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Navy Wants Cyber Weapons That Shoot Data Beams

Posted by timothy on from the all-your-base-all-your-base-all-your-base dept.

ectotherm writes "By 2018, the US Navy hopes to equip its fighter jets with the ability to shoot data streams containing 'specialized waveforms and algorithms,' useful in an electronic attack or cyber-invasion. A few non-classified details here."

17 of 123 comments (clear)

  1. Can you fit them on the heads of sharks? by Skarecrow77 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm just asking?

    1. Re:Can you fit them on the heads of sharks? by MrNaz · · Score: 2, Funny

      Only if the data is modulated in a collimated, uniform wavelength beam of light known as a "laser".

      --
      I hate printers.
  2. Re:April Fools is over by Lehk228 · · Score: 3, Funny

    i can shoot a stream of information...

    --
    Snowden and Manning are heroes.
  3. What? by Mitchell314 · · Score: 4, Funny

    So now we're trying to rick-roll enemy pilots in dog fights?

    --
    I read TFA and all I got was this lousy cookie
    1. Re:What? by Tetsujin · · Score: 3, Funny

      So now we're trying to rick-roll enemy pilots in dog fights?

      No, it's a cyber-invasion. The weapon unleashes a flood of A/S/L requests.

      --
      Bow-ties are cool.
    2. Re:What? by TubeSteak · · Score: 4, Funny

      American Pilot 1: Oh shit! They just launched missiles!
      American Pilot 2: Quick, do a barrel roll!
      American Pilot 1: I am saved!

      --
      [Fuck Beta]
      o0t!
  4. Oh no... by gad_zuki! · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...they're shooting data beams at our Gibson! Release the Da Vinci virus!!!

  5. In the Navy by gad_zuki! · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm sure Navy guys have a lot of practice shooting coded "information" at each other during long stretches at sea.

  6. hit 'em with a 404! by circletimessquare · · Score: 2, Funny

    finish them off with a 500!

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  7. Re:Yet another DARPA idea straight out of sci-fi by Gerzel · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah DARPA what have they ever come up with that's panned out?

    Now if you excuse me I'm gonna go surf the net a bit more.

  8. Had to happen sooner or later by aquabat · · Score: 3, Funny

    Great. It's a spam gun. Way to go Uncle Sam. This thing has to contravene the Geneva Convention for inhumane weapons.

    --
    A republic cannot succeed till it contains a certain body of men imbued with the principles of justice and honour.
  9. Rick Roll Rockets by moteyalpha · · Score: 4, Funny

    They could project goatse links into the enemy planes computers and while they are distracted, send a missile up their tailpipe. Oops, that might be a bad metaphor.

  10. STOP PLEASE!!!!!! by failedlogic · · Score: 2, Funny

    Will everyone please stop ridiculing this article!

    We must "shoot data streams containing 'specialized waveforms and algorithms" or the terrorists win!

  11. Re:I want a pony by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Only on slashdot could a cutback in one's snackfood budget feed a horse.

  12. Re:Down for me by binarylarry · · Score: 3, Funny

    This vicious slashdotting will teach them about the nature of hardware disabling data beams.

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    Mod me down, my New Earth Global Warmingist friends!
  13. Data Beams by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Data beams onto the enemy ship to save Riker who has been taken hostage by the aliens.

  14. Re:April Fools is over by Grimbleton · · Score: 2, Funny

    Welcome to erf!