, vet paperwork saying they didn't have rabies and had shots etc.

We also have three reptiles, a Green Iguana who is 15 years old, a Central Inland Bearded Dragon and a Saharan Uromastyx (orange). I looked up the rules on taking exotics into Canada and there is some conflicting information.

http://www.inspection.gc.ca/english/anima/imp/petani/amphe.shtml and the Canadian Food Inspection Agency told me -
"Reptiles do not require any certification from CFIA but they do need CITES permits." I don't have CITES permits, so I printed out the page that said I don't need anything and went to the border. Oh in emailing the CFIA they said I needed CITES permits, photos of the reptiles in question mailed to them and to wait 6-12 weeks for permit.

I go to the border with reptiles in the backseat of the car, in clear plastic containers where the Iguana does what he does best, stands still as a rock. We didn't tell them about the lizards, but there they were, up high and in plain sight. No questions asked.

We get to the US border crossing and the agent looks into the car and says "How did you get those into Canada? Did they know you brought them in???"

wtf?

[Pharmboy]

What has this, or half the articles on the front page lately, have to do with "News for Nerds"? Has the tech world suddenly gotten so boring that Slashdot is reduced to publishing stories about "Service Monkeys"?

Re:wow. they *exist*

[FalcDot]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oEYH7m1cmo

Animals aren't that complicated, really. If they're not hungry and do not feel threatened, they have no reason to attack humans, no matter what size they are.

Re:Now's the time on Sprockets when we dahnce

[Fujisawa Sensei]

Are you telling me that TSA security officers are forbidden to spank the monkey?

That duty is left to the handler, who is probably required to spank the monkey on command.