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15 Years of Microsoft Bob

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the celebrate-good-times-come-on dept.

harrymcc writes "Microsoft Bob — still synonymous in the tech industry with 'embarrassing flop' — shipped fifteen years ago this week, on March 31st, 1995. When the Windows interface featuring animated cartoon helpers was announced, it was hyped to the heavens and briefly accepted as a breakthrough that showed where software was going. Instead, dismal reviews and poor sales killed it after only a year on the market. At Technologizer, we're marking the anniversary with a complete look at how it came to be and why it failed so resoundingly — and how Microsoft tried again with Office's 'Clippy' and other attempts to revive the basic idea."

45 of 191 comments (clear)

  1. Oh great... by sixteenraisins · · Score: 4, Funny

    And to think, I was *this* close to actually forgetting about this miserable piece of shit.

    Thanks, Slashdot. \:

    --
    When you're not looking, this sig is in Latin.
    1. Re:Oh great... by piripiri · · Score: 3, Informative

      There you are, take some screenies in your face.

    2. Re:Oh great... by commodore64_love · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Probably would have succeeded if it had been released during the Windows 3 years. Believe it or not, I think BOB was superior to that piece'o'crap.

      Then again, what wasn't better than Windows 3? MacOS System 6/7 or Amiga Workbench were both better. Hell even Commodore=64's GEOS was better.

      "I minimized my Word doc, and now I can't find it. Where'd it go?" - "It's behind the program manager." - "Grrrr."

      --
      "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - historian Evelyn Beatrice Hall
    3. Re:Oh great... by c++0xFF · · Score: 4, Insightful

      How long must keep bringing up such a miserable piece of junk and humiliating Microsoft?

      Forever. And often. They need some humility.

      We should do the same for other companies -- Apple needs some humility, too.

    4. Re:Oh great... by edittard · · Score: 4, Insightful

      It looks like you're trying to get a first post. Would you like me to:

      * Help you with a template

      * Waste your time so you fail it

      * Just bugger off

      --
      At the bottom of the /. main page it says 'Yesterday's News'. Well they got that right.
    5. Re:Oh great... by BrokenHalo · · Score: 2, Funny

      Did I mentionned[sic] OS/2 had it too... ?

      No, but you might remember that OS/2 was only half of an operating system. ;-)

    6. Re:Oh great... by hairyfeet · · Score: 2, Insightful

      But to be fair (and I hate to even seem to be nice to BOB, as I'm old enough to have given it a spin and boy did it suck) it was 1994 folks, and lots of tech did sucketh back then. And at least it wasn't as bad as driveby Comet Cursors or those damned Geocities pages that would drag shit behind you cursor and turn your PC into a slideshow.

      But if you want to rag MSFT there are a lot worse fuck ups to point out, such as WinME (the only OS that could make win98SE look rock solid) or Vista (you seem to want to smack me: cancel or allow?) or the RRoD (have friends working on their 3rd and 4th x360s) instead of bringing up an OS from the age of dinosaurs.

      --
      ACs don't waste your time replying, your posts are never seen by me.
  2. Bob Who? by Bob_Who · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...Oh yeah. I always wondered what the heck everyone was talking about.....

  3. Hey by kiehlster · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I enjoyed Microsoft Bob very much, as a child. The post-modern room was amazing. I spent hours playing around with that program, so it has sentimental value to me you insensitive clod.

    1. Re:Hey by istartedi · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Well, that pretty much sums it up. You enjoyed it as a kid. Trouble is, it was marked to adults.

      --
      For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
    2. Re:Hey by Stargoat · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I have several adult users who would have loved to have Microsoft Bob. As it was, there was very cranky people well I changed to Office 2007 and they lost their Paperclips or Kitty Cat or whatever the heck they had. These cranky people are not knuckleheads, but rather accountants, loan officers, and other people who like a touchy-feely PC.

      The problem is not that Microsoft Bob was marketed to adults, but rather it is IT guys who buy software for organizations. A PC is a tool and like all tools, works best with the fewest necessary peripheries. IT guys recognize this. They have no use for Bob and they feel (perhaps rightly) that their users should have no use for Bob and Bob like programs bring no real value.

      --
      Hoist Number One and Number Six.
    3. Re:Hey by Scrameustache · · Score: 5, Funny

      These cranky people are not knuckleheads, but rather accountants

      You and I have wildly diverging opinions of accountants...

      --

      You can't take the sky from me...

    4. Re:Hey by Matrix14 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Yeah, Bob was pretty cool when I was a child. I used to spend hours arranging things in imaginary rooms.

      Now I code.

    5. Re:Hey by einhverfr · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Looking at the screenshots, I think there were some fairly cool ideas in Bob which the industry could learn from. Like many MS products thought I can say "Great ideas! Terrible Implementations!"

      I particularly like the way it seems to have been designed to mimic paper-and-pen methods for doing things. Even if the approach was childish and gimicky, it looks like some of the basic UI decisions were in the right direction, if implemented badly.

      --

      LedgerSMB: Open source Accounting/ERP
  4. it failed because it's bullshit technology by jollyreaper · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Bullshit technology is defined as tech that appears to be doing something useful but you end up wasting more time with it than you'd ever save.

    BOB is bullshit technology. Voice recognition for the longest time has been bullshit. It's rapidly becoming more useful. Blackberries and the like for business needs can be useful but often becomes bullshit technology when people use them ineffectively.

    --
    Kwisatz Haderach
    Sell the spice to CHOAM
    This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
    1. Re:it failed because it's bullshit technology by Thud457 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Bob's just a ripoff of Magic Cap. Once again, Microsoft with embrace, extend, extinguish.

      --

      the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

    2. Re:it failed because it's bullshit technology by c++0xFF · · Score: 2, Funny

      Searching around I found Apple's Cyberdog a web browser with a similar (but not nearly so pervasive) interface.

      For once I'm grateful for the "extinguish" part of Microsoft's philosophy.

  5. After Bob was cloned by genghisjahn · · Score: 2

    he (they) went on to a great career as a downsizing consultants. If you ever hear about a "meeting with the Bobs", better get your resume ready.

    --
    Sorry about the mess.
  6. My Mom Liked Clippy by Petersko · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I think the problem with Clippy was that he was ten years too early. If the little fellow was around today he wouldn't get nearly as much abuse. People are more used to the wizard idea now, and to being guided through tasks.

    Back then the average user was (I suspect) more technically knowledgeable - the PC as appliance wasn't entrenched. So everybody felt a little insulted when Clippy stuck his nose in their work.

    So yes, my mom liked Clippy. If you actually needed his help he was reasonably helpful.

    1. Re:My Mom Liked Clippy by Deathlizard · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I agree that it was ahead of it's time.

      If you could replace Clippy with Hatsume Miku, Japanese sales of Office would go through the roof.

      --
      In Soviet Russia, Trojan exploits YOU!
    2. Re:My Mom Liked Clippy by Scrameustache · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I think the problem with Clippy was that he was ten years too early.

      It looks like you're trying to do some work, would you like me to interrupt?

      I had a college friend who called me in a panic once, she had a paper due the following day and Clippy had popped up and WOULD NOT GO AWAY. It completely prevented her from continuing with her work. I drove there, and found the option to get rid of that monstrosity buried in some deep menu so she could continue after that wasted hour... Clippy should have been the focus of a class-action lawsuit that would have put MS out of business as a warning to others, if there was any justice in the world.

      --

      You can't take the sky from me...

    3. Re:My Mom Liked Clippy by Thorwak · · Score: 2, Insightful

      It could tell you answers to really basic things (How do I print a document?), but more advanced questions usually gave an amusing answer at best. Still, I agree with the GP Clippy could be useful for the complete novice.

      The problem, if you ask me, was that the average PC was too slow at the time so the computer would almost freeze for several seconds and perhaps even swap parts of Office to disk. The frustration of this happening whenever "It looks like you're writing a letter" of course made most ppl hate the whole thing.

      Oh that reminds me :)
      Helpful Clippy

      --
      Connection closed by foreign host.
    4. Re:My Mom Liked Clippy by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Nonsense. Bob and Clippy and that annoying little dog are derided because they're so irritatingly, cloyingly, adorably cute. It's bad enough having your intelligence insulted by an obtrusive "wizard" that isn't, but the OMG PONIEZ!! aspect is just the last straw.

      --
      No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
    5. Re:My Mom Liked Clippy by jollyreaper · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I think the problem with Clippy was that he was ten years too early. If the little fellow was around today he wouldn't get nearly as much abuse. People are more used to the wizard idea now, and to being guided through tasks.

      Back then the average user was (I suspect) more technically knowledgeable - the PC as appliance wasn't entrenched. So everybody felt a little insulted when Clippy stuck his nose in their work.

      They're still not getting this stuff right. Last week I had to help someone from another department with a mail merge. Office 2007, oh joy. Now there's the usual problems with the wizard not seeing the data source from excel because it doesn't like characters used to name the worksheet or it wants/doesn't want to see a named range, that kind of thing. But the problem here is that the addresses wouldn't line up right in Word. The problem was that Word wanted the address in an invisible text box and it defaulted the address block outside of that box. So I had to go manually cut the address block, then click around on the screen until I highlighted the box, thus revealing it, and paste the block in. I can't even begin to fault my coworker for being stumped on this one. It's the kind of problem she shouldn't be encountering.

      I'll go back to the car analogy. Early cars were fussy and demanding. You either had to be a mechanic who enjoyed twiddling with them or hire a mechanic to twiddle it for you. Cars these days have gotten far more reliable. You take it in for maintenance when you're told to and the car won't suffer unexpected failures, they just frickin' work. You don't need to know about timing belts and spark plugs and carburetors vs fuel injection. You just have to have some common sense. Don't drive your car in loose sand. Don't drive through flooded streets. Don't take corners too sharply. People will still make these mistakes but it's not the fault of the car or the engineers.

      Software hasn't reached that point yet, not universally. Certainly there have been many improvements across the board. But there are still areas that are, frankly, embarrassing. Microsoft deserves a good portion of the blame simply because they are so huge and influential but they aren't alone.

      --
      Kwisatz Haderach
      Sell the spice to CHOAM
      This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
    6. Re:My Mom Liked Clippy by nmb3000 · · Score: 4, Informative

      I had a college friend who called me in a panic once, she had a paper due the following day and Clippy had popped up and WOULD NOT GO AWAY.

      I have to say I find that unlikely considering that the Office assistant does not steal focus away from the program you're using and that moving it out of the way is as difficult as clicking and dragging it to the side of the screen. And the deep, secret menu to get rid of it? Right click and choose "Hide".

      Every time this topic comes up, it seems like the people most vehemently against Clippy and MS BOB were the people who never actually even saw or used them. They just see that it's fashionable to hate them and jump on board.

      --
      "What do you despise? By this are you truly known." --Princess Irulan, Manual of Muad'Dib
      /)
    7. Re:My Mom Liked Clippy by BrokenHalo · · Score: 3, Insightful

      they just frickin' work. You don't need to know about timing belts and spark plugs and carburetors vs fuel injection. You just have to have some common sense.

      Unfortunately, modern cars seem to make these conditions mutually exclusive. They are designed for people who have no common sense, and discourage its use.

      In the days when we had to double-declutch through every gear and make allowances for iffy brakes or steering, no-one had any expectation that talking on the phone while playing a bouzouki were compatible with driving safely.

  7. Don't Forget Melinda Gates... by nweaver · · Score: 5, Funny

    How did she meet Bill?

    She was Unit Manager for Microsoft Bob...

    --
    Test your net with Netalyzr
    1. Re:Don't Forget Melinda Gates... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      How did she meet Bill?

      She was Unit Manager for Microsoft Bob...

      Bill: Well hello there, how'd you like to manage my unit? *strikes pose*

    2. Re:Don't Forget Melinda Gates... by Daltorak · · Score: 4, Informative

      How did she meet Bill?

      She was Unit Manager for Microsoft Bob...

      This isn't correct. MS Bob was released in 1995; Bill and Melinda met in 1987. She'd just joined Microsoft and was a programmer -- and by all accounts, a pretty good one at that. Plus, she's pretty hot, and she was 23 that year. Wouldn't you scoop up a girl like that, especially back then when women were still really rare in the field?

    3. Re:Don't Forget Melinda Gates... by gtall · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hi there, I see you are making a pass at a girl half your age. Would you like:

      * some helpful pickup lines 'cause, you know, you've been failing miserably up to now.

      * a butt lift so she won't have premonitions of your commercial with Jerry Seinfeld.

      * a personality adjustment so you don't act like a geek with a developmental disability.

  8. Microsoft Bob? by DarkKnightRadick · · Score: 4, Funny

    Is he any relation to Baghdad Bob?

    Baghdad Bob: "No, there are no allied tanks rolling through Baghdad."
    *background shows tanks rolling through Baghdad*

    --
    "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death." Proverbs 16:25 (NKJV)
  9. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  10. If you have Windows XP, you got a copy of Bob by aoshi73 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Nice story about MS Bob. Run a search on Bing for "History taking up space." Here is the direct link: http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/magazine/2008.07.windowsconfidential.aspx

    --
    http://nyewin.org http://nyexug.com http://nycsqlusergroup.com http://nylug.org
    1. Re:If you have Windows XP, you got a copy of Bob by 6031769 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Run a search on Bing

      It's always good to have a genuinely laughter-inducing moment before the end of the day. Thanks for this.

      --
      Burns: We're building a casino!
      McAllister: Arrr. Give me 5 minutes.
    2. Re:If you have Windows XP, you got a copy of Bob by Thud457 · · Score: 3, Informative

      No mod points today, so thank you. That was interesting, amusing and brief.

      --

      the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

  11. Re:Half-Life of Bob by TheRaven64 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Well that explains Steam. 'It appears that you are trying to waste some time on a game. Would you like to debug you network connection instead?'

    --
    I am TheRaven on Soylent News
  12. Don't you mean 14 years AFTER Microsoft Bob by l0ungeb0y · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Since it only lasted a year on the market and quickly fell into disuse, I do not see how we've had 15 years of Bob.
    Instead, we've seen user interfaces and platforms change quite a bit in that time.

  13. Clippy love by confused+one · · Score: 2, Funny

    Give Clippy some love. I thought he was actually kind of fun, in an occasionally annoying pops-up when you don't want him kind of way.

  14. All you need to know about BOB... by Bemopolis · · Score: 2, Interesting

    is that is inspired the creation of Comic Sans.

    Enjoy the licking flames of Hell, Robert.

    --
    "I guess the moral of the story is, don't paint your airship with rocket fuel." -- Addison Bain
  15. "BOB" at the Las Vegas airport by StefanJ · · Score: 2, Funny

    I used to work a lot of trade shows. Comdex, CES, early multimedia trade shows.

    I attended the shows where Microsoft Bob was announced. The hype was amazing. Taxi had signs. The daily magazines they hand out had adverts.

    The funniest bit of promotion: Microsoft hired a limo driver, or at least a guy in a limo driver costume, to wander around the arrival concourse at McCarren. He was holding a big sign with "BOB" written on it.

    As in, Bob was arriving at CES (or whatever show that was)!

    Of course, as a Pope in the Church of the SubGenius, I knew the greatness of "Bob" all along.

  16. What happened to Einstein? by nemeosis · · Score: 2, Interesting

    What happened to the Einstein helper?

    I loved that character. It was cute and tried to act intelligent. It was useful, and provided some animated relief humor to amuse my train of thought during long hours of working on Word documents or Excel spreadsheets.

  17. unix gurus in hell by thrillseeker · · Score: 2

    http://www.ibiblio.org/Dave/Dr-Fun/df9507/df950713.jpg

  18. Why 'Bob'? by NicknamesAreStupid · · Score: 2

    Anyone ever figure out why they picked the name 'Bob'? Why not 'Paul' or 'Bill' or 'Steve'? There has got to be a story behind it, like 'Google'. When Google was founded, the president of Yahoo was Tim Koogle.

    1. Re:Why 'Bob'? by PPH · · Score: 2, Funny

      They named it after the character from Twin Peaks. The demon that went around possessing other people's souls.

      --
      Have gnu, will travel.
  19. Using a puppy to find files by Walter+White · · Score: 2, Funny

    It makes me feel so professional when an animated puppy helps me find files.

    Who does there branding? Mr. Rogers?