Slashdot Mirror
Woman Claims Wii Fit Caused Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome
Amanda Flowers always liked her Wii Fit but now she can't get enough of it. Amanda claims a fall from her balance board damaged a nerve and has left her suffering from persistent sexual arousal syndrome. From the article: "The catering worker said: 'It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm.' A doctor diagnosed her with persistent sexual arousal syndrome due to a damaged nerve."
> Single Amanda, 24, from Harpurhey, Manchester,
Dear Amanda,
Please contact me offline. Although I will be straight forward and admit right away that I can't cure you, I still have something that might help you live an happier life with the syndrome.
Truly yours,
Everything I write is lies, read between the lines.
Woman Claims Nerve Damage Caused Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. Doctors Unsurprised.
Woman Further Claims That Falling On The Floor Can Cause Nerve Damage. Doctors Still Unsurprised.
Woman Then Observes That Balancing On A Small Piece Of Plastic Can Result In Falling On The Floor. Doctors Remain Unsurprised.
Hey, you know what else can "cause" persistent sexual arousal syndrome? Basically anything.
Breaking Into the Industry - A development log about starting a game studio.
Shine a price scanner in her face! That's the cure.
:-D
Then she'll be horny *and* talk dirty all the time.
Haida Manga
Single Amanda, 24, from Harpurhey, Manchester,...
She won't be single for long.
Attention zealots and haters: 00100 00100
... now I am definitely buying it for her this year!
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
Woman has Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome, now knows what it's like to be a man.
Not a sentence!
Woman Claims Nerve Damage Caused Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. Doctors Unsurprised.
Woman Further Claims That Falling On The Floor Can Cause Nerve Damage. Doctors Still Unsurprised.
Woman Then Observes That Balancing On A Small Piece Of Plastic Can Result In Falling On The Floor. Doctors Remain Unsurprised.
Hey, you know what else can "cause" persistent sexual arousal syndrome? Basically anything.
Have some compassion.
Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome is very real. Imagine having an itch that you could never scratch away. An itch that was always there. Now, replace that itch with an erection and a desire to release your semen storage 24/7.
I went through 4 years of it in high-school, and would not wish it upon my worst enemy.
if(Slashdot && Vaginas){
if(sleeping){
wakeup();
else
panic();
}
In soviet russia the government regulates the companies.
You suffer from persistent sexual arousal symptom?
Look here, several other thoroughly researched articles of the highest value to all of us:
How Jeremy Clarkson has a 10 inch dick
How Katie Price's tits could explode during her diving holiday
or
That Skinny Women really don't want to get fat
m( - Facepalm emoticon
This is the first and only time a woman will complain of having too many orgasms.
Chatroulette did the same thing to me.
If I can be modded down for being a troll, can I be modded up for being an orc, or a balrog?
No that would be called a zero sum game, nothing lost for trying.
Got Code?
I bet once she sees some Slashdotters, any sexual arousal she might suffer from will quickly recede.
Make America grate again!
Taking the braces off is a good first step to resolving the particular issue, though....
Can you be Even More Awesome?!
Well, right it out a hundred times by sun-up or we'll cut your balls off.
Hail Caesar!
...
Oh fuck, write.
Sigh, some mornings it pays not to post to /.
...
"Wii so horny".
mmm... yeah... You see, we're putting the cover sheets on all TPS reports now before they go out...
-1 Nauseating.
Depends on your point of view I guess. Personally, I think if you haven't broken furniture at least once you're not doing it right.
*Puh-lease*. This is Slashdot.
If you haven't caused a data center to fail over, you're not doing it right...
There's no place like
I have also been known to cause persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS) in females of the opposite sex.
It's been my cross to bear since I was in the fifth grade and had to fight off Miss DeLisi, my teacher, who looked a lot like a young Kelly LeBrock.
It's only gotten worse since I became a professional golfer. I've learned to deal with it by lowering my standards way, way down.
You are welcome on my lawn.
This is such a blatant SLASHVERTISEMENT!!!
*Puh-lease*. This is Slashdot.
If you haven't gotten head while tanking a raid boss at least once you're not doing it right.
Fixed. True story.
Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
I know firsthand what a terrible affliction this can be. I am male and suffer the same uncomfortable, social stigma of constant sexual arousal. After watching this Intel core i7 unboxing on YouTube. The moneyshot it that heatsink! I am nearly there....
In post Patriot Act America, the library books scan you.
Wow. You seriously, SERIOUSLY need to take women off that pedestal you've been building since you typed that first DOS command. You probably see your mother (and all women) as being perfect angels with (in your words) "a more holy purpose in life". You're going to be confused, angry, lonely and upset until you realise that you, me, and everyone else on this rock (even women) are mammals, and we just LOVE to get down and dirty once in a while. People love sex, because the ones that didn't love sex didn't have babies. Humans are always at least 25% about sex, and that goes up to 100% once feeding, fighting, and fleeing are taken care of. "Sinful activities"? Please.
Think about this for a moment: Your mum probably likes it up the ass occasionally. Did that make you angry? That's because you think of her as some magical ideal, and not as a living breathing passionate person who gave birth to you after a lot of passionate sex.
Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
The cure for persistent sexual arousal syndrome in women is:
Wedding cake.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Uhm, wait a second, this is Slashdot, we aren't supposed to talk about how we meet lovely women and sleep with them
What is this "women" thing of which you speak?
This ain't rocket surgery.
There is a very horny lady (like the one in the article) who desperately needed an "aid".
Lady: "Show me all the dildos"
Salesman: "We have a very big selection in this aisle"
Lady: "Show me the biggest ones"
Salesman: "Sure, in the right wall you can find the biggest dildos"
Lady: "oooh, I like what I see. I'm taking the red one"
Salesman: "You mean the huge red one hanging on the wall? That is not for sale!"
Lady: "YES, I WANT IT! WHY NOT?"
Salesman: "Uhm... that's a fire extinguisher."
... in the future of USA and the world, there are more STD's from your disgraceful behaviour now in your time then there ever was in 30 years ago ...
This is Slashdot. Around here, an STD should be worn like a medal. "Hey, guys, I've had sex, AND I can prove it!"
different people have different libidos. We don't have to kill each other over it.
Killing is unavoidable for necrophiliacs with persistent arousal syndrome...
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
And now the slightest of vibrations, from mobile phones to food processors, turns her on.
It's more severe than I thought. She's turning into a teenage boy.
But then I realized the cable was blue, so I only gave it one star. I hate blue.