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Can World's Largest Laser Zap Earth's Energy Woes?
newviewmedia.com writes "Scientists at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory plan on using a laser the size of three football fields to set off a nuclear reaction so intense that it will make a star bloom on the surface of the Earth. If they're successful, the scientists hope to solve the global energy crisis by harnessing the energy generated by the mini-star."
<spoiler>
everyone dies apart from Bruce Willis
</spoiler>
And from the article
Ted Stevens, is that you?
Don't worry, it's safe to approach during nighttime.
...these laser are small enough to be mounted on a shark.....
"Don't worry folks. The fire at Lawrence Livermore will burn itself out at the Mississippi."
Nah. Fusion power is supposed to be perpetually 10 or 20 years away. They made a big mistake with that deadline; with a mere two year timeline, people will actually remember what was promised when the deadline passes.
$_ = "wftedskaebjgdpjgidbsmnjgcdwatb"; tr/a-z/oh, turtleneck Phrase Jar!/; print
Well, if the star turns out to be a problem, you can get rid of it with a black hole from the LHC...
Better yet, almost everyone lives apart from Bruce Willis!
You can't take the sky from me.
At the very least this is one laser you don't want to look into with your remaining eye.
"If anyone needs me, I'm in the angry dome."
I wouldn't be surprised if its a death star type laser.
One frickin' huge shark.
Thought thinks itself.
My question is "Can we find a shark big enough?"
We should be safe unless the director of the facility has a white cat, is surrounded by beautiful girls, has a tank of sharks for visitors, ....
Won't we be for at least a short time a binary system?
But damn if this doesn't sound like the opening to the plot of a disaster movie.
It is. It's the plot of Spiderman 2.
Oh, wait, I thought you said disastrous movie.
UTF-8: There and Back Again
Hey, don't complain - usually we just link to a blog, which links to another blog linking a twitter feed with a tinurl-obfuscated link to another blog finally linking to a tabloid article. When you worked yourself through that link chain, you have all the information you need to google for the original source, which, of course, is behind a paywall.
Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant.
If the laser is the size of 3 football fields how big does the shark have to be?
Hope is the currency of fools
Just curious.
How about the fact that the SELF SUSTAINING FUSION REACTION goes out in the water like a fucking candle? Noooo, nothing will put out a fusion reaction, except, you know, the same thing that puts out a regular fire.
Hey, fuckfaces (aimed at the writers and producers), Spiderman is a story about a geek overcoming physical limitations to enact justice using his well above average intellect and insight. That's right, it's a movie for geeks. You know, the kind of people who would SCOFF at the mutilation of science.
Next time, remember that you can't spell science fiction without science. Pfft, if your movies indicate that you probably can't spell anything.
nobody can second guess what fruits fundemental research will bear.
Most of the research I've done into fundamentalists indicates that they don't bear fruits well at all.
And I don't think you're supposed to call them "fruits", it's kind of derogatory.
Budget restrictions prevented that, so they will use Roseanne Barr in a finned sharkskin bikini.
"This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
These people with their science talk...
They are trying to figure out the time cube. That's the third reason.