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Battlefield Earth Screenwriter Accepts Razzie

An anonymous reader writes "The New York Post has a story about J.D. Shapiro, and his gracious acceptance of a Razzie award for writing Battlefield Earth. He first offers an apology to anyone who has seen it, then he offers a funny, outsider's perspective of dealing with Scientologists, and the subsequent mangling of his script for what was once allegedly referred to by John Travolta as 'The Schindler's List of Sci-Fi.'"

29 of 295 comments (clear)

  1. I thought it was a good movie by Matt+Perry · · Score: 4, Funny

    Although, John Travolta is never the right guy to be in a scifi film.

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  2. Schindler's List of SciFi? by Opportunist · · Score: 4, Funny

    If you replace Schindler's List with Killer Tomatoes and SciFi with Propaganda Movies, we can talk.

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    1. Re:Schindler's List of SciFi? by dkf · · Score: 5, Funny

      If you replace Schindler's List with Killer Tomatoes and SciFi with Propaganda Movies, we can talk.

      Oh, it works just fine. It's just the wrong Schindler and the wrong List. We're talking Dave Schindler and his List of 100 Best Ever Fart Jokes.

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    2. Re:Schindler's List of SciFi? by nacturation · · Score: 2, Funny

      They could always make a movie about Schindler's Lift: http://www.schindler.com/

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  3. You don't know the history of the Razzies. I do. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Slashdot, don't even — you're glib. You don't even know what bad movies are. If you start talking about bad movies, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these screenplays, Slashdot, okay? That's what I've done.

  4. I loved that movie by DeadRat4life · · Score: 3, Funny

    in the same way The Room is my favorite film of all time. I think i enjoy bad movies a lot more than good movies. I also smoke a lot of pot, so that might have something to do with it.

  5. I've got chills by FuckingNickName · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...

  6. Re:Why? by GNUALMAFUERTE · · Score: 2, Funny

    You would have taken the money, banged all the hot scientologists you could get your hands on, gotten the fuck out of there, and called it a night. Just like the rest of us ;) (And like this guy, off course)

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  7. Re:Why? by syousef · · Score: 5, Funny

    If we believe his story, then the original screenplay was nothing at all like the finished product. The Scientologists asked him to totally rewrite it, he refused, they fired him and got someone else to rewrite it. So at that point it became a choice between taking his name off the credits or getting paid. I'm honestly not sure what I would have done in that situation.

    Are you kidding man? He got to TAKE money AWAY from Scientology!!! How many get that opportunity? Falling on his sword was a no brainer.

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  8. hilarious article by C0vardeAn0nim0 · · Score: 3, Funny

    if he wrote a movie based on his experience with The CoS, it'll be one of the funniest comedies ever.

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  9. Re:Why? by binarylarry · · Score: 2, Funny

    Getting blowjobs from barbarino does not sound like my ideal work week.

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  10. Re:Why? by WrongSizeGlass · · Score: 4, Funny

    Getting blowjobs from Barbarella does sound like my ideal work week.

    T,FTFY

  11. Re:why has he decided to accept it now? by NiceGeek · · Score: 4, Funny

    Because it was the Razzie for the worst movie of the decade, you kinda have to wait for the decade to be over before you do that.

  12. Re:Why? by cdrudge · · Score: 4, Funny

    banged all the hot scientologists you could get your hands on

    He addressed that too. Unless you were married, you weren't going to have sex with a hot scientologist. And yes, he even tried to use the loophole that it didn't say married to each other.

  13. Battlefield Earth was so bad... by preaction · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... my VCR spit out the tape about 5 minutes in, thus saving me from ever seeing any substantial part of the movie and wanting to claw my own eyes out. That VCR no longer works at all, but I keep him around, just to stop by and say "Thanks" every once in a while.

    1. Re:Battlefield Earth was so bad... by ImprovOmega · · Score: 2, Funny

      Dude, I watched the Nostalgia Critic's review of the Star Wars Holiday Special and wanted to claw my own eyes out. There's no geek cred there, it exists only to ravage your soul and leave you a hollow, weeping, terrorized shell.

  14. Re:Why? by demonlapin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, I'd be lying if I said I never wondered what it might be like to violate a Scientologist.

  15. unacceptable by jollyreaper · · Score: 3, Funny

    I won't take his apology seriously until he takes it seriously. The Japanese have a ceremony that helps to convey complete sincerity. I suggest he uses it.

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  16. Re:You're Doing It Wrong by demonlapin · · Score: 3, Funny

    I know a guy who watch six hours of "The Puppy Bowl" while high

    Kids, this is why your parents tell you that pot makes you a loser. Just FYI.

  17. Re:You don't know the history of the Razzies. I do by kramulous · · Score: 4, Funny

    What's glib got to do with it?

    It solves all sorts of portability problems.

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  18. Re:Dunno by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    What if it comes up in acausal conversation?

  19. Re:Dunno by WeatherGod · · Score: 2, Funny

    You must be a lot of fun at parties, carrying around copies of Battlefield Earth and The Profit just to torture your friends with...

  20. Re:Why? by TangoMargarine · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Sir Nick Knack"? Really? He might as well have gone with Oddjob or Jaws.

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  21. Re:This guy rocks by _Sprocket_ · · Score: 2, Funny

    Read the whole interview. It's totally worth it. A mans odyssey while trying to get laid at all costs.

    I sense a Hollywood pitch...

  22. Re:You don't know the history of the Razzies. I do by longfalcon · · Score: 2, Funny

    flawless execution. +1 internets to you sir.

  23. Schindler's List of Sci-Fi? by matunos · · Score: 4, Funny

    More like the Auschwitz of Sci-Fi.

    There, I said it.

  24. Re:Why? by Angostura · · Score: 2, Funny

    Moderators! You mark this informative when it describes an orangutan's ass as purple?! Honestly, what is Slashdot coming to?

  25. Re:Why? by mcgrew · · Score: 2, Funny

    Better than "Patty Whack".

    Give the dog a bone!

  26. Re:Why? by MrNiceguy_KS · · Score: 2, Funny

    An even better line from TFA:

    I took a few courses, including the Purification Rundown, or Purif. You go to CC every day, take vitamins and go in and out of a sauna so toxins are released from your body. You're supposed to reach an "End Point." I never did, but I was bored so I told them I had a vision of L. Ron. They said, "What did he say?" "Pull my finger," was my response. They said I was done.

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